Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

2006-06-20 13:16:33 · 4 answers · asked by I_love_f.o.b 1

simple things like " a man walks into a bar, & says ow"

2006-06-20 13:11:44 · 16 answers · asked by Spliffwizard 2

Any type of joke! Type it down!

2006-06-20 13:08:20 · 10 answers · asked by Ez E 2

2006-06-20 13:00:02 · 24 answers · asked by MojoMan 6

2006-06-20 12:59:03 · 23 answers · asked by MojoMan 6

Question Inspired by Agrippina

2006-06-20 12:57:14 · 10 answers · asked by MojoMan 6

does anyone have any good jokes if so send them to me here

2006-06-20 12:47:53 · 30 answers · asked by tubulartweety 2

Petrified- Mike Shinoda (Fort Minor)

Why IS everybody so petrified in the song?

(And they said there was nothing like a dumb question) or is it a good question?

2006-06-20 12:18:23 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

One grandfather, one grandmother, two fathers, two mothers, four children, three grandchildren, one brother, two sisters, two sons, two daughters, one father-in-law, one mother-in-law and one daughter-in-law attended a family reunion. If both halves of each relationship attended (i.e., the father and the son), how many people showed up?

2006-06-20 12:02:41 · 7 answers · asked by mama3x 3

2006-06-20 12:02:41 · 13 answers · asked by c.j. 1

"Smash! There goes your laptop! My mistake"

2006-06-20 12:01:12 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. "Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent."

"One penny?!" exclaimed the guy.

The barman replied, "Yes."

So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?"

"Certainly sir," replies the bartender, "but all that comes to real money."

"How much money?" inquires the guy.

"Four cents," he replies.

"Four cents?!" exclaims the guy.

"Where's the guy who owns this place?"

The barman replies, "Upstairs with my wife."

The guy says, "What's he doing with your wife?"

The bartender replies, "Same as what I'm doing to his business."

2006-06-20 11:51:35 · 19 answers · asked by ♠Tatsuko♠ 2

Why you should never take your husband shopping with you.

Letter:

Mrs. Fenton,

Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with us unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offenses over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras.

MEMO Re: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse/partner is shopping:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares.....and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

(And; last, but not least!)

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

2006-06-20 11:48:50 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-20 11:43:44 · 38 answers · asked by ? 4

(#3)This is an ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadianauthorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of naval Operations 10-10-95.
Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again,
divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN. THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE
DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE TAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETYOF THIS SHIP.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

2006-06-20 11:41:40 · 10 answers · asked by jesus_freak_forever3days2grace 3

2006-06-20 11:31:55 · 25 answers · asked by Midnight Dynamo 3

pope john paul had it, but he didnt use it .

arnold swazzneger has a long one.

maddona doesnt have it!

what is it?

first one to get it gets ten extra points!!

2006-06-20 11:26:44 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-20 11:20:19 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

Consider this…

A new building has just been built containing 100 different rooms. A painter was hired to paint the numbers 1 to 100 on the doors. If each door is numbered once with a number counting from 1 to 100, how many times will the painter have to paint the number 9?

Give me the total times 9 is painted and (if your really nice) list them for me.

2006-06-20 11:13:40 · 20 answers · asked by Answers Anyone 4

stniop01ehtnowevahi

2006-06-20 10:55:15 · 27 answers · asked by AFTP 2

What $ex position creates ugly babies?
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Go ask yo moma!

2006-06-20 10:54:12 · 8 answers · asked by Just Me 3

try to make me laugh and you'll get 10 points, just answer those questions:
1. what is the most funny question you've ever found on yahoo! answers?
2. what is the most ridiculous phobia out there.
3. what is the most stupid celeb.-baby name?
4. tell me a joke!!!
5. you're done!!!

2006-06-20 10:48:29 · 18 answers · asked by That Guy! 3

2006-06-20 10:41:03 · 8 answers · asked by Evey 6

there's a person on a skyscraper and he/she is ready to jump through the window and commit suicide. when he/she finally jumps the phone starts ringing and he/ she says "f*uck not nowwwwwwwww!"
what could have happened to this person?

2006-06-20 10:32:19 · 7 answers · asked by NikGeo 2

Think your pretty good? Well let’s see - answer me this…

If you turn a right-hand glove inside out and put it on your left hand, where will the palm of the glove be on your left hand? Explain?

2006-06-20 10:32:11 · 7 answers · asked by Answers Anyone 4

Umm.. Well any opinion will do, this question's been bugging me for a long time...a long time. Damn you Chuck Norris, DAMN YOU!

2006-06-20 10:28:24 · 17 answers · asked by Zayne I 1

God is sitting in Heaven when a scientist says to Him,
"Lord, we don't need You anymore. Science has finally
figured out a way to create life out of nothing. In other
words, we can now do what You did in the 'beginning'."

"Oh, is that so? Tell Me..." replies God.

'Well, " says the scientist, "we can take dirt and form
it into the likeness of You and breathe life into it, thus
creating man."

"Well, that's interesting . Show Me."

So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold
the soil.

"Oh no, no, no..." interrupts God,

( I love this )

"Get your own dirt."

2006-06-20 09:52:02 · 5 answers · asked by Starwyn 3

2006-06-20 09:45:25 · 19 answers · asked by Kendal 2

2006-06-20 09:43:47 · 11 answers · asked by elbis 2

Okay This contest is on spazz. If you don't know what it is then I'll tell you. It is when you are random and crazy. I am like the spazz queen and I was wondering if any one is as spazzy as me. I will give you ten points if you win. I am doing this mainly so i can crack up. Anyways. Say an answer to this question that is as spazzy as posible.


What is wrong with a chicken when a dodo bird falls to the ground because there is a boat on the side of the road?

2006-06-20 09:15:04 · 19 answers · asked by KK gal 1