Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

2006-07-20 16:42:39 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous

1. Make racecar noises when anyone gets on or off.

2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.

3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: 'Shut up, all of you just shut UP!'

4. Whistle the first seven notes of 'It's a Small World' incessantly.

5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.

6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

7. Shave.

8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: 'Got enough air in there?'

9. Offer nametags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: 'Noogie patrol coming!'

13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

14. One word: Flatulence!

15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go 'plink' at the bottom.

16. Do Tai Chi exercises.

17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: 'I've got new socks on!'

2006-07-20 16:31:04 · 18 answers · asked by ♥michele♥ 7

A man takes a taxi and goes to a bar, he is sitting having a drink and sees this guy staring at him and just looking at his watch, he is freaked out and and goes to another bar, he gets another drink and he sees the same guy just looking at his watch, he goes to a third bar and sees the same guy!!

Who is the guy with the watch?

2006-07-20 16:29:21 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

YOU KNOW, THE TEACHERS LIKE WHAT GETS BIGGER WHEN YOU BLOW IT AND THE BOY SAYS A SAIL, AND THE TEACHERS LIKE WHAT HAS BROWN FUZZY HAIR ON IT AND IT HAS A WHITE LIQUID SUBSTANCE INSIDE AND THE LITTLE BOY SAYS A COCONUT... DOES ANYONE KNOW THE WHOLE THING?

2006-07-20 16:26:33 · 4 answers · asked by lizwall526 2

2006-07-20 16:25:57 · 20 answers · asked by Alyssie 2

give a funny weding vow

2006-07-20 16:25:32 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-20 16:20:34 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

two muffins are in the oven one turned to the other one and said "man it's hot in here" the other turned to the first one and said "AHHHH a talking muffin!"

if any 1 is wondering i get my jokes from my old band teacher

2006-07-20 16:19:27 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

You also have to answer approximately how many did I tell that joke to at one time? (With out going over the number)

Hint more than 100 ppl but less than 600 ppl.

You have to answer you have to guess where I was when I told the joke.

Lastly, you have to answer was I nervous, and did everyone laugh at the joke?


If you tell the joke correctly and answer all of the detailed question... You'll get the 10 points.

Is it worth 10 points for you to go through the trouble?

Let's see.

2006-07-20 16:17:15 · 6 answers · asked by Questions/Answers Critic (QAC)! 3

!!!!!!!

2006-07-20 16:15:49 · 5 answers · asked by Keannekke 1

what one thing is necessary for human life to begin, but in turn is also the sole cause of the ending of human life?

2006-07-20 16:13:42 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-20 16:13:03 · 3 answers · asked by Alyssie 2

A man went to buy a horse and the salesman said "to get this guy goin you say praise the lord to get him to stop say moses" so the man got on and he said "praise the lord" the horse started goin he said it again and again till the horse went speedin fast all of a sudden a cliff was up ahead the guy panics and says " Ruth, no, uh ezikial, no MOSES!" the horse stops right at the cliffs edge and the man wipes his forehead and says "praise the lord"

2006-07-20 16:03:49 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-20 16:02:45 · 12 answers · asked by Alyssie 2

This baby sitter was caring for 10 children and she wanted to give each child one whole cookie and still leave at least one whole cookie in the cookie jar. She was able to give each child a whole cookie and still leave one cookie in the jar. How was this possible?

2006-07-20 15:59:53 · 10 answers · asked by Janis G 5

when does 11 come before 3?

2006-07-20 15:59:04 · 5 answers · asked by maria f 2

A rabbit is riding a motorcycle on the highway. While passing
a car, he knocks on the window.
The driver of the car opens the window: 'Yes ?'
Rabbit: 'Ever driven a Honda motorcycle ?'
Driver: 'No I haven't'
The rabbit drives on, until he sees the next car. While pas-
sing it, he knocks on the window.
The driver of the car opens the window: 'Yes ?'
Rabbit: 'Ever driven a Honda motorcycle ?'
Driver: 'No I haven't'
Then suddenly there is a curve, the rabbit sees it too late.
He crashes of the road into a ditch. A car stops and a man
runs to the unlucky rabbit. Covered in blood and surely dying,
the rabbit asks: 'Ever driven a Honda motorcycle ?'
'Yes I have. I had a Honda for twenty years' the man answers.
The rabbit asks: ________ ________ ___________ ________?

2006-07-20 15:56:03 · 11 answers · asked by Questions/Answers Critic (QAC)! 3

I allow him or her to do things,
sometimes people thinks I am about female animals
look closely at the words of this riddle,
and it's not hard to find the answer.

2006-07-20 15:54:41 · 15 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

frist answer this question,then you go to answer the next question you have to guess the name i use to name my avatar.

2006-07-20 15:50:46 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

I need to hear a good joke, anyone up to it?

2006-07-20 15:48:50 · 8 answers · asked by tybardy 4

So i will do a sentance contest. use all the letters of the alphabet in one sentance and get 10 points use most of them get 2 points :) fair right i hope

2006-07-20 15:46:09 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

...tell me the punch line for 10 points.(the 1st correct response.)

2006-07-20 15:44:38 · 27 answers · asked by MaryBeth 7

if you tell me a funny joke!!! I'll give you 10 points if it is good!!!

2006-07-20 15:43:59 · 10 answers · asked by Volleyball15 2

2006-07-20 15:35:14 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-20 15:33:44 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

congratulations your pregnant. and your fired.. what the heck happened?

2006-07-20 15:28:26 · 14 answers · asked by askmike 5

and yes, I will give out 10 points to the person who does the best lil jig!!

2006-07-20 15:16:11 · 23 answers · asked by Stick-ninja 3

ok there once was a girl named sleepy sunday school suzy and she was in the class sleeping, when her teacher asked what was the name of Gods son. Tommy in the seat behind her poked suzy in the but with a needle she jumped up and said JESUS! she soon fell back asleep and the teacher called on her again, and asked, " what is our creators name" tommy again poked her in the butt and she jumped up saying GOOD GOD. She soon fell asleep. The teacher called on her and asked " What did eve say to adam when they were having their 88th child? again tommy poked her. She jumped up screaming " YOU STICK THAT THING UP MY BUTT ONE MORE TIME ILL SNAPP IT IN HALF!!!!!!!"

2006-07-20 15:15:07 · 25 answers · asked by redoman454 1

no it is not 0

2006-07-20 14:58:37 · 35 answers · asked by cathiesk 3

2006-07-20 14:50:03 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous