Marriage & Divorce - 19 May 2007

My husband and I are kind of in a struggle for 'control' of the finances. He makes a lot of big decisions without me yet makes no payments [he works but doesn't physically handle the finances] on bills. While I understand he's trying his best to do what's right it's very frustrating. I would love for us to have one person 'in charge' [particularly me--LOL] who does everything [pays the bills and manages the accounts] but for us to discuss things together. This is the way it normally is but he has his moments when he just has an idea and he’s going to do it--without really knowing what he’s getting us into.

How do you handle finances in your marriage?

Do you have any suggestions on how we can be more successful and have less tension when it comes finances? We aren’t in debt and have excellent credit but it feels like we are constantly having to make our moves around mistakes or misunderstandings that my husband has/makes.

Thanks!

2007-05-19 08:44:32 · 16 answers · asked by .vato. 6

A year ago, my husbands ex girlfriend (mother of other kids) died of pneumonia. I expected him to be upset initially but as i said its been a year and he is still depressed. Even the children, although fairly young, seem to be doing much better. He hardly ever wants to have sex since she passed, he misses work to stay in bed, and spends more time with their children than with our child. I am very hurt and feel isolated from my husband. I understand his kids need him, but shouldnt HE be over it by now? I am starting to get angry. He has even been to counseling but its not helping . Am I just being selfish? For christs sake , they were never even married! I am his wife!

2007-05-19 08:35:33 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have a son who will be 5 in july. His biological father has never seen him and pays child support sporadically. He has never shown an interest in seeing or being a part of his sons life. My ex- husband has helped raise my son since the day I brought him home. Even when we are not together he still treats him as his own. When he comes to get our other 2 sons every other weekend, he also gets my 4 year old . He is the one my son has always called daddy. My ex would really like to make it official and adopt him. I need to know how hard it will be to have the biological fathers rights terminated. I know he lives in the same town as I do, but i haven't talked to him in over 5 years. What steps should I take to get the ball rolling.

2007-05-19 08:30:14 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

My husbands mother is how we communicate with his ex girfriend for the kids because she and i do not get along. Today my mother in law called me to tell me the kids (2 and a half and 4 and a half) need diapers..and the light bill needed to be paid or the light would be cut off. I'm thinking "why are you t elling ME? The ex (still) lives with her mom along with her two sisters and their husbans and of of course their(her and my husbands) kids. Every adult in the house works accept my husbands ex. The children DO live with her but under these circumstances why should he have to pay th eir bills? O need advice because i am debating even mentioning this bulls*** to my husband when comes home from work?

2007-05-19 08:27:52 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

This involes divorce, family court, child custody, child support, mental, verbal, and emotional abuse of a mother and 15 year old daughter. It would b greatly appreciated if I could find a lawyer. My ex kicked us out of our home and is now not letting us have our stuff we need to live as comfortable as we can. I need help major help there are several things I need to talk about. I am getting the run around in my state. It seems no one wants to help me and I desperately need the help. When we left I left with 6 dollars that isn't near what I needed to take care of a child. I am working, but missing work is killing me cuz I am trying to handle this myself and I can't. I need someone to help me. There is abuse going on like I said. I need an attorney to at least hear me.

2007-05-19 08:27:07 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

Few evenings ago I attended my 14 yr. old son's open house. Was married 23 yrs., now divorced 4 yrs and am very happy with my life and choice I made to divorce my ex. On rare occasions a function, like an open house, will come up and we'll attend together as a family. Though he and I are overall fine with with each other...unless related to kids, my ex and I share no contact...I like it that way.

When outside one of my son's classrooms my former husband introduced me as his wife. I just looked at him and said mildly yet clearly..." Excuse me ? " He then repeated the same. I just gave him a very clear stern " look ". He replied with " Oh sorry ". I told him later in private that by his behavior during our marriage, my being his wife was a privlage that he lost and to never make the mistake of referring to me as his wife again. That's a privlage for a man to call me that.

Why would a man refer to his ex as his " wife " after they've been divorced over four years ? !

2007-05-19 08:20:17 · 11 answers · asked by onelight 5

me & my gf are supposed to be getting married but there are issues. she no longer wants to communicate when there is a prob. she sweeps it under the rug. she has 2 kids. they are 2 & 7. i have been repeatledly hit on lately & i have tried to be involved in their lives but they have said "i'm nt the father". they don't listen to me & when i tell her about it she seems as is she doesn't care. when she got her tax returns back in march & got $6000 back & blew the money. we were supposed to get our own place but that's on hold cust we don't have the money & i have medical issues & am trying to pay those bills while saving money. i feel like i'm backed in a corner with no answers. that's some of the probs. what should i do. try to work it out or leave.

