give me your best joke...?

Question

looking for the best joke

Answer 1

ah. Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very
attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly
departed...

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

2 guys walk in to a bar.the other one ducks. thats it

Answer 2

A Horse, a Chicken & the Harley



On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!



Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.



Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!



Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals.



A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thing and he would then lift him out of the pit.



The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.



The moral of the story? (yep, you betcha, there IS a moral!) ... scroll down ...





























"When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks"

Answer 3

Donald Rumsfeld briefed the President this morning.

He told Bush that 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq.

To everyone's amazement, all of the color ran from Bush's face.

Then he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken, almost whimpering.

Finally, he composed himself and asked Rumsfeld,
"Just exactly how many is a brazillion?"

Answer 4

Tom Cruise!

Answer 5

Pudding.No seriously.A womans husband dies,and she goes to the priest after the service with a percular reqest.the priest stands their shocked, but eventualy,after a little convincing,says yes.The next day he comes over with a brown bag in his hand.The woman lets him inside,and takes the bag.She opens the bag and pulls out her husbands severed penis.She puts on some water and boils it.The priest says he cant imagine what she would want that for,and she says"All my life i've eaten it his way and now im going to eat it mine".

Answer 6

one sperm asked another, how long we have to travel to reach the overy. The another sperm answered, it is quite far, we have just crossed the tonsile.

Answer 7

what's better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics?


answer: not being retarded

Answer 8

what happens when Donald Rumsfeld takes Viagra??





he gets taller!!!!

Answer 9

what do you call cans in mexico?
i donno, what?
mexicans.