Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

any kind of joke as long as it's funny

2006-08-13 07:46:01 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

i think police are searching for a man selling a black and white carpet but not sure am i correct

2006-08-13 07:38:40 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Do I love you or the other person that is looking at this?

2006-08-13 07:38:02 · 8 answers · asked by Panda Bear 1

2006-08-13 07:36:34 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous

Some 1 make me laugh! Pleaz!

2006-08-13 07:20:42 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-13 07:04:13 · 10 answers · asked by welshwife 4

follow the directions:

1. WRITE DOWN THE 1ST 3 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER. NOT THE AREA CODE.

2. MULTIPLY BY 80

3. ADD 1

4. MULTIPLY BY 250

5. ADD THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE #

6. REPEAT STEP 5

7. SUBTRACT 250

8. DIVIDE BY 2



IT SHOULD LOOK FAMILIAR IF U DID IT RIGHT.


HAVE FUN!

2006-08-13 06:38:53 · 40 answers · asked by Smile =]™ 4

2006-08-13 06:35:47 · 8 answers · asked by chris z 3

2006-08-13 06:30:15 · 10 answers · asked by Tamsin 2

2006-08-13 06:26:40 · 9 answers · asked by rey7395 2

2006-08-13 06:18:59 · 20 answers · asked by Tamsin 2

2006-08-13 06:04:27 · 17 answers · asked by ? 2

2006-08-13 05:57:13 · 40 answers · asked by Bruza 17/uk 3

A man walks into a bar carrying a tiny man playing a tiny piano. The bartender says, "That's cool, where did you get him?" The guy says, "There's a genie outside who'll grant you a wish." The bartender goes out and tells the genie, "I want a million bucks." Poof! He gets a million ducks. He storms back in angrily, followed by the ducks, goes up to the guy, and says, "That genie stinks! I asked him for a million bucks and he gave me a million ducks!" The guy turns to the bartender and says, "You think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?"

2006-08-13 05:47:41 · 17 answers · asked by LaBeLlAvItA 1

something that will really make me laugh?!
like this one time, i fell on the treadmill in the gim
haha i guess that looked pretty hilarious...

2006-08-13 05:38:26 · 13 answers · asked by stompie 1

2006-08-13 05:34:34 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

A conductor is conducting his symphony, and he is very stressed. His best violinist had just quit, so he had to hire a new one on the spot. The new violinist was inexperienced, and kept messing up with the song.
"Do you know how important this symphony is to me!?!" The conductor growled after rehearsal.
"Yeah, I'm sorry I keep messing up." the violinist says meekly.
"You'd better be sorry! If you screw up my symphony, I'll be the laughing stock of every conductor in the world!"
"I'm really sorry." says the violinist.
This wasn't good enough for the conductor. He wanted to be sure the violinist played right.
"I'm going to carry a loaded gun with me onstage tomorrow, and if you mess up, I will SHOOT you." he yells
"Maybe if you weren't such a bad conductor you wouldn't have to make idle threats." snaps the violinist, and storms off.
"I'll show him," thinks the violinist "tomorrow, I will purposely ruin the symphony.
The next day, the violinist plays his note terribly off pitch.

2006-08-13 05:30:30 · 8 answers · asked by bowlingcap 2

i offer to play a card game with you using a normal deck of 52 cards. the rules of the game are that we will turn over two cards at a time. if the cards are both black, they go into my pile. if they are both red, they go into your pile. if there is one red and one black, they go into the discard pile.

we repeat the two card flipping until we've gone through all 52 cards. whoever has more cards in their pile at the end wins. i win if there is a tie. if you win, i pay you a dollar. how much would you pay to play this game?

2006-08-13 05:14:09 · 8 answers · asked by overmyhead 1

2006-08-13 05:13:16 · 29 answers · asked by blaaah 2

wood chuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood?

After all these years, I just thought about it. I remember being a little girl and my gramma saying that to me. I was thinking of her and had to smile when this riddle came back to me.


I LOVE YOU GRANNY!

2006-08-13 04:52:42 · 12 answers · asked by whatwhatwhatidontknowOK 2

question is open to all

2006-08-13 04:33:11 · 18 answers · asked by smilee 2

A man walked up to a farmer's house, and knocked on the door. When the farmer's wife opened the door, the man asked if she knew how to have sex. Not amused, she slammed the door.

Again, the man knocked, and again, he asked the same question. Again, she slammed the door and screamed, "Get the hell away!"

Later, she told her husband of the incident. He said he would stay home the following day just in case.

Sure enough, the next day the same man returned. The husband hid with his gun while his wife answered the door. When she was asked again if she knew how to have sex she said, "Yes!"

The man replied, "Great! Give some to your husband the next time you see him, and tell him to keep away from my wife!"

2006-08-13 04:22:37 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

i just want to know.

2006-08-13 04:02:48 · 29 answers · asked by raidersoccer4 1

I appear once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years... What am I? __________________ This is just another cute little riddle, first person to guess it right gets 10 points.. Good Luck!

2006-08-13 03:59:32 · 15 answers · asked by jokerslady28 2

there was a place where there was no electricty at all.Imagin u where there and some fat guys are chasing u and suddenly they catch u,and they give u three things that can kill u the following r-
a poisonous kife that can kill u in10 minutes
a gun that can kill u in 5 minutes
an electric chair that can kill u on that spot
which would u choose?why?

2006-08-13 03:49:52 · 12 answers · asked by anuja 1

you make sure he can wok (walk)...

2006-08-13 03:42:05 · 6 answers · asked by shoot1score2 2

Just a cute little riddle.. First person to guess it gets 10 points.. Good Luck!!!

2006-08-13 03:38:55 · 33 answers · asked by jokerslady28 2

A woman carefully steers with her pedal to the metal. She has covered the length of a football field while leaving a neat row of tracks behind her. Yet after the last yard, when she stands up, she's in the place where she began. Even though she didn't go in a circle or turn back, this is normal for her. What has just happened?

2006-08-13 03:38:04 · 10 answers · asked by simply_boring 4

What is the most dangerous city in the world?

2006-08-13 03:36:41 · 9 answers · asked by anuja 1

oi vey!

2006-08-13 03:00:22 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous