Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

2006-06-11 18:38:39 · 8 answers · asked by mike eugene bato from philippine 1

So, why did the chicken cross the road?

2006-06-11 18:33:38 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

need some good might b a redneck if......jokes! 10 pts 2 the best answer!

2006-06-11 18:15:58 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He
never met my sister. Yours sincerely, Arnold.
Age 8, Nashville.


Dear Pastor, Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a good boy all week. I am Peter Peterson. Sincerely, Pete.
Age 9, Phoenix


Dear Pastor, My father should be a minister. Every day he gives us a sermon about something. Robert Anderson.
Age 11, Miami



Dear Pastor, I'm sorry I can't leave more money in the plate, but my father didn't give me a raise in my allowance. Could you have a sermon about a raise in my allowance? Love, Patty.
Age 10, New Haven


Dear Pastor, My mother is very religious. She goes to play bingo at church every week even if she has a cold. Yours truly, Annette.
Age 9, Albany


Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my brother won't be there. Stephen.
Age 8, Chicago


Dear Pastor, I think a lot more people would come to your church if you moved it to Disneyland. Loreen.
Age 9

2006-06-11 17:55:15 · 5 answers · asked by Ruthie1959 6

IRISH BOY IN CONFESSION
Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman. Is that you, little Timmy O'Donnel? Yes, Father, it is. And who was the woman you were with? I can't be tellin' you, Father. Don't want to ruin her reputation. Well, Timmy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley? I cannot say. Was it Patricia Kelly? I'll never tell. Was it Sheila O'Brien? I'm sorry, but I cannot name her. Was it Kathleen Morgan? My lips are sealed. Was it Fiona Grogan, then? Please, Father, I cannot tell you. The priest sighs in frustration. You're a steadfast lad, Timmy O'Donnel, and I admire that. But you've sinned, and you must atone. You cannot attend church mass for three months. Be off with you now. Timmy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers, What'd you get? Three months' vacation and five good leads.

2006-06-11 17:46:54 · 12 answers · asked by joann_xvi 4

"brothers and sisters i have none,but this man's father is my father's son"....who is this man in the picture?

2006-06-11 17:44:13 · 48 answers · asked by ajentsm 2

i have three fvorite colors and i want you to name all three....i will give you a hint one of them are blue

2006-06-11 16:46:13 · 20 answers · asked by kai b 1

We have tried not doing a number of things not limited to the misuse of condoms.

2006-06-11 16:30:48 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous

and asks for a glass of water. The bartender then pulls out a gun and points it at him. The man says thank u and leaves. Why did he do that?

2006-06-11 16:28:46 · 15 answers · asked by Alwayz_FlyBoi 2

An item in today's Bangkok Post.
' A Spike Mulligan joke was the most popular of 40,000 jokes submitted and voted on over Internet by 300,000 people from 60 nations.
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "just take it easy. I can help. First let's make sure he's dead."
There is silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?
This joke is displayed on www.laughlab.co.uk/winner.html which did the scientific study'.
(click on to it. I did. It has the runners-up and other jokes from many countries)

2006-06-11 16:11:47 · 4 answers · asked by Buck 5

What is the funniest thing you ever saw or heard?

2006-06-11 16:06:21 · 10 answers · asked by fake f 1

"NICKELBACK LYRICS

Photograph


Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
How did our eyes get so red
And what the hell is on Joey's head"

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

i think it's a tumor, what do you think?

looking for your funniest answer.

2006-06-11 16:05:39 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous

i dunno... this always made me laugh... but i never really tried to answer it...

2006-06-11 15:48:51 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-11 15:40:55 · 15 answers · asked by agoodprsn 2

TWIN TOWER ATTACKS ON 9/11


type Q33 NY on a word document, set the font to 48 and wingdings.

2006-06-11 15:34:31 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

Tell me where you at. I just wanted to know.

2006-06-11 15:26:33 · 14 answers · asked by tinybuddafly 3

2006-06-11 15:15:54 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

Like pinching a log, or pushing brown.

2006-06-11 15:11:39 · 12 answers · asked by shatteredfear 2

2006-06-11 15:06:27 · 9 answers · asked by Wandering Flame 1

2006-06-11 15:03:27 · 15 answers · asked by jinn_starr 1

Forget about what I said... Could you just click on this link so I don't have to type. I'm just wondering...

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060611185253AAAvsMt&pa=FZB6NXXtFWMW0cLWwu8a8MrMT.GjTbARV1FC.PA18gFipnY.JL4-

2006-06-11 15:01:30 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous

I just found out what the first hockey pucks were made of... I won't spoil the surprise, but, then I started thinking about all these hockey players with missing teeth, from getting hit in the face by hockey pucks, and...

I'm sure somebody here has to know... if not, come back again, in a day or two, and I'll tell you. But not today.

And, I know, I know, I should have posted this in Hockey, but it's just too funny for the sports buffs, I'd rather put it here. Maybe, to get the answer, YOU could post it in Hockey...

2006-06-11 14:47:22 · 7 answers · asked by 42ITUS™ 7

On a Saturday night several weeks ago, this pastor was working late, and decided to call his wife before he left for home. It was about 10:00 PM, but his wife didn't answer the phone.

The pastor let the phone ring many times. He thought it was odd that she didn't answer, but decided to wrap up a few things and try again in a few minutes. When he tried again she answered right away. He asked her why she hadn't answered before, and she said that it hadn't rung at their house. They brushed it off as a fluke and went on their merry ways.

The following Monday, the pastor received a call at the church office, which was the phone that he'd used that Saturday night. The man that he spoke with wanted to know why he'd called on Saturday night.

The pastor couldn't figure out what the man was talking about. Then the man said, "It rang and rang, but I didn't answer." The pastor remembered the mishap and apologized for disturbing him, explaining that he'd intended to call his wife. The man said, "That's, OK. Let me tell you my story.


You see, I was planning to commit suicide on Saturday night, but before I did, I prayed, 'God if you're there, and you don't want me to do this, give me a sign now.' At that point my phone started to ring. I looked at the caller ID, and it said, 'Almighty God'. I was afraid to answer!"


The reason why it showed on the man's caller ID that the call came from "Almighty God" is because the church that the pastor attends is called Almighty God Tabernacle!!

2006-06-11 14:39:57 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous

e mail or get me on yahoo. mally_turner@hotmail.com Or yahoo both the same

2006-06-11 14:01:15 · 7 answers · asked by A man of constant sorrow 1

A boy was at a carnival and went to a booth where a man said to the boy, "If I write your exact weight on this piece of paper then you have to give me $50, but if I cannot, I will pay you $50."

The boy looked around and saw no scale so he agrees, thinking no matter what the carny writes he'll just say he weighs more or less.

In the end the boy ended up paying the man $50.



The question is: How did the man win the bet?

2006-06-11 13:59:00 · 8 answers · asked by dippie. 3

If I gave you 3 pennies to spend right now, what would you do? The only catch was that you had to spend it all (every cent) in 1 hour. What would you spend it on???

2006-06-11 13:46:40 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-11 13:28:31 · 10 answers · asked by babygirl 1

2006-06-11 13:16:10 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

Whats bigger than God.
Whats more evil than Satan.
Rich people dont want it.
Poor people have it.
If u eat it, you'll die.

What is it?

2006-06-11 13:05:05 · 20 answers · asked by the d1sl0cat3r 3

2006-06-11 12:58:08 · 14 answers · asked by Quack Man 1