Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

Let's say you have $300. You go to the grocery store and take 15 pounds of apples that cost $2.23 per pound...

*tricky q* give it a try

2006-06-12 05:26:00 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

A blind sailor is rescued with his crewmates from being shipwrecked on an island with no food. One crew member died no body was found.he walked into a restaurant and ordered a bowl of Albatrose soup. He takes one sip and kills himself. Why?

2006-06-12 05:25:04 · 9 answers · asked by Tani I 1

A man is at work. He turns off the lights and falls asleep. 2 hours later he wakes up and goes home. On his way to work the next morning he buys a newspaper. He sees somthing on the front page and kills himself. Why?

2006-06-12 05:15:28 · 16 answers · asked by Tani I 1

*riddle q* give a try..

2006-06-12 05:13:09 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

The voices in my head say no but the circus midgets doing cartwheels in my back yard say yes.

2006-06-12 04:54:52 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

my name is Dynasty

2006-06-12 03:59:29 · 12 answers · asked by CoaCoa 2

The person that thinks it -doesn't have a clue. The person that writes it- doesn't have a clue either. The people that hear it - they don't understand. What is it?

2006-06-12 03:57:59 · 24 answers · asked by Nobody 2

2006-06-12 03:57:00 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

send ur answer

2006-06-12 03:54:02 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-12 03:45:04 · 8 answers · asked by Nobody 2

2006-06-12 03:39:35 · 14 answers · asked by dandon2000 1

I read a joke about a man from Minnesota and a man from Florida.

The joke was funny in itself, but being British, I didn't know if there was any significance in the two states, that made the joke more amusing.

2006-06-12 03:11:47 · 5 answers · asked by kevyn_uk 2

Alrigth

What is solid outside and liqued inside (a drink & eating thing)?

Who ever figure this out gets 10 out of 10.

2006-06-12 02:50:04 · 22 answers · asked by kabir_fiona 2

A professer from the Washington State University was doing a test on children, so he brought in a bunch of first graders then he gave each of them a lifesaver all the kids got the same color at the same time.

Red=Cherry
Green=Lime
Orange=Orange
Yellow=Lemon

Then he gave them all a honey flavored one after a while all the children couldn't figure it out so the professer gives them a hint "This is something your mommy might call your daddie"

Then one little girl looked at the professer and the other children in horror then she yells "Spit them out there assholes"

2006-06-12 02:46:15 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

A professer from the Washington State University was doing a test on children, so he brought in a bunch of first graders then he gave each of them a lifesaver all the kids got the same colour at the same time.

Red=Cherry
Green=Lime
Orange=Orange
Yellow=Lemon

Then he gave them all a honey flavored one after a while all the children couldn't figure it out so the professer gives them a hint "This is something your mommy might call your daddie"

Then one little girl looked at the professer and the other children in horror then she yells "Spit them out there assholes"

2006-06-12 02:45:28 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols. This seemed like the perfect gift. "How do I get him to sing?" The young man asked, excitedly. "Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet." was the shop owner's reply.

The shop owner held a lighted match under the parrot's left foot. Chet began to sing: "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! ..." The shop owner then held another match under the parrot's right foot. Then Chet's tune changed, and the air was filled with: " Silent Night, Holy Night..."

The young man was so impressed that he paid the shop-keeper and ran home as quickly as he could with Chet under his arm. When the wife saw her gift she was overwhelmed.

"How beautiful!" She exclaimed, "Can he talk?" "No," the young man replied, "But he can sing. Let me show you." So the young man whipped out his lighter and placed it under Chet's left foot, as the shop-keeper had shown him, and Chet crooned: "Jingle Bells! Jingle bells!..." The man then moved the lighter to Chet's right foot, and out came: "Silent Night, Holy night..."

The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then asked, "What if we hold the lighter between his legs?" The man did not know. "Let's try it," he answered, eager to please his wife. So they held the lighter between Chet's legs. Chet twisted his face, cleared his throat, and the little parrot sang out loudly like it was the performance of his life: "Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire...."

2006-06-12 02:43:33 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

cut off pig's wings.....will they grow it again????

2006-06-12 02:22:48 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous

my total %. of other ans is 95%
and best answers is 4%

WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER 1%????????

KEEP GUESSING???????

2006-06-12 02:17:28 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?

2006-06-12 02:07:56 · 19 answers · asked by anoukotie 4

Mike Peters was surprised to see his window slide open and was positively shocked when he saw two strangers climb inside. What transpired next could only be described as a despicable act of thievery. Mike watched with rapt fascination as the two thieves systematically began to remove the priceless Persian carpets, artwork, and jewelry. Having stripped the room, the thieves climbed back out the window. Incredibly, Mike went back to what he had been doing before the thieves arrived and soon he'd forgotten about the entire incident. Why wouldn't Mike, who was in perfect health, have tried to stop the thieves or at the very least call the police after they had left?

2006-06-12 02:07:12 · 5 answers · asked by jummybaibey 2

2006-06-12 02:05:55 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous

Pigs FLY ????

2006-06-12 02:00:38 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-12 01:50:50 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-12 01:43:01 · 14 answers · asked by jummybaibey 2

whatever one makes me laugh the most will be best answer...

2006-06-12 01:29:18 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

gear up your brains to solve this one...

2006-06-12 01:09:33 · 5 answers · asked by Lard Cherrybakins 4

Once upon a time there was a nonconforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter.
However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly started to fly south. In a short time ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in a barnyard, almost frozen.
A cow passed by and crapped on the little sparrow. The sparrow thought it was the end. But the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings.

Warm and happy, able to breathe, he started to sing. Just then a large cat came by and, hearing the chirping, investigated the sounds. The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird, and promptly ate him.

The Moral Of The Story
1) Everyone who shits on you is not necessarily your enemy.
2) Everyone who gets you out of the **** is not necessarily your friend.
3) And if you're warm and happy in a pile of ****, keep your mouth shut.

2006-06-12 01:05:38 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man with a 25-inch long penis goes to his doctor to complain that he is unable to get any women to have sex with him. They all tell him that his penis is too long. "Doctor," he asks in total frustration, "Is there any way you can shorten it?" The doctor replies, "Medically son, there is nothing I can do. But, I do know this witch who may be able to help you out." So the doctor gives him directions to the witch.

The man calls upon the witch and relays his story. "Witch, my penis is 25-inches long and I can't get any women to have sex with me. Can you help me shorten it?"

The witch stares in amazement, scratches her head, and then replies, "I think I have a solution to your problem. What you have to do is go to this pond deep in the forest. In the pond, you will see a frog sitting on a log who can help solve your dilemma. First you must ask the frog, will you marry me? Each time the frog declines your proposal, your penis will be five inches shorter."

2006-06-12 00:42:23 · 18 answers · asked by joann_xvi 4

2006-06-12 00:33:45 · 5 answers · asked by Sumi 1

A man kills his wife. Many people watch him doing so.
Yet no one will ever be able to accuse him of murder. Why?

2006-06-12 00:23:06 · 15 answers · asked by watcher 1