Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

I have seen some stuff that would tilt and break the weird sh*t-O-meter but one story I was told by a buddy in the army when he was a cop this guy flags him down while on patrol out in the middle of no where, the guy say "I am a little lost, and I have a bad head ache" when my friend took a closer look the guy had 6 inches worth of screwdriver jammed into the top of his head.
But could not remember how it got there or any clue would have done it.
he also complained a sore throat well again down to the crew driver poking right through into his throat.
So they took him to the hospital had it removed the guy was fine but still oblivious to how it got there.
Thats not my best example just the first one that came to mind.
What's your story??

2006-07-07 15:04:29 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-07 14:54:24 · 10 answers · asked by Kooties 5

I mean really... since we don't know which one came first... I mean I don't... so now the question is which one would I rather be... and personally I think I would rather be the egg cause if I'm all ready the chicken someone might want my legs let alone my breast OH WAIT!! if I'm the egg someone might want to scramble me and put me over some nasty sausage!! ~ runs to hide herself ~

2006-07-07 14:51:13 · 10 answers · asked by Zinnina 3

I walked outside. I looked up in the sky. _____________._________________.

2006-07-07 14:48:50 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-07 14:35:44 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-07 14:30:27 · 3 answers · asked by skinny 1

1 page yourself over the intercom dont disguise your voice
2 make up nicknames for all your co workers and refer to them only by these names thats a good point sparky no im sorry im going to have to disagree with you there chachi
3 put up mosquito netting around your cubicle
4 arrive at a meeting say your sorry but you didnt have time for lunch and your going to nibble during the meeting during the meeting eat 5 entire raw potatoes
5 insist that you e mail addrese be zena_goddes_of_fire@companyname.com
6 every time someone asks you to do something ask them if they want fries with that
7 encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing
8 put your waste paper basket on your desk label it in
9 determine how many cups of coffee is "to" many
10 develop an unnatural fear of staplers
11 for a relaxing break get away from it all with a mask and snorkel in the fish tank if no 1 notices take out your snorkel and see how many fish you catch in your mouth

2006-07-07 14:20:51 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

I'ts your dentist that tells you

2006-07-07 13:46:52 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

Can God microwave a burrito so hot he himself cannot eat it?

2006-07-07 13:45:59 · 46 answers · asked by jjr3987 1

10 pts to the best

2006-07-07 13:31:50 · 15 answers · asked by tatortot 2

he sits on a throne tapping his bat. he is no king- but he has much honor.


(can be a female also)

2006-07-07 13:16:28 · 11 answers · asked by ♥michele♥ 7

2006-07-07 13:15:51 · 27 answers · asked by Jason 3

These 2 southern bells (lets call them Sandy and Candy) are sitting around talking one day about Sandy's trip to new york city.
Sandy: You know what they have up there in that new your?
Candy: What could they possible have?
Sandy: They have women that kisses other women parts!
Candy: Oh my what do they call them?
Sandy: They call them Lesbeians!
Candy: What else do they have up there?
Sandy: They have men that kisses other mens parts!
Candy: What are they?
Sandy: They call them Gay!
Candy: Oh my my what else?
Sandy: They have men that kisses womens parts!
Candy: what do they call them?
Sandy: I don't know but when i caught my breath I called him Darling!

What do you think?

2006-07-07 13:13:44 · 14 answers · asked by Mandy E 1

it breaks into your home while you're there and awaits for you when you get home. if you work late, you may miss it.

(i made this up also- hope it's not too dumb)

2006-07-07 13:13:00 · 6 answers · asked by ♥michele♥ 7

You are driving a bus. You only have room for ONE more person. You pull up 2 a bus stop where there are 3 people 1. Old sick Lady 2. Your best friend 3. The girl/guy of your dreams What do u do??

2006-07-07 12:59:19 · 18 answers · asked by ? 3

y did the monkey fall out the tree?
because it was dead,,,
and y did it die?
because it fell out the tree

2006-07-07 12:43:53 · 39 answers · asked by smiley face lady 1

I'm a blonde and I just like to hear them.

2006-07-07 12:40:53 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

The 10 Most Important People in a Woman's Life
1. The doctor because he says, "Take off your clothes"
2. The dentist because he says, "Open Wide"
3. The hairdresser because he says, "Do you want it teased or blown"
4. The milkman because he says, "Do you want it in the front or in back?"
5. The Interior Decorator because he says, "Once you have it all in, you'll love it!"
6. The banker because he says,"If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest"
7. The police officer because he says, "Spread 'em"
8. The mailman because he always delivers his package.
9. The pilot because he takes off fast and then slows down.
10. The hunter because he always goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and always eats what he shoots.

2006-07-07 12:28:05 · 8 answers · asked by tybardy 4

2006-07-07 12:05:07 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

haha











a black person in the dark.

2006-07-07 11:58:49 · 16 answers · asked by T[]-[]E Wiggles 1

A group of fifth graders are talking about their christmas presents after they return to school after christmas break. One kid says, "I got a bike". Another kid says "I got some clothes and a playstation". And one of the other kids says "I got $100 from my grandma. The last kid says "I got a bike, a playstation, clothes, $500, a TV, a DVD player, a basketball hoop, a pool table, and all kinds of action figures, I feel bad for you guys for not getting as much stuff as me." Then, one of the other kids says "Yeah, but at least we don't have cancer."

2006-07-07 11:48:27 · 23 answers · asked by cornfunkel 2

what am i

2006-07-07 11:40:56 · 13 answers · asked by tybardy 4

whats the difference between a buffalo and a bison?
10 points.

2006-07-07 11:39:12 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

1st come 1st served

2006-07-07 11:27:41 · 8 answers · asked by Dahs 3

Ask me the stupidest question you can think of and if yours is the most stupidest you get 10 points.

2006-07-07 11:23:00 · 28 answers · asked by TheToolMan 2

If you just download a game for a 60 minute free trial b/c it's one of those long *** games, how do you end up winning the game?

2006-07-07 11:18:36 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-07 11:13:06 · 17 answers · asked by vava 1

Does it really depend if it's a tuesday or not?

2006-07-07 11:08:42 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

What is greater than God, more evil than the devil, the poor have it, the rich need it, and if you eat it you will die?

2006-07-07 11:05:20 · 6 answers · asked by A 3

2006-07-07 11:01:20 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous