Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

Yamster: http://360.yahoo.com/profile-d8pH0dcoRKeB12yOcnUQp.9VCFos

Feel free to make your own Yahoo! Answers Jokes. Keep it clean, this should be fun!

2006-06-21 01:36:32 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Rot tot tote... a wee, wee man in a red, red coat. With a staff in his hand and a stone in his throat, if you tell me this riddle I'll give you a groat!

(Erm... I don't have a groat to give, really. ;) I am recalling the riddle as best I can from memory... it appeared in a Beatrix Potter tale!)

2006-06-21 00:54:13 · 18 answers · asked by JStrat 6

inspite of all the success,i think his songs are too bad. than why is he appreciated by music freaks?

2006-06-21 00:51:11 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

my boyfriend once asked me to 'do some beauty therapy on his mum' (im a therapist) i said yea what does she want done? duno she wants it on her face er what about a manicure!! lol

he has also said that if you dont blink you will die??? i said no that wont happen YES he replied (he was quite adament) well i cracked up and asked him how this could be true. he reliased he had said sumin stupid but instead of saying maybe not he continued to say well if you dont blink your eyes will dry up and you will go blind and walk into the road and get hit by bus! lol!!!

2006-06-21 00:45:28 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

walk on our heads ???

2006-06-21 00:39:50 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous

Don't be afraid, just post the funniest joke you've ever heard...

2006-06-20 23:29:38 · 10 answers · asked by Videodrome 2

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. In fact, he is so proud of himself and his ability to impregnate that he starts referring to his wife as "Mother of Six" despite her constant objections.

One night, they get a chance to leave the kids behind with a sitter and go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home, Mother of Six?"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

2006-06-20 23:02:41 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Does it mean time has stopped ???? if yes then how can i check....???

2006-06-20 22:47:42 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous

Urgent!

2006-06-20 22:37:45 · 44 answers · asked by Anonymous

ant waz bathing totlly nude without even bikini ..elephant saw her rubbing her boobs he could not stop her he went to her n raped her thrice now she is pregnant ...she wants justice wat shold she do ?

2006-06-20 22:32:02 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home having a smoke. When it started to rain, one of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking

Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age) but very delicately asks her what size.

"Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel"

The pharmacist fainted.

2006-06-20 21:34:23 · 16 answers · asked by Hakit. 4

my question is u r male or female? not sex....

2006-06-20 21:31:43 · 28 answers · asked by Born Wild 2

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about 10. Why?

2006-06-20 21:28:42 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

the malaysians must know that.it is a reptile

2006-06-20 21:26:26 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

A woman's son gets married. The woman leaves the couple alone for a few weeks to enjoy their honeymoon. On the fourth week, she goes to their house...Her new daughter-in-law opens the door NAKED...The mother-in-law says,"Why did you open the door naked?" the daughter-in-law says, "I thought you were my husband, your son. He likes me to greet him at the end of his workday like this. We call this his WELCOME-HOME DRESS!!"
The mother-in-law eventually leaves, goes home and decides to try it out on her husband...When her husband comes home, she opens the door NAKED...The husband says,"What are you doing? You're naked!" She says,"This is your Welcome-Home Dress!" The husband looks at her up-and-down and says, "NEEDS IRONING!!!!!!!!!"

2006-06-20 21:24:42 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

I'm eating pizza now and was wondering what your favorite kind is :)

2006-06-20 21:11:14 · 21 answers · asked by ♥Gilmore♥ 5

No offence to the super-BABy (saale takle tu bhi krish jaisi movie bana) and to i_am_not_GB.

ok, try to solve this riddle:
"I am two-faced but bear only one, I have no legs but travel widely. Men spill much blood over me, kings leave there imprint on me. I have greatest power when given away, yet lust for me keeps me locked away. What am I? "

2006-06-20 21:00:23 · 10 answers · asked by ariesera 3

Coz mine does sometimes. But thats ok, right?

2006-06-20 20:56:37 · 19 answers · asked by Purplgirl 5

2006-06-20 20:55:31 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

A blonde walks into a bar after work and sits next to man and orders a drink. Their watching the news about this girl thats going to jump of a bridge. The man says to the blonde I bet you $20 that she'll jump. The blonde says ok I bet you $20 she won't jump. So they watch the story and sure enough she jumps. The blonde says here your $20. The man goes I can't take your money, I cheated...I watched it on the 5 o'clock news. The blonde says I did too but i didn't think she would do it again!

2006-06-20 20:44:08 · 20 answers · asked by ♥Gilmore♥ 5

Invisible if i close my eyes ????

2006-06-20 20:36:27 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous

Ok you did so well with my "There was a young woman from France...." limerick that I thought I'd get some more free laughs with this one !!

2006-06-20 20:36:04 · 6 answers · asked by Spook 3

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, "...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'"

The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?"

One little boy raised his hand and said, "I know"..he said 'Holy ****! A talking pig!'"

Grandpa and granddaugher were sitting talking when she asked, "Did God make you, Grandpa?"
"Yes, God made me," the grandfather answered. A few minutes later, the little girl asked him, "Did God make me too?"
"Yes, He did," the older man answered. For a few minutes, the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa, as well as her own reflection in the mirror, while her grandfather wondered what was running through her mind. At last she spoke up. "You know, Grandpa," she said, "God's doing a lot better job lately."

2006-06-20 20:31:15 · 6 answers · asked by Jasmine B 3

first to complete it gets 10 pts! yay more more more easy points yay!

A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts...

2006-06-20 20:24:48 · 7 answers · asked by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7

A man with a winking problem is applying for a
position as a sales representative for a large
firm.

The interviewer looks over his papers and says,
"This is phenomenal. You've graduated from the
best schools; your recommendations are wonderful,
and your experience is unparalleled.

Normally, we'd hire you without a second thought.
However, a sales representative has a highly
visible position, and we're afraid that your
constant winking will scare off potential
customers. I'm sorry....we can't hire you."

"But wait," he said. "If I take two aspirin, I'll
stop winking!"

"Really? Great! Show me!"

So the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket
and begins pulling out all sorts of condoms: red
condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms, flavored
condoms; finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet
of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills,
and stops winking.

"Well," said the interviewer, "that's all well and
good, but this is a respectable company, and we
will not have our employees womanizing all over
the country!"

"Womanizing? What do you mean? I'm a happily
married man!"

"Well then, how do you explain all these condoms?"

"Oh, that," he sighed. "Have you ever walked into
a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?"

2006-06-20 20:24:34 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-20 20:20:09 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Last time, we saw this riddle:

Why do cars smell so bad?
A: Because they are full of gas!

Ugh! Lol. Now for today's riddle:

What did the doctor say when a guy came in to complain about his shrinking problem?

Have fun! :)

2006-06-20 19:25:15 · 19 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

I'll tell you tommorrow

2006-06-20 19:21:19 · 13 answers · asked by Spinning Times LLC 3

he picks up the snail and throws it, three years later , he get another knock at the door , answers and the snail says, hey what was that for

2006-06-20 19:19:17 · 12 answers · asked by anissia 6

where can i get the blue collar comedy tour...on dvd or just the individual dvd's of each of the guys??
GIT R DONE!!!

2006-06-20 19:05:47 · 10 answers · asked by the quiet one 5