Jokes & Riddles (Entertainment & Music) - August 2006

3 ⤊

How true this is?

If a person commit suicide before he dies,he'll not rest in peace but rest in 'pieces'...what do u think?!

2006-08-03 19:24:53 · 9 answers · asked by nabila 2

0 ⤊

please can i have your opinions????

i have partly got my website on jokes up and running and would be grateful if you could leave me your honest opinions on this site as i am trying to improve to suit everyone.
thank you

2006-08-03 19:18:43 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

2 ⤊

A fly was flying above the river

A fish said if that fly drops 5 inches i will jump and catch it

A bear said if that fly drops 5 inches and the fish jumps i will catch the fish.

A hunter said if that fly drops 5 inches and the fish jumps,and the bear catches the fish i will shoot the bear.

A cat said if that fly drops 5 inches and the fish jumps and the bear catches it,and the hunter goes to shoot the bear-i will steal the sardines from his sandwiches.

suddenly the fly drops 5 inches

the bear catches the fish

the hunter lifts his gun

the cat rushes forward to steal the sardines,but slips and falls into the river.

the moral to this story is-

If a fly drops 5 inches

A pussie is going to get awfully wet.

2006-08-03 19:18:37 · 8 answers · asked by Ron~N 5

2 ⤊

What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?

♥

2006-08-03 19:17:45 · 9 answers · asked by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7

2 ⤊

If a fly ????

A fly was flying above the river

A fish said if that fly drops 5 inches i will jump and catch it

A bear said if that fly drops 5 inches and the fish jumps i will catch the fish.

A hunter said if that fly drops 5 inches and the fish jumps,and the bear catches the fish i will shoot the bear.

A cat said if that fly drops 5 inches and the fish jumps and the bear catches it,and the hunter goes to shoot the bear-i will steal the sardines from his sandwiches.

suddenly the fly drops 5 inches

the bear catches the fish

the hunter lifts his gun

the cat rushes forward to steal the sardines,but slips and falls into the river.

the moral to this story is-

If a fly drops 5 inches

A PUSSY is going to get awfully wet.

2006-08-03 19:14:29 · 14 answers · asked by Ron~N 5

1 ⤊

sigh an oldie but a goodie :)`?

One day George W. Bush and Dick Cheney walk into a diner. A waitress
walks up to them and asks if she can take their order. Bush leans
close to her and says, "Honey, can I have a quickie?"
The waitress is appalled and yells at the President about women's
rights and storms away.
Cheney then says to Bush, "George, its pronounced 'quiche'."

♥

2006-08-03 19:09:10 · 11 answers · asked by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7

1 ⤊

a joke...lol.?

One day a man spotted a lamp by the roadside. He picked it up, rubbed it vigorously and a genie appeared.
"I'll grant you your fondest wish," the genie said.
The man thought for a moment, then said, " I want a spectacular job-- a job that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever attempted to do."
"Poof!" said the genie. "You're a housewife."

:)

2006-08-03 19:00:24 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

3 ⤊

Why is The Sixth Sick Sheik's Sixth Sheep Sick?

just wondering.

2006-08-03 18:45:43 · 2 answers · asked by hott.dawg™ 6

1 ⤊

Rubbing it.... a joke..rtngs pls..?

Experimenting with a trick, a magician accidentally changed his wife into a sofa and his two children into armchairs. He called an ambulance and they were rushed to the hospital. Later, the worried sorcerer phoned to check their condition.
" Resting comfortably," said the doctor.

2006-08-03 18:38:03 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2 ⤊

Secret message?

Whats the secret message ? worth 10 points

R TVG GVM KLRMGH

2006-08-03 18:34:18 · 4 answers · asked by qantasmile 2

17 ⤊

A biker walks into a yuppie bar and ?

A biker walks into a yuppie bar and shouts, “All lawyers are a ssholes!” He looks around, obviously hoping for a challenge.
Finally a guy comes up to him, taps him on the shoulder, and says, “Take that back.”
The biker says, “Why? Are you a lawyer?”
“No, I’m an a sshole.”

2006-08-03 18:32:03 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

1 ⤊

What am I...?

To some a bloated ball of gas,
To others I'm a king,
I'll stare you down with one red eye
Or fry you with lightning..

*riddle*

2006-08-03 18:32:00 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous

0 ⤊

Just a joke, no offense :)?

A biker walks into a yuppie bar and shouts, “All lawyers are a ssholes!” He looks around, obviously hoping for a challenge.
Finally a guy comes up to him, taps him on the shoulder, and says, “Take that back.”
The biker says, “Why? Are you a lawyer?”
“No, I’m an a sshole.”

2006-08-03 18:29:42 · 16 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

1 ⤊

Wanna hear a funny joke??

2 prostitutes are standing on a corner. They see a cop pass by.
One says to the other...
"Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
The other answers..
"No, but I've been twirled around by the ****!"

2006-08-03 18:23:07 · 12 answers · asked by newyorkjenna 2

2 ⤊

Hello everyone,try to guess my favorite color?

If u suceed,u will get 10points.

2006-08-03 18:18:42 · 21 answers · asked by Niniliciouz 2

0 ⤊

Whats better than a dirty sanchez and why?

2006-08-03 18:16:55 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

1 ⤊

How do you get out .......?

You are locked in the back of the car. The only thing you have is a pocket knife, a shoelace, and a half eaten candy bar...

How do you get out?

2006-08-03 18:16:21 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

3 ⤊

Help with a Game Show puzzle... 3 doors and only 1 prize?

Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind one door is a car; behind the others, goats. You pick a door, say No. 1, and the host, who knows what's behind the doors, opens another door, say No. 3, which has a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to pick door No. 2?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice?

2006-08-03 18:10:13 · 7 answers · asked by Neal 2

2 ⤊

What is this sentence Really tell us?

Remember : This sentence has all the clues for the answer.

George eats old grey rats and paints houses yellow.

2006-08-03 17:58:19 · 15 answers · asked by Eagleman 3

2 ⤊

What is your favorite problem?

2006-08-03 17:46:17 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

1 ⤊

tick toc goes tha clock?

if a broken clock is broke at 12 oclock is it right twice a day or just once a day?

2006-08-03 17:43:09 · 27 answers · asked by internet_mack 2

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who will use these answering machine messages(and if you have some post them)?

Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with 1 of these magnets

A is for academics, B is for beer. 1 of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message and I’ll get back to you

Hi. This is john. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry, I have plenty of money

Hi. Now you say something

Hi, I’m not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep

Hello. I am David’s answering machine. What are you?

Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages

This is not an answering machine-this is a telepathic thought recording device. After the tone think about your name, your reason for calling and number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call

My owners do not need their wall painted, windows washed, or their carpets steamed cleaned. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you

Hi. I am probably home; I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave a message, and if I don’t call back, its you

If you are a burglar, then we’re probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can’t come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren’t home and its safe to leave us a message

Hi, this is George. I’m sorry I can’t answer the phone right now. Leave a message and then wait by your phone until I call you back

Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us