Why you should never take your husband shopping with you.
Letter:
Mrs. Fenton,
Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with us unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offenses over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras.
MEMO Re: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse/partner is shopping:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares.....and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
(And; last, but not least!)
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
2006-06-20 11:48:50 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
if n-e-one wud like n-e-more jokes, feel free to e-mail me and i'll try to send you some that will make you laugh! or at least giggle!
2006-06-20 11:55:56 · update #1
oh my e-mail is baby_boo_10101@yahoo.com
2006-06-20 11:57:41 · update #2
Got this in an email last week...hilarious! I may try some of them.
2006-06-20 11:50:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny
2006-06-20 12:07:37 · answer #2 · answered by SpideR 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who supplies a **** what the different women persons needs and who cares if shell flow away him if u do. he's not something yet a dogs. unload his cheating ***. U comprehend 4 particular that hell save cheating. he's a loser & no female merits that. Ur extra clever than him & he's not sturdy adequate. Have some back bone & tell him 2 **** off
2016-10-31 05:10:21 · answer #3 · answered by shuey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank you for sharing this treasure of life, it has changed my life. (I was late for work and they fired me and now I have no way of possibly sustaining myself or the other people that depend on me, and the people that depend on them)
:D
Hey, you missed one!!
16. December 29: Practiced sex reasigment surgery on an unsuspecting costumer
2006-06-21 06:59:39 · answer #4 · answered by its just me!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i love it! it's great. me and my friends used to push eachother around in carts and ride the little tricycles around. i actually got kicked out of walmart once... i'm better now that i've grown up a little and i haven't practiced such antics since. but i'm sure one of these days i'll get a phone call from wal mart telling me to pick up my son cuz he got kicked out. lol.
2006-06-20 11:58:15 · answer #5 · answered by 1 Hott Mami 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope this is true, and I would love to meet the person who has done all this. Hilarious. I just may try some too.
2006-06-20 11:54:42 · answer #6 · answered by ohwelliguessnoprofile 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loved it, loved it, loved it! I am STILL giggling!!!!! The tomato juice trail leading to the restrooms was the BEST! (I hope my boyfriend never sees this... he would no doubt try some of them!)
2006-06-20 13:01:46 · answer #7 · answered by Jarri 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i belive i have # 16 from personal experince.
Decemer 26: Turned all the arms of manikans in the clothing section so they would give the Nazi salute.
2006-06-20 12:57:37 · answer #8 · answered by iarewill 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should've sent them a Thank-you note back, attached with his obituary
2006-06-20 12:00:18 · answer #9 · answered by shawnthavirgo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
*laughs for about 10 minutes straight*
2006-06-20 12:10:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