2007-05-19 08:10:23 · 11 answers · asked by jack 1

last night I met and hung out with a group of friends and there was this one girl that really caught my eye. This was the first time we had ever met. Later on during the night she was blatantly flirting with me and of course as was I. We ended up exchanging numbers and I told her I was going to call her today to see if maybe we can hang out tonight. All this was happening after we both had allot to drink. And when girls have 1 too many drinks, they usually flirt allot just to have fun. So, my question is, should I call her today, or should I wait?

2007-05-19 08:01:50 · 21 answers · asked by Acknutz 2

she always gets through 2 choc ices to my 1 and it costs me a fortune

2007-05-19 07:49:53 · 26 answers · asked by england til i die 3

meeting MILaw for 1st time after 9 years of marriage... she wasnt a very good mom and denied her children a very different life which would have been better for all of them has never apologized for all the self inflicted crap and for the failure to protect... she is self centered and does the poor me routine so how am i gonna keep my mouth shut?

2007-05-19 07:43:19 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

when my husband and i got married we hit a rough spot he told me that once we got our own place and settled he would feel better about everything. now we have our own place and everything we need plus a little more but hes still not happy it actually seems as though its getting worse. i donot understand why he always wants more and more i know thats natural but he 's taking it to an extreme and its effecting our relationship majorly to the point where i debating leaving him... i need advice

2007-05-19 06:56:51 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

Judge if you like, but if you have a heart, please offer some clear advice without hate; I've been married for nearly 10 years. For the last 8 I've been trying to resolve the emptiness... I've sat him down, I've threatened to leave, I've begged for attention and made suggestions. I've tried a hundred different ways and suggested counselling. Instead, he's beaviour is so incongruent as to leave me wondering what he's been up to for the last 5 years. So a year ago, I met someone. Rightly or wrongly we've fallen in love, yet refrained from a physical relationship (yes, we know it's an affair anyway.) So I've told husband I give up, told him I feel nothing for him. His reply.. tears, "victim" playing, and leaving everything in my court - leaving or staying. I'm the bad guy no matter what, yet I find it hard to leave for the sake of my child. My love has asked me to marry him, which I would readily do... but how do I move on without causing so much pain?

2007-05-19 06:55:20 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

If she doesn't get her way, she will never stop or give in. If I disagree with her it gets really bad. She will take things too far. Now my heart skips a beat everytime my wife starts to talk, because I don't know if she is mad or not. I would like to here your thoughts.

2007-05-19 06:35:10 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

My daughter has been married for 7 months and her husband is in the Army. She found out a few days ago that he is seeing a girl from Germany, where he was stationed until this week, now he is in Afganistan.She is so hurt that she wants a divorce.

2007-05-19 06:33:19 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Spouse thinks he can sell the house because it has his name on it. To prevent me from getting it in case of a divorce. Is there some thing I can do to prevent it?

2007-05-19 06:26:40 · 8 answers · asked by sassylassy2876 4

I ve been dating this guy for 9 months and I love him so much. Hes going through a divorce and is seperated from his wife at the moment. I made a mistake and called this girl to her house just to see if that was her phone number, and how she sounded on the phone (if youre a girl you understand) Well now she has my phone number she traced the call and knows who I am. What should i do? No hurtfull answers please I know I made a mistake in calling her. Just some truthfull and hhelpfull advice, and b4 you say it... I know I shouldnt have been calling her. My bf forgived me about it but Im worried about what she can do. Shes kinda psycho. Please help. Oh and by the way I wasnt the one who split them up. They were split up 4 months before I came into the picture.

2007-05-19 06:25:13 · 19 answers · asked by Is that your final answer? 3

I have been married for 4 yrs husband was in Iraq for 2 of those.Relationship has been getting worse.Now he is out I feel as if I am the only one who want to work matters out. He has left me twice once before he left and then again after he had been out of the military.I believed he has cheated on me in the past. We do not talk much and he gets upset when I bring our relationship up. He tells me it is my fault because I nag him. He makes decisions without telling me and we have a child that is not his but from a previous marriage. He can say some very mean and hurtful things sometimes. I was trying to go back to school but he got mad because of the cost and that I wanted to spend the money on school and didnt let him buy a boat like he wanted. We argue about money he is the only one working right now. I have tried staying out of his way when he tells me that he doesnt want to spend every minute with me even though he works 84 hrs. a week 3 weeks out of the month.We dont see him much.

2007-05-19 06:14:52 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am a Law Enforcement officer and she assaulted me in front of friends.....Our law says when one is assaulted the suspect goes to jail no matter what. I tried but they took her and this has led to more fuel in the fire. I got a restraining order on her and kept my youngest. I called the Dad of the oldest since I don't have rights. Maybe I should go ahead and move on till she comes around if she ever does.

2007-05-19 06:11:21 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

how do you seperate great sex from a bad marriage that cant work out becuase the husband doesnt want to rebuild trust and wont do what is necessary to keep the family together. we will be divorced on friday and i am worried we will slip up and sleep together since the sex is the best we have ever had. We have tried in the past to avoid it but it just seems to happen anywhere and any time so how do you avoid sex with your ex in the future since you have to be around each other for the kids?

