Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=9533477066&rd=1&sspagename=STRK%3AMESE%3AIT&rd=1. SO FUNNY!!!

2006-06-21 06:14:57 · 15 answers · asked by ahirock9 1

2006-06-21 06:07:19 · 6 answers · asked by popcorn 1

a man and his dog were walking down the street the man rode, yet walked. what is the dog's name?

2006-06-21 06:05:15 · 20 answers · asked by jesus_freak_forever3days2grace 3

A sick fortune teller goes to the doctors with hard skin on her feet, feeling tired and also had bad breath.
The doctors diagnosis was.

Super callous, fragile mystic, septic hallytosis

2006-06-21 06:04:36 · 7 answers · asked by cazzcull 2

Our toes,our noses
Take hold on the loam,
Acquire the air.
Nobody sees us,
Stops us,betrays us
The small grains make room.
Soft fist insist on
Heaving the needles,
The leafy bedding,
Even the paving.
Our hammers,our rams,
Earless & eyeless,
Perfectly voiceless,
Widen the crannies,
Shoulder through holes. We
Diet on water,
On crumbs of shadow,
Blandmannered,asking
Little or nothing.
So many of us!
So many of us!
We are shelves,we are
Tables,we are meek
We are edible,
Nudgers & shovers
In spite of ourselves.
Our kind multiplies:
We shall by morning
Inherit the earth.
Our foots in the door.

2006-06-21 05:58:51 · 10 answers · asked by Cognito 3

How to write eleven thousand eleven hunder and eleven in figures??? numeric..

2006-06-21 05:43:16 · 10 answers · asked by dinesh k 1

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=9533477066&rd=1&sspagename=STRK%3AMESE%3AIT&rd=1. Type it in its so funny.

2006-06-21 05:36:06 · 26 answers · asked by ahirock9 1

2006-06-21 05:25:03 · 13 answers · asked by Brad 1

there are three temples in a row in front of each temple there is a pond before entering the temple the person has to take a bath in the pond. The speciality of all the ponds is that if a person is carrying flowers with him and he takes a dip in the pond the number of the flowers gets doubled. A person is carrying some flowers he take a dip and offers some flowers in the first temple, then he again takes a dip and offers flowers, again the same in the third temple, the man offers equal number of flowers in all the three temples and he comes out empty handed after offering flower in the third temple, how many flowers was he carrying in the begining

2006-06-21 05:23:59 · 11 answers · asked by stone 4

2006-06-21 05:21:53 · 21 answers · asked by shadoe 1

2006-06-21 05:19:37 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

There was a family, a husband and wife, 3 kids, and a maid. On sunday morning, the husband was murdered. The wife was making breakfast, 2 kids were eating breakfast , one kid was sleeping, and the maid was out getting the mail. Who killed him and why?

2006-06-21 05:05:37 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

figure what this phrase says, write how did u get it and win 10 pts:

zpv ibwf bssbohfe uijt qisbtf, zpv ibwf xpo uif 10 qut

2006-06-21 05:05:16 · 9 answers · asked by AFTP 2

2006-06-21 04:57:39 · 19 answers · asked by spotted 1

2 farmers meet at an intersection on a country road. both farmers have a truckload of pigs each. The first farmer says to the second, "If you give me one of your pigs, then I'll have twice as many pigs as you." The second farmer replies, "True, but if you give me one of your pigs, we'll both have the same amount." How many pigs did each farmer have?

2006-06-21 04:41:54 · 32 answers · asked by sberman689 1

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:

"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."

"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."

The defendant smiled. And, with his lawyer's assistance, he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench and walked out.

2006-06-21 04:37:37 · 18 answers · asked by tone 4

At a southern university, students in the psychology program were attending their first class on emotional extremes.
"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "what is the opposite of joy?"

"Sadness," said the student.

"And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma.

"Elation," she said.

"And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "what about the opposite of woe?"

The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be 'giddy up' ".

2006-06-21 04:28:45 · 20 answers · asked by tone 4

Is that me?.......is that u? Who who who who

2006-06-21 04:27:11 · 13 answers · asked by F.B.I. 4

At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS president Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story:
On March 23, 1994, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. The decedent had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide.

He left a note to that effect indicating his despondency. As he fell past the ninth floor, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the decedent was aware that a safety net had been installed just below at the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.

Ordinarily, Dr. Mills continued, "a person who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended" is still defined as committing suicide. Mr. Opus was shot on the way to certain death nine stories below at street level, but his suicide attempt probably would not have been successful because of the safety net. This caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands.

The room on the ninth floor from whence the shotgun blast emanated was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously, and he was threatening her with a shotgun. The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window striking Mr. Opus.

When one intends to kill subject A, but kills subject B in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject B. When confronted with the murder charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant. They both said they thought the shotgun was unloaded. The old man said it was his long standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident, that is, the gun had been accidentally loaded.

The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother.

The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.

Now comes the exquisite twist. Further investigation revealed that the son was in fact Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over both the loss of his financial support and the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten-story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth-story window. The son had actually murdered himself, so the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.

2006-06-21 04:23:33 · 23 answers · asked by tone 4

2006-06-21 04:21:40 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

meep!

or not

2006-06-21 04:10:53 · 51 answers · asked by Anonymous

Mine is, "Yo momma's so fat, when she wears Nike's, they say Nickelodeon!"

2006-06-21 03:43:54 · 22 answers · asked by ndtaya 6

A boy is born in 1978 but today is his 18th birthday how is that?

2006-06-21 03:43:15 · 17 answers · asked by basktball_qt 2

2006-06-21 03:29:12 · 6 answers · asked by allien005 1

Ok theres a son and a father in the car .. they get into an accident they are both rushed to the hospital.. the boy is taken into surgery and the doctor says i cant operate on this boy he is my son .... Explain ....

2006-06-21 03:14:45 · 22 answers · asked by ♥ Vanessa ♥ 2

Newspaper add:
Vacancy for a Manager in a electronics company,
Ring this phone no.123456567, If anyone picks up,don't come for interview,but if nobody answers,pls do come for interview

Is it good??

2006-06-21 02:59:48 · 10 answers · asked by webmas2004 1

2006-06-21 02:57:46 · 11 answers · asked by sue-sue 7

2006-06-21 02:44:55 · 9 answers · asked by s 1

Is ur messenger working.........?

2006-06-21 01:55:14 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-21 01:40:37 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous