I have been married for 4 yrs husband was in Iraq for 2 of those.Relationship has been getting worse.Now he is out I feel as if I am the only one who want to work matters out. He has left me twice once before he left and then again after he had been out of the military.I believed he has cheated on me in the past. We do not talk much and he gets upset when I bring our relationship up. He tells me it is my fault because I nag him. He makes decisions without telling me and we have a child that is not his but from a previous marriage. He can say some very mean and hurtful things sometimes. I was trying to go back to school but he got mad because of the cost and that I wanted to spend the money on school and didnt let him buy a boat like he wanted. We argue about money he is the only one working right now. I have tried staying out of his way when he tells me that he doesnt want to spend every minute with me even though he works 84 hrs. a week 3 weeks out of the month.We dont see him much.
2007-05-19 06:14:52 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wouldn't give up on your marriage until you try marriage counseling first. Money is the number one reason people split up, so if you can't come to an agreement on how to handle money issues it may be over. What's more important, money or your relationship? Your nagging is real to him, his mean & hurtful talk may be real to you....so you need rules for speaking with each other that maybe a counselor can arrange. As far as infidelity is concerned, I wouldn't bring that up with him unless you have proof. Let it go. If you have proof, determine whether it was just drunken sex or if he had feelings for the other woman. You may want to give him one more chance if it was just sex, otherwise it's probably over cause you won't ever trust him again.
2007-05-19 06:31:43 · answer #1 · answered by wow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay.....
You say you have been married for 4 yrs, but your husband as been in Iraq for 2yrs. So lets be real, you been married on paper for 4, but physically married for 2. You say he left you twice once before he left for Iraq and then again. It really doesn't matter how long he left, he just left and that is not right.
You don't talk much and when you bring up your relationship, he accuses you of nagging. He is verbally abusive and shuns your child. You tried to go back to school and he got mad because it was too expensive. You don't see him much because he is always working.
Girl, you don't have a marriage. And I think you already know it, don't you? Divorce Yes or No? I say:
YES, YES, YES
2007-05-19 06:25:11 · answer #2 · answered by Ugogirl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He left you in the beginning of the marriage and yet here you are 4 years later still married? He left you once, you should have taken the hint and filed for divorce citing abandoment of the marriage. "we have a child that is not his but from a previous marriage." No YOU have a child from a previous marriage, unless he has adopted that child he doesn't "have" that child. Does this child's biological father pay child support? If not why? He doesn't have to pay for you going to school. I suggest that if you want to go to school you look in to student loans that YOU will be able to pay back within a year of getting your degree. He's making the money honey so he pretty much has the final say in where it goes. You want to have a say, then I suggest you get a job and make your own money...
2007-05-19 07:30:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In todays society, with so many failed marriages, the courts no longer really care who or why and just grant the divorce. Now if both parties seem to be wishy-washy about the divorce, the Judge may get the feeling that divorce isnt wanted by either and order marriage counseling. But in majority of cases the divorce is just granted to prevent further problems
2016-05-17 11:53:54 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is for sharing your life with someone. Doesn't sound like he is willing to do much sharing. Give him some time to adjust from being in a war zone. If he doesn't ever start to show more interest in the relationship then you might suggest a trial separation for awhile.
Get a job and try night school. This will occupy some of your free time.
2007-05-19 06:32:32 · answer #5 · answered by p00756 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nah, its waste of time staying with him, cause he is just the kind of man you want in your life and your not happy with him and when u tell him that u need some attention he just ignore's you and orders you to stay away from him, so is that what a husband does to his wife. I would say, take a brave decision and take divorce from him cause I cant see happy anywhere in the far or the future, you will be facing more hell with him cause as per ur question details your in Hell...so think twice before taking a serious step...
2007-05-19 06:20:44 · answer #6 · answered by Rizwan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he only wants what he wants and doesn't care much for the marriage or you. I would leave him if he refused to go to counseling. A marriage should be about working together and making decisions together.
2007-05-19 06:25:25 · answer #7 · answered by adeleighernandez26 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay I think if you think things are bad then they are and if you think you need a divorce then you do. Also on school at tax time you get most of the money back...
2007-05-19 06:20:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is only you who could answer the question.If you still love him after all the heartaches, then go on living with him.
If you can't no longer take all his abuses etc. then file a divorce.
2007-05-19 06:22:10 · answer #9 · answered by M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is not going to mature and grow up then you will be better off with him in your past instead of in your present and future. Thinkgs will only go from bad to worse; it is time to move forward on your own.
2007-05-19 06:27:10 · answer #10 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