Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

They are almost orgasmic.

2006-07-23 20:38:52 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-23 20:20:20 · 9 answers · asked by panda 1

An old fashioned bike wheel has 21 spokes. How many spaces are between the spokes - 20, 21, or 22?

2006-07-23 20:17:27 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

1 apple $1
1 orange $5
20 banana $1
----------------------
100 100
---------------------
no half fruit,quater fruit or so.
i have $100 and ihave to spent it all t
get total 100 fruit

how is the calculation.exp $1 banana 14
$6 apple 80
$2 orange 6

i wil get $100 for 100 fruit



































how is the calculation.exp $1 banana 14
$6 apple 80
$2 orange 6

i wil get $100 for 100 fruit

2006-07-23 20:12:58 · 13 answers · asked by MJJ3 2

2006-07-23 19:58:48 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Previously, we had this riddle:

What do you need to open a door?
A: A closed door!

Hehehe. And now for today's riddle:

What type of books always run away?

Have fun! :)

2006-07-23 19:30:07 · 12 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

is zebra white with black stripes or black with white stripes?

2006-07-23 19:07:34 · 23 answers · asked by Andrew Petrucci 2

2006-07-23 19:01:29 · 22 answers · asked by Nisha 4

the one who is paying is the Birthday GUY.
LOL!!!

2006-07-23 18:37:16 · 9 answers · asked by Andrew Petrucci 2

2006-07-23 18:33:16 · 10 answers · asked by boxergirl 5

there are three guys: a blind man, a deaf man and a mute man. They are having a dinner at a restaurant. but who's paying for the bill?
the blind or the deaf or the mute??

2006-07-23 18:28:47 · 16 answers · asked by Andrew Petrucci 2

He tells his sons that these horses MUST be divided equally among them and they cannot kill them or give any away. They must stay among the 3 sons.
The first son gets 1/2 of them
The 2nd gets 1/3 of them and the
3rd son gets 1/9...

How many horses does each son get? ( Whole horses of course)

2006-07-23 18:18:08 · 15 answers · asked by bobo 4

Best anser recieves points... duh... and my undying gratitude. I need a laugh. ENTERTAIN ME! I'm bored b.c MySpace is down.

2006-07-23 18:16:17 · 17 answers · asked by Violet 3

2006-07-23 18:07:19 · 19 answers · asked by FLea_Botomy 1

2006-07-23 18:06:27 · 22 answers · asked by boris4thjuly 1

A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was
relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 AM.

Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom
and started to climb into bed. She sleepily sat up and said, "Mike, dearest,
would you go down to the all-night drug store on the next block and get me some
aspirin? I've got a splitting headache."

"Certainly, honey," he said, and feeling his way across the room, he got
dressed and walked over to the drug store.

As he arrived, the pharmacist looked up in surprise, "Say," said the druggist,
"aren't you Officer Fenwick of the 8th District?"

"Yes, I am," said the officer.

"Well, then, what in the world are you doing in the Fire Chief's uniform?"

2006-07-23 17:51:52 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

Monday morning little Johnny came to school with a black eye.
His friends ask him what happened.

He tells them, "I was in church yesterday, when a big fat lady sat in front of me. When we got up to sing, I noticed she had huge wedgies.
I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I pulled it out, and she decked me".


The following Monday, little Johnny came to school with 2 black eyes. His friends once again asked what happened.

He told them,"I was in church yesterday, when the same fat lady came and sat in front of me.

When we got up to sing, she once again had the huge wedgies. The guy next to me pulled it out, but I knew she didn’t like it out,
so I pushed it back in..."

2006-07-23 17:41:29 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

here goes...

This married couple was on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the
marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal
shop. From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, "You
foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop."

So the married couple walked in. The Jamaican said to them, "I have some
special sandals I think you would be interested in. Dye makes you wild at sex."
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man
claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he
was. The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?"

