Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

2006-06-12 09:54:21 · 1 answers · asked by Taylor S 1

Because he likrs to hoe,hoe hoe.

2006-06-12 09:52:29 · 8 answers · asked by tourist 5

Tell me a crazy *** story with it and then tell me who won...I will give not only the winner 10 Points...but if you answer my question "Want 10 Points" I will give you that also...

2006-06-12 09:47:12 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-12 09:45:15 · 13 answers · asked by americanmalewhite 2

2006-06-12 09:43:55 · 59 answers · asked by terminaltuna 2

I've caught myself doing it on occaision.

2006-06-12 09:30:00 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am looking for better evidence.

2006-06-12 09:22:03 · 49 answers · asked by Zee99 3

WHO?

2006-06-12 09:15:01 · 19 answers · asked by HERNANDO THE TRAIN BANDIT 2

2006-06-12 09:13:12 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

2006-06-12 09:08:44 · 5 answers · asked by kajudalu 2

What is greater than God?
More evil than the Devil?
The rich need it?
The poor have it?
And if you eat it, you will die?

Winner gets 10 points!

2006-06-12 09:01:03 · 19 answers · asked by sandy_beaches 2

It runs all day.
Has no leg...
if u remove the ocean,
then u need a key.

2006-06-12 08:57:59 · 9 answers · asked by ???shaant??? 3

2006-06-12 08:57:58 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

a man walks into a bar holding a small man playing a small piano.
the bartender, amazed, asks the man where he got it. the man says theres a genie outside who will grant one wish to everyone.
the bartender goes outside and asks the genie for a million bucks. POOF! a million ducks appear. the bartender, now rather pissed, goes inside and says, "hey, i asked for a million bucks and all i got was a million ducks." the man says..."do you really think i asked for a 10 inch pianst?" (if you dont get it...read it out loud)




tell me what you think.

2006-06-12 08:53:08 · 12 answers · asked by Jessica 1

Three old men were sitting on a park bench comparing notes on the problems of growing old. The first said he couldn't remember the last time he had a good bowel movement. The second one said his problem was more with his bladder and prostate. The third old man laughed and said he must be the lucky one.

"Every morning at seven I pee, and then at eight I have a good dump," he told them. " I just wish I could wake up before nine."

2006-06-12 08:43:39 · 9 answers · asked by Marco551 2

An old couple was watching TV one evening, and the husband got up to go to the kitchen. His wife told him to get her some iced tea, and knowing that the years had taken their toll on his memory, she told him to write it down.

"I can remember iced tea," he protested.

"But I want sugar in my tea too," she told him, "so write it down."

He told her he could remember iced tea with sugar.

"I want a slice of lemon too." she said, "Just write it down."

He left the room grumbling to himself. A few minutes later he came back with a plate full of mashed potatoes for her.

"Now look what you've done!" she yelled at him, "You forgot my gravy!"

2006-06-12 08:38:53 · 24 answers · asked by Marco551 2

An awesome joke sent in by CJ:

There was this guy who always went out drinking with his friends. He would always come home very late. One night, while he was at the bar he told them his secret for being able to sneak in late. “When I walk in the house, before the wife can say anything, I lay her down, take off her panties, and give her the best oral sex she’s ever had, until she has such an orgasm that she falls into a deep sleep. Then, I wash up and go to bed. By morning, she is so pleased, she doesn’t care what time I came home.”

One of his friends thinks this is a great idea. So he stays out late, comes home, sneaks into the bedroom, gives his wife the best oral sex she’s ever had, and goes to wash up. His wife walks into the bathroom, obviously upset that he’s home so late.

“Hey, why aren’t you sleeping?” he asks.

“I was was, but I came in to tell you that we’ve got to sleep on the couch tonight, ’cause my mother is sleeping in our bedroom.”

2006-06-12 08:36:45 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-12 08:26:36 · 9 answers · asked by ialienmoon 1

2006-06-12 08:18:46 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

A prince in Africa wants to put 10 million dollars in my bank account for me to hold for him. He will then award me 10% for letting him put it there. All I need to do is send my bank account info to him.

I am feeling really honored that a prince would pick me to hold his wealth. Makes me feel kind of bad for not telling him that the IRS seized my account and anything that tries to connect to it gets seized too. Maybe he will forgive me later.

2006-06-12 08:01:59 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-12 07:52:48 · 18 answers · asked by ? 1

2006-06-12 07:05:17 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-12 06:37:48 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-12 06:33:44 · 28 answers · asked by Nobody 2

A woman goes into a restaurant in a small town in Newfoundland. She orders the chicken and starts to eat. Eating too fast she starts to choke on a chicken bone.
Buford and Buck 2 redneck boys in the next booth notice she is choking. So they get up and go over to help her. Buford drops his coveralls and bends over and then Buck starts licking his butt.
The choking woman watches these two go at it and is so grossed out she starts spewing up all over the place, dislodging the chicken bone from her throat.
Buford pulls his overalls back up and says to Buck "You're right, that hind-lick maneuver works like a charm."

2006-06-12 06:26:15 · 12 answers · asked by c_o_e_u_s 2

You seen the donkey video yet?
Click below URL to watch
https://qpop.com/default.aspx?bf=04A488F0C7E648F5A3902B9E21B6B34329040470162E43E38B0D547D0791AFB1
Video size is 2.4mb

2006-06-12 06:25:00 · 6 answers · asked by FlashMerlot 1

Here is a great site with about 100 or more Really Funny Bumper Stickers; http://www.bizzyblogz.com/bumper_stickers.html

2006-06-12 06:05:46 · 7 answers · asked by LifeSux 3

give it a try

2006-06-12 05:56:44 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous

Clem pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed Jed where he'd first had sex.
"It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day plainly. It was a warm summer day. She and I were so much in love. We walked down to the tree and made love for hours," Clem recalled.
"That sounds wonderful," said Jed.
"Yes. It was okay until I looked up and noticed her mother was standing right there watching us."
"Oh my God! What did her mother say when she saw you making love to her daughter?"
"Baaaaa..."

2006-06-12 05:47:06 · 18 answers · asked by c_o_e_u_s 2

Can I put that on my resume next to my Galaga high score?

2006-06-12 05:38:51 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous