Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

if i lock my self in a smal room will it kill me or should i have somore pickled eggs

2006-07-18 19:57:44 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

OK what's u're best punch line for this joke???

2006-07-18 19:46:02 · 15 answers · asked by Giggly Giraffe 7

2006-07-18 19:35:54 · 10 answers · asked by Giggly Giraffe 7

2006-07-18 19:31:43 · 18 answers · asked by remo 1

Previously, we saw this riddle:

Given a slow horse, what do you do to make it fast?
A: Stop feeding it. :)

Hahaha.... Ok... Now for today's riddle:

Why is the pony unable to sing?

Good luck! :)

2006-07-18 19:29:25 · 5 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

2006-07-18 19:26:07 · 16 answers · asked by Giggly Giraffe 7

Three friends went to a hotel. The bill was Rs 75/-
Each one contributed Rs.25/-.
The waiter took the bill to the cashier.
The cashier was happy & decided to give them a discount of Rs.5/- & asked the waiter to return them Rs.5/-.
Now the waiter was confused. How to distribute Rs 5 among 3 persons?
He kept Rs 2 in his pocket & gave one rupee to each one of the 3 persons.
So initially each one had contributed Rs.25. Now as they are given 1 rupee back, their contribution reduces to Rs 24.
They all contributed Rs 24 -- that is 24x3=72 & 2 rupees are in the waiters pocket.
The total becomes 74. But they had paid Rs 75.
Where is the remaining 1 rupee?

2006-07-18 19:20:37 · 16 answers · asked by sweet g 1

Little Johnny got on a bus and sat down next to a man. He noticed that the man had a strange kind of shirt collar, so he asked him, "Excuse me, sir, but why do you have your shirt collar on backwards?"
The man smiled kindly and answered, "I wear this collar because I am a father."

Little Johnny thought a second and responded, "Sir, I have a father, but he wears his collar the other way around. Why do you wear your collar so differently?"

The priest thought for a minute, and said, "I am the Father for many."

Little Johnny quickly answered, "My father, too, is the father of many. He has four sons, four daughters and many grandchildren. But he wears his collar like everyone else does. Why do you wear yours backwards?"

The priest, flustered, said impatiently, "I am the Father for hundreds and hundreds of people."
Little Johnny sat silently for a long time. As he got up to leave the bus, he leaned over to the priest and said, "Mister, maybe you should wear your pants backward

2006-07-18 19:10:16 · 15 answers · asked by Happy Alf 3

2006-07-18 19:00:24 · 12 answers · asked by internet_mack 2

a pregnat women gets shot 3 times in the stomach. each bullet went into each kid.2girls and a boy.the doctors say there okay. so when there all 10 years old, the 1rst girl came running up 2 the mom crying. she said what happend? the girl said i was taking a tinkle and i tinkled a bullet out.!!!! the mom then says i know then she told the girl the story. the same thing happened 2 the 2cond gurl. then the boy came crying 2 his mother and the mom said .....i know i know......u were taking a tinkle and u tinkled a bullet out and he said no..... i was playing with my self and i shot the dog!!!!! lol u know thats funny!!! let me know!!

2006-07-18 18:43:53 · 14 answers · asked by Jake 1

2006-07-18 18:34:02 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

It was the stir of a town when an 80 year old man gets a 20 year old man pregnat. the nurse said 2 the ma, sir how do u do it at ur age..... he said u got 2 keep that old motor running.the same thing happend next year and the nurse said wow, how do u do it at ur age? he again said ya gotta keep that old motor running! the same thing happend next year and the nurse said ''well well well u r a truly an amazing man, he said u gotta keep that old motor running!!!! the nurse then said u better change the oil cuz this ones BLACK!!!!!!!!lol tell me if its funny!!!

2006-07-18 18:18:34 · 9 answers · asked by Jake 1

Once upon a time there were two little skunks named "In" and "Out." They lived in a hollow tree with their mother. Sometime In and Out played outside, but other times they played inside. One day In was out and Out was in. Mother skunk told Out to go out and bring In in. So Out went out and in a few minutes he came in with In.

"My my, Out," she said, "How did you find In so quickly?"

Out just smiled and said, "Instinct."

2006-07-18 18:13:11 · 15 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

2006-07-18 17:55:39 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous 2

2006-07-18 17:46:35 · 11 answers · asked by butterfly23 3

I think cowpies but I dunno.

2006-07-18 17:38:30 · 9 answers · asked by Golgo-13 2

2006-07-18 17:32:00 · 8 answers · asked by Golgo-13 2

2006-07-18 17:27:28 · 9 answers · asked by Golgo-13 2

Ho Chi Minh's zombie attacks, what do you do?!

2006-07-18 17:15:55 · 32 answers · asked by Golgo-13 2

I don't know what y'all gonna do with them 10 points but..

I'mma pick the cutest avatar.

Don't be Hating.

izZo..

Peace

2006-07-18 17:13:56 · 47 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-18 17:07:50 · 19 answers · asked by ₦âħí»€G 6

2006-07-18 17:04:37 · 15 answers · asked by ₦âħí»€G 6

Check it out:
http://j-walkblog.com/index.php?/weblog/posts/blond_joke/

2006-07-18 16:57:15 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

Bad news is the Martians have landed.

The good news is they PEE gasoline

2006-07-18 16:51:56 · 8 answers · asked by blackjack911 2

Three men lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told them that they could live if they passed a trial. The first step of the trial was to enter the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So, all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said, “I brought ten apples.” The king then explained, “Next, you have to shove the fruits up your butt without so much as an expression on your face, or you’ll be eaten.” The first apple went in, but on the second he winced in pain, and was killed.

The second one arrived, and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy.

1…2…3…7…8…and on the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter, and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, “Why did you laugh? You almost got away with it!”

The second one replied, “I couldn’t help it, I saw the third guy coming with 10 pineapples.”

2006-07-18 16:45:30 · 23 answers · asked by Romeo 2

Willys cynical thought for the day;

Remember everybody; this is life no one can freaking get out of it alive!

For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep, not enough sunshine, too much pressure from my job, earwax build-up, poor blood or anything else I could think of.

But now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked.

Here's why:. . The population of this country is 273 million.

140 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school. Which leaves 48 million to do the work.

Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government. Leaving 19
million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden.

Which leaves 16.2 million to do the work

Take from that total the 14.8 million people who work for state and city governments.

And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.

Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And there you are sitting on your ***, at your computer, reading jokes.

Nice. Real nice.

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

2006-07-18 16:42:07 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

Here is mine:

What is the big deal about ethnic cleansing in Africa?
I think personal hygene is important, no matter what race you are!

2006-07-18 16:38:04 · 5 answers · asked by athorgarak 4

Along the lines of "here are the bones of miss martha jones, the gates of hell will spare her -- born a virgin, died a virgin - no hits, no runs no errors!"

2006-07-18 16:33:39 · 2 answers · asked by amuse4you 4

Fill in the blank. Can y'all?

2006-07-18 16:25:54 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous

I like Sally Little riddles, do you like them too? You know. Sally Little is the little girl that likes somethings but not others. My last Sally Little riddle was surprisingly well received, tho perhaps not for the riddle itself hehe. So here is another one. It's about names that Polly Little likes or doesn't like.

Sally Little likes some names.
She likes Louis, but not Napoleon
She likes Patrick, but not Sean
She likes John, but not Jack
She likes Joan, but not Jill

Can you tell me what other names she likes?
And what kind of names she truly likes?
Incidentally and sadly, she doesn't like her own name much :(

2006-07-18 16:20:49 · 7 answers · asked by iamigloo 6