2007-05-19 06:10:43 · 36 answers · asked by I♥Karma 4

any ideas how to tell them?

2007-05-19 06:04:57 · 29 answers · asked by Mary B 1

2007-05-19 05:57:15 · 17 answers · asked by NO TROUBLES 1

we have 2 kids been together for 7 years and my kids and i will be worse off money wise when i go i know what i need to do i just want ideas on how to make it less messy because every time i try to go he turns very nasty to me and the kids?

2007-05-19 05:56:31 · 10 answers · asked by Danielle C 2

I am 24 yrs old and my husband is 29 yrs old we have been married 1.5 yrs. He is a conserative morman and i am catholic (not very religoius)more open minded.To get to the issue my husband found out one of my investments which had paid for the down payment of our house was in porn series. While in college my friend Paul started his own ameteur porn series and i was an partner/investor in it.I was NEVER in any of the films i just assisted in the accounting/editing/ locations/buying equipment.After graduating college i started working at an accounting firm soon after met my hubby .I still continued to make money from porn series though and still do.Hubby feels disgusted because of this and want to sell our home plus anything else bought ith that money ? Why is he acting this way?

2007-05-19 05:40:42 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

My mum chucked my dad out of the house 3 weeks ago and hasn't shown any emotion towars him or my little brother or me.
Dad didn't do anything to her he did all the housework bought her everything never hit her he was the perfect husband.
Before she chucked him out she made him buy a new Wardrobe a chest of drawers and a new bed and book a holiday.
My dad is off work with depression everyone is upset including my grandparents.
I was looking through her txts yestarday when I found a rather intimate one from a man who me and my brother hate.
He is the most ignorant arrogand person and I can't believe she has chosen him over my dad.
As long as this man is in my life I can't live I'm 14 and I feel like that please help
thanks

2007-05-19 05:40:38 · 18 answers · asked by rozzywozzy 2

me mad and im at the end of my teather.i no my husband is the grown up but my son does hit him i tell him off then there fine then something small happens and there off again pls help need advice serious answers plz

2007-05-19 05:33:44 · 16 answers · asked by sweetcheeksbrandonrob 2

What would you do if your spouse wouldn't helpyou with nothing? And then tell you how it should be done and call you names and put down if you dont do it the way they think it should be done. and tell their mother all negative things about them. They dont want no responiblity for children niether nor wants to play with them or any thing. can't stand to be around them. Makes you feel like a single parent. treats you with verbal abuse. Tells how to punish a child that they don't want to help you with or even be apart of their life and expect you to do every thing for them including serving all meals in bed because they refuse to eat with you and the kids because they are noisey. tell spouse they need to get the kids house trained. And not act like children. thinks they can't play and explore their home enviroment. Thinks the spouse should have eyes inthe back of their head. What would you do?

2007-05-19 05:12:08 · 23 answers · asked by sassylassy2876 4

I'm not trying to start any crap here...

Some women nowadays are annoying and abussive as hell, and needed a good slap in the face to show them what up. I HATE how the media is constantly portraying men/husband/father as abussive, they failed to realize that there are TONS of abusive women out there that need a good beating.

If I got married one day, and if my wife acting up and act real ****y, I'll slap her hard until she come to her sense. Some women need to know their place and shut up IMO.

Who here with me?

2007-05-19 05:07:57 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

My wife and I have either one or the other. If we have it more often, it';s usually more strained, or we are too distracted to really have a good time. If we go longer between, we get more frusterated, but we knock each others' socks off. Then we complain we should do it more often. Advice from adults?

2007-05-19 04:59:42 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

He wrote this after a rough time lately:

Casey,
Okay, maybe I'm not the most romantic man in the world. I do know this, though: I loved you the moment I first saw you and I love you now. Most importantly, I have loved you every moment in between. I don't always show it, maybe I can't, but its true. Just because I'm a prick doesn't mean I don't love you. It just means I'm a prick. You are the first thing I think about when I wake up, the last thing I think about when I go to bed, and the single most important person in the world to me all day long. I guess I should call more often. What's your phone number?
P.S. If you say 1-800-EAT-**** I'll be crushed!

2007-05-19 04:34:53 · 26 answers · asked by casey308 2

I have been married for 8 years and have two wonderfull boys. we have always worked dif shifs. He on first and i'm now on 3rds. he wants me to work morning or split shifts. like a 9 to 5. but i don't want to have anyone watch my boys. and i don't want to fork out many for a babysitter. i want the best for my kids but i also want the best for my family. what would u do if u were in my shoes. My oldest son is in first grade and my yougest will start preschool this fall. please give me your advice. thanks.

2007-05-19 04:28:36 · 5 answers · asked by angel 2