There was a young man from Calcutta.......?

Question

Ok you did so well with my "There was a young woman from France...." limerick that I thought I'd get some more free laughs with this one !!

Answer 1

There was a young man from Calcutta
Who had the most terrible stutter
Try as he might
He always talked shite
And people thought he was a nutter.

There was a young man from Calcutta
Who had a fixation with butter
He asked of his wife
"spread it on with a knife"
and now he lives out in the gutter

Answer 2

There was a young man from Darjeeling
Who got on a bus, bound for Ealing
The notice he saw
said "Don't spit on the floor"
So he leaned back and spat on the ceiling.

There was a young fellow called Fisk
Who at fencing was extremely brisk
Through the speed of his action
Fitzgerald's Contraction
Reduced his epee to a disc.

A collier from up by the Tyne
Wrote poems when he were down t'mine
The standard of verse
Went from awful to worse
'Cos he never quite managed to fit all the words that he needed on the last line.

Answer 3

There was a young man from Calcutta
Who suddenly started to splutter
Then he gave out a cough
And his nose fell off
And landed in the butter.

Answer 4

Who had nothing to say, but some mutter. So nobody knew, what he wanted to do. But everyone gave him a dollar. :)

Answer 5

who while playing golf lost his putta
he cursed the sky and wondered why
golfers are really suckas

Answer 6

.. who nobody knew.