dumbest thing you've ever heard go on give us a larf?

Question

my boyfriend once asked me to 'do some beauty therapy on his mum' (im a therapist) i said yea what does she want done? duno she wants it on her face er what about a manicure!! lol

he has also said that if you dont blink you will die??? i said no that wont happen YES he replied (he was quite adament) well i cracked up and asked him how this could be true. he reliased he had said sumin stupid but instead of saying maybe not he continued to say well if you dont blink your eyes will dry up and you will go blind and walk into the road and get hit by bus! lol!!!

for god sake how many people want to comment on the way i spelt laugh, and as for the twit who found it hard to figure out the Q just for that fact i spelt laugh larf. who cares? not me!

Answer 1

#1 would be people that are answering this question with the response having to do with spelling laugh. Da, she knew what she typed!

Blue collar comedy cracks me up, but then again I'm a redneck. When they do their "here's your sign" routine I almost drive off the road.
Here you go, I made one up from my personal experience just this morning:
I had just entered the elevator on the ground floor (G,1,2, or 3) with another person. I pushed 3 and asked them which floor, they responded 2. Then asked, "Oh you're going up too?" Here's your sign!
If you don't get it - Here's your sign!

Answer 2

U say larf the way it is spelt, it is meant to b funny!! Lighten up spellcheckers!! Right:
I knew someone who asked if bulls are born with the ring already in their nose?!
My friend knows someone who wanted to complain about her new kitchen sink taps coz they didn't match, No not design COLOUR I.E Red for hot Blue for cold!!!! This had to be explained very slowly to her.
The same person went into her bedroom to look at her hair do in the mirror, satisfied with the front, she took the mirror off the wall to look at the back and couldn't understand why she couldn't see anything when she turned her back to the wall with the mirror in front of her! HAHA

Answer 3

I grew up in Connecticut and later moved out to California. A new friend who had noticed my accent asked where I was from. I told him I was from New England.

He looked puzzled. He asked, "Is that part of England?" Trying not to roll my eyes, I said, "No, it's part of the United States." He still looked confused. "Is it an island?" he asked next. Exasperated, I had to actually explain very carefully the concept that there are six states in the northeast referred to as a group that way.

But I got a good laugh out of it when I told my friends back home!

Answer 4

while i replace into at analyzing pageant some years in the past,( it truly is located close to a river which has many ducks and swans)... at one factor in the process the pageant a flock of ducks flew over us, 2 women have been chatting interior the tent next to us and.. female a million mentioned :"wow what are they?" female 2 actually mentioned " it truly is a flock of chickens!" this is maximum probable the dumbest ingredient I even have ever heard!

Answer 5

My friend had just started going out with someone and it was getting close to her birthday, he asked his other mate what he should get her, the mate said 'buy her some nice flowers, he said 'I don't know where she lives' The mate said ' get her address' and he said...
I don't know what size she is!!! LLF!!!!!


Another one. My female friend was watching a wanted TV program one day and said to her b/f, he looks like he works for the MFI!!! (she meant mi5)!!!

I have a bunch of them cause I've got a few mates that talk before they think!!! LOL


I also HONESTLY used to believe that Lamb we eat came from a different part of a sheep. You know like Pork and Bacon and stuff all comes from different parts of a pig!!! I know It sounds stupid but hey - that's me.!!! At least we can laugh at ourselves!!!

Answer 6

one of my uncle who just moved to this country got his license and started driving. some of the rules here in the US are different from the ones we have in our country. so, he went to the grocery and dropped of my auntie, while he parked somewhere close to the grocery, while he sat in the car and waited -- so this was considered "standing" -- a police officer came and there happens to be a "no standing sign" to where he's parked at. the police officer asks him "sir, do you know there is a 'no standing' sign over here?" my uncle said "But officer! im not standing up?! im sitting down!"

Answer 7

My mom is nuts and constantly wants attentions. One day she called me at my house and told me she went completely deaf....(yeah I know). That not being the end of it, I asked her, "Mom if you are completely deaf all of a sudden, how are we talking on the phone?" Her response to me was (no joke), "I read lips."
I hung up and shook my head in shame.....I cannot believe I have some of her genes.

Answer 8

a teacher sayin
form a straight circle [to play throw ball]
give me a red pen of any color
the principle just passed away[when the principle passed by the class room]

Answer 9

I company(soft drink business) in Austria went bust because it launched a new "cool drink for the cool people". It was tap-water! (Yes, this is TRUE!)

Answer 10

oooops! forgot to larf. What the heck is larf?