The Jamaican replied, "Just try demon Man." Well, the husband, after some
badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he
slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his
wife hadn't seen in many years!!

In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him violently
over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a
firm hold of the Jamaican's hips.

The Jamaican then began screaming; YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!!!

2006-07-23 17:36:48 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-23 17:35:16 · 4 answers · asked by kenth_35 2

Men
1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.
4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one
Around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their
Luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off
If the women leaves them.
7. Although the women leaves them they still don't learn from their
Mistakes and still try their luck with others

Women:1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive
Clothes.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something
To wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress
Beauty
5.although they look like beauty they alwayz wear 'old ragz'
6.although they wear old ragz they alwayz want u to compliment

2006-07-23 17:12:26 · 11 answers · asked by sb 2

cartoon law I: any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of the situation
a duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. he loiters in midair, soliquizing flippantly, until he looks down
cartoon law II: any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly
whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon characters are so absolute in their momentum that only a telephone pole or an oversized boulder retards their foward motion absolutely
cartoon law III: any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter
also caled the "silhouetter of passage", this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of the house. the threat of skunks or matrimony aften catalyses this reaction

2006-07-23 17:08:08 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

does anyone have n e funny pick up lines?

2006-07-23 17:00:53 · 19 answers · asked by Ali A 1

When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was
attracted to him, and during her questions about his life,
she asked him how he had sex. "Tarzan not know sex," he
replied.
Jane explained to him what sex was.

Tarzan said, "Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree."

Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I
will show you how to do it properly."

She took off her clothes and lay down on the
ground. "Here," she said. "You must put it in here."

Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer with his huge
erection, and then gave her an almighty kick right in the
crotch. Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an
eternity. Eventually she managed to gasp for air and
screamed, "What did you do that for?"

"Tarzan check for bees."

2006-07-23 16:47:39 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-23 16:37:45 · 6 answers · asked by B 2

theres a green house
and inside the green house theres a white house
iside the white house theres a red house
inside the red house theres alot of babys
what am i?

2006-07-23 16:33:37 · 10 answers · asked by dubblehugs 2

What gets wet the more it dries?

2006-07-23 16:23:27 · 18 answers · asked by thunderwear 4

A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is
also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a
dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from
there."

A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks
up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to
him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath.

"Ah, yes, that's what I'll have -- meatloaf and mashed potatoes."

Unbelievable, the owner thinks as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook
happens to be the owner's wife. He tells her what had just happened.

The blind man eats his meal and leaves.

Several days later, the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly
brings him a menu again.

"Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."

"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork."

The owner retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.

After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great. I'll
take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli."

Walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing
around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man
comes in he's going to test him.

The blind man eats and leaves.

He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming
and runs to the kitchen.

He tells his wife, "Mary, rub this fork on your panties before I take
it to the blind man."

Mary complies and hands her husband the fork. As the blind man walks in
and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting.

"Good afternoon, sir, this time I remembered you and I already have
the fork ready for you."

The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff, and says,
"Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here..."

2006-07-23 16:20:15 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man worked for a high-security institution, and one day he went in to work only to find that he could not log in to his computer terminal. His password wouldn't work. Then he remembered that the passwords are reset every month for security purposes. So he went to his boss and they had this conversation:
Man-"Hey boss, my password is out of date."
Boss-"Yes, that's right. The password is different, but if you listen carefully you should be able to figure out the new one: It has the same amount of letters as your old password, but only four of the letters are the same."
Man: "Thanks boss."
With that, he went and correctly logged into his station.
What was the new password? What was his old password?

2006-07-23 16:17:48 · 24 answers · asked by shortycupcake_ci 2

You kill 5 toy soldiers. 5 toy soldiers live. How many yoy soldiers are there?

1st right anwer

2006-07-23 16:12:52 · 19 answers · asked by Smile =]™ 4

2006-07-23 16:12:49 · 20 answers · asked by MiiZZ SYLVE 1