2006-07-23 18:33:16 · 10 answers · asked by boxergirl 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Why did the signal turn red??
You'd turn red too if you changed in the middle of the street!
2006-07-27 06:49:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
On a flight to Singapore, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied.
The flight attendant noticed his predicament.
Sir, she said, "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."
He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR.
Who would know if he touched them? He couldn't resist. He pushed WW. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice things like this.
Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.
When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flowers to this unbelievable pleasure. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure. When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.
Next thing he knew he was in a hospital as he opened his eyes. A nurse was staring down at him with a smirk on her face.
"What happened?" he exclaimed. "You pushed one too many buttons," replied the nurse.
"The last button marked ATR was an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your balls are in the bucket under the bed "
2006-07-31 05:47:43 · answer #2 · answered by giko 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used
"Forgive Your Enemies" as his subject of the day. After a lengthy presentation,
he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies.
About half held up their hands.
Not satisfied, he harangued on for another twenty minutes and repeated his
question. This time he received a response of about 80 percent having the
capability to forgive.
Still unsatisfied with the congregation's response, he lectured for another
15 minutes and repeated his question.
With all thoughts now, on Sunday dinner, all those in attendance responded
with their ability to forgive, except one elderly lady in the rear.
"Mrs. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't
have any." "Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?"
"Ninety three."
"Mrs. Jones, would you please come down front and tell the congregation
how a person can live to be ninety-three, and not have an enemy in the world."
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, very slowly,
turned to face the congregation around and said: "It's easy, really.
... I just outlived the witches."
2006-07-23 20:12:03 · answer #3 · answered by reddogcudda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Phone rules
Welcome to the united states
press "1" for english
press "2" to be disconnected until u learn english
2006-07-30 08:39:05 · answer #4 · answered by BayBoy707 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok a stoner an alcoholic and a sex adict all get sent to hell.The devil takes the sex adict and puts him in a room full of sexy women.A hundred years later he comes back and unlocks the door and the sex adict says."Im so sorry, i will never have sex again!"
The devil then goes to the alcoholic and locks him in a room full of alcohol for 100 years.After 100 years he unlocks the door and the alcoholic says."I will never drink again.
Then the devil locks the stoner in a room of pot for 100 years.After 100m years he unlocks the door and the stoner is crying so the devil say."Whats wrong with you?"And the stoner looks up and says."I dont have a lighter."
awwwwww dont you feel sorry for him?
2006-07-23 18:54:52 · answer #5 · answered by Keegan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur mom so ugly she made blind kids cry
ur mom is so fat wen she fell down i tried hard not 2 laugh but the floor was crackin up
ur mom is so stupid she put a quarter in the parking slot machine and said weres my gumball
2006-07-30 13:28:41 · answer #6 · answered by lagunaangel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Queen Elizabeth, Bush & Musharraf died & went straight to hell. Queen Elizabeth said, "I miss England, I want to call England and see how everybody is doing there. She called and talked for about 5 minutes, and then she asked "Well, devil, how much do I owe you???? The devil says "Five million dollars" She wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair. Bush was so jealous, he starts screaming, "My turn! I wanna call the United States, I want to see how everybody is doing there too" He called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you???? The devil says "Ten million dollars" With a smug look on his face; he made a cheque and went to sit back on his chair. Musharraf was even more jealous & starts screaming, "I want to call Pakistan too, I wanna talk to the ministers, to the deputy, I wanna talk to everybody of my Parliament"... He called Pakistan and he talked for about twenty hours, he talked & talked & talked, then he asked, "Well, devil how much do I owe you???? The devil says "Twenty dollars". Musharraf is stunned & says "Twenty dollars??? Only??" The devil says "Well if you make a call from one hell to another hell, its local".
2006-07-23 23:47:34 · answer #7 · answered by PrAt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Raj: Meet my wife Riya
Ajay: Oh! I Know her
Raj: How?
Ajay: We used to sleep together...
Raj: What the hell...!
Ajay: 10 yrs. ago..in history class ..!
2006-07-23 18:47:47 · answer #8 · answered by Nisha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q. When does a pound not weigh a pound?
A. When it is a British currency.
2006-07-23 18:38:11 · answer #9 · answered by Mlsig 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the name r zebra ok...zeb pete and zeb bob
bob: pete! am i white with black stripes or black with white stripes?
pete: um...i dont ask god....
bob:ok
bob: god am i white wit black stripes or black with white stripes...?
god: u r wat u r!
pete: so,wat did he say ?
bob: he sed "u r wat u r"
pete: then ur white with black stripes...
bob: how do u no?
pete: cuz if u were black wit white stripes he would have sed "u iz wat u iz"
2006-07-23 20:27:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