Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

y doz the sun darken our skin but lightn our hair?
y cant us women put on mascara w/o our mouths closed?
y dont you ever c the headline ''psychic wins the lottery''?
y is abbreviated such a long wrd?
y is lemon jucie made wit artifiacal flavor but dish washin liquid is made wit real lemons?
y is the man who investall ur $$ called a broker?
y is the slowest part of taffic called rush hour?
y isnt there a mouse flavored cat food?
y didnt noah swat the two mosquitoes?
if con is the oppisite of pro is congress the oppisite of progress?

2006-08-13 11:00:00 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-13 10:59:06 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

what are some good jones for people who constantly mess with you

2006-08-13 10:53:12 · 3 answers · asked by Nu 2

joker is gay

2006-08-13 10:51:57 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon everyone was evacuated from the church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving... seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"

The man replied, "Yep, sure do."

Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"

"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.

Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 yrs.

2006-08-13 10:49:49 · 14 answers · asked by jussmessin 2

Three men went to a motel. The motel manager said a room cost $30, so each man put up $10 and went to their room. A little while later the manager realized the room was only $25, so he sent the bellhop back to the three guys' room with $5. On the way to the room the bellhop couldn't figure out how to split the $5 between the 3 men, so he gave each one of them $1 and he kept the other $2.

This meant that the 3 men paid $9 each for the room for a total of $27. Add the $2 that the bellhop kept = $29.

Where did the other dollar go?

2006-08-13 10:44:24 · 13 answers · asked by gpetit 2

wheel on your penis!" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, they're driving me nuts!"

2006-08-13 10:43:11 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

my friends keep doin practical jokes on me.. n i never seem to b able to get back at them! help me.. cus i rly wanna scare them:P lol or jus make em scream:D

2006-08-13 10:38:14 · 5 answers · asked by wiccan_mami 1

Jokes of the following....

Sexual
Funny
Long jokes are the ones my friend likes!


Whoever makes her smile or laugh gets best answer!
this is for my friend, please no rude things to say to me or my friend and please no fits with me or her!!

2006-08-13 10:37:04 · 7 answers · asked by Marissa 3

There were two cows in a field, the one turns to the other and says, "Aren't you afraid of that Mad Cow disease?"...The other says, "Why? I'm a helicopter!" HA!

2006-08-13 10:35:43 · 17 answers · asked by Laurie 3

There was a pan of muffins in the oven, and one muffin turns to the other..."Boy, it's getting HOT in here!"......The other muffin says" AHHH! A talking muffin!" HA!

2006-08-13 10:33:37 · 14 answers · asked by Laurie 3

I was watching the HBO special on the aristocrats joke, I thought it was going to be a really funny joke, first time someone said it fully , I didn't even know it was over. It just wasn't funny or I didn't get. What so funny about the kids doing this, mother doing that, father and pet doing something also. If you heard the joke you know I can't say what they did.
But does anyone find the joke funny or unfunny and if so why? If you can help please explain it to me.

2006-08-13 10:33:21 · 5 answers · asked by ArchAngel Raziel 3

2006-08-13 10:20:58 · 11 answers · asked by hunter 1

i rly wanna do a prank!! while hes a sleep.. help me yall!!!

2006-08-13 10:18:56 · 27 answers · asked by wiccan_mami 1

2006-08-13 10:02:25 · 15 answers · asked by kookyloo123 1

that the people next door can hear me lets make this a contest...

2006-08-13 10:00:55 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

Answer; Drop it n*igger

2006-08-13 09:54:32 · 8 answers · asked by cmann19078 1

ok, now that i got your attention, can u give me some good jokes?

2006-08-13 09:51:29 · 3 answers · asked by Kurt Cobain2 2

2006-08-13 09:50:43 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

When my little brother was 8, my family went to Target for Back-to-school shopping. We got to the register and the check-out lady picks up a pink notebook (mine) and teasingly asks my brother "Is this for you?" and he says "No, I'm a boy!" and she says "Are you sure?" and my brother says "Well, if I'm not, I'm wearing the wrong underwear!"
It was a lot funnier in real life, but I have a friend who wanted this posted here, so...yeah! It also humiliates my brother, who's a teen now and gets embarrassed by everything I do, so that's an added bonus.
~mel~

2006-08-13 09:28:35 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

i hate having no short term mammory glands

2006-08-13 09:16:25 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-13 09:10:44 · 8 answers · asked by Caterina24 2

ok im bored lol!

Once I found -well shown that there was a used hoover bag (full of dust etc) for sale hehehe! and also a blown up bag of nothing! lmao. what can you find?? make me laugh!!!

2006-08-13 08:45:21 · 13 answers · asked by Caterina24 2

my fiend had me in tears of laughter after saying if you dont lik someone get a news paper fill it full of dog poo and set it alight outside their dor- they will come running out and stamp put the fire, poo flying everywhere!
lol oh so imature but such a funny gag, i dont hink they had ever done it but had me in giggles!

also an aprils fools at my husbands work they all sent out faxes to their employees saying send back you work time sheets in a seeled envelope and fax it back! lol they fell for it! pmsl - what dohnuts!

2006-08-13 08:43:35 · 11 answers · asked by Caterina24 2

There is just too many,so come one,anyones you can think of or even worse,ones that have been used on you,tell me your stories.
did once get good out of the bad "i lost my no. can i have yours?"

2006-08-13 08:37:17 · 14 answers · asked by kez_124 4

"When I let my shoulder lean, it dislocated. I let my chain hang to the floor, and I tripped over it. I snapped my fingers so hard, they broke.....The dangers of rap."

Is it funny? And, yes I did make this up.

2006-08-13 08:30:28 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-13 08:17:54 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

Woh kaun Hai Jo Mann Mein AHi,Dil Mein HAi Par Dhadkan Mein Nahin???????????????????

2006-08-13 08:07:44 · 5 answers · asked by Ronaldinho 1

I love little johnny jokes.or any similar.cheers people

2006-08-13 07:58:52 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-13 07:48:02 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous