worst pick-up lines +stories?

Question

There is just too many,so come one,anyones you can think of or even worse,ones that have been used on you,tell me your stories.
did once get good out of the bad "i lost my no. can i have yours?"

bless everyone has had bad experiences lol,i couldnt help go aww when someone said "someone like you needs better than me,but would you settle?" i woz like awww,hang on,no! lol

Answer 1

girl...you are a tall drink of water...and i'm so thirsty. ugh.

Answer 2

I remember my friends and I used to say pick up lines to each other just for fun so I once said to my friend "Did you eat a bowl of Lucky Charms this morning? Cuz' you're magically delicious!" I know...that one was really lame, but I got it at this site full of pick up lines. Here's the site: www.pickuphelp.com
A lot of the lines are either stupid or funny.

Answer 3

The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.

I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

I like every bone in your body especially mine.

How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?

Will you be my love buffet so I can lay you out on a table and take anything I want?

Why don't you sit on my face and let me eat my way to your heart?

Baby I'm like milk, I'll do your body good.

Is that a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them.

Hey baby lets play army I'll lay down you can blow me up.

If your left is thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas can I visit you in-between the holidays

If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

You're like a Pringles. Once I pop you, I can't stop you!

I want to kiss you passionately on the lips, and then move up to your belly-button.

Is it hot in here or is it just you?

If you were a car door I would slam you all night long

Baby, your so fine, I want to pour milk all over you and make you part of my complete breakfast.

How about you sit on my lap and we'll straighten things out

Baby, I'd run a mile for your vertical smile. Nice shirt.... wanna ****?

If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

Can I have fries with that shake!

I've got the F, the C, and the K. All I need is U.

You're so sweet you're giving me a toothache.

Hey baby, can I tickle your belly button from the inside?

If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.

Hi, I'm new in town. Can I have directions to your house?

Pardon my is there a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants.

Do you know CPR because you take my breath away.

Your daddy must of been a drug dealer 'cause you're dope.

My face is leaving in 15 minutes...be on it!

I'd look good on you.

When does your centerfold come out.

So do ya wanna see something really swell?

I've seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?

I've got the hot dog and you got the buns.

Is your name Gillette? ...because you're the best a man can get.

Are we near the airport or is that just my heart taking off?

I may not be Fred Flinstone, but I sure can make your bed rock.

You have nice legs. What time do they open?

Do you like Subway? How about my foot long?

Hey that dress looks nice. Can I talk you out of it.

Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd just love to tap that ***!

Are those pants from outer space? Cause that *** is out of this world.

You're like a championship bass, I don't know if I should mount you or eat you.

Is your dad a terrorist? Because your the bomb!

Are you a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you.

If I flip this coin, what are the chances of me getting head tonight?

Answer 4

I had a guy that approached me by bragging about being in the army. Then, when that didn't work, he said something like, "what I would do to you with some strawberries and whipped cream" Boooo. I just showed him my wedding ring.

Answer 5

I once told a girl in a bar that I didn't have hepatitis -c anymore. she was not impressed. and don't ever tell a girl she reminds you of your mom. they also get suspicious when you talk about x-rays too much. they won't say anything at all if you brag about not having been in jail for "almost three years now".

Answer 6

I posted an add on craigslist (personals) a man wrote me back that he was smart and then went into a two page detail of how he was going to sexually satisfy me. I wrote back that men who need to assure me they can satisfy me CAN"T, he wrote back asking for a picture. I did not send

Answer 7

Whilst dancing with some girls we had met in a dance hall (1960's when we did such things) my friend said to the girl he had joined.

"You don't sweat much for a fat girl when you dance, do you?'

My favourite was 'I had a dream last night and it was about you. Thank you so much.'

Didn't work too well.

Another was 'I just saw you dancing and thought 'Wow'. Can I join you?'

Answer 8

My first name is Destiny. After talking to a guy for a while, he asked my name and I told him. He said "How ironic! My horoscope said I was going to find my destiny tonight."

Answer 9

A guy came up to me and asked me if I had any Irish in me. I told him no, then he said "would you like some" haha.. I fell out laughing... thought that was creative.

Answer 10

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself 'She'll never go for me carrying on like that,' so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans, and shortly after that they got married.
A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had three extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he farted. He 'putted' down one hill and 'putt-putted' up the next. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe.

His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, 'Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!' She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek. At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and she went to answer the phone.

While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but *ripe* as a rotten egg.

He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and 'rrriiiipppp!' It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. Things had just about returned to normal when he felt another urge coming. He shifted his weight to his other leg and let go. This was a real blue ribbon winner; the windows rattled, the dishes on the table shook and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead. While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and fanning them each time with his napkin.

When he heard the 'phone farewells' (indicating the end of his loneliness and freedom) he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner. After assuring her he had not, she removed the blindfold and yelled, 'Surprise!'

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.

Answer 11

i was in a bar and somebody asked if i was going to be walking alone to my car tonight.