how do you seperate great sex from a bad marriage that cant work out becuase the husband doesnt want to rebuild trust and wont do what is necessary to keep the family together. we will be divorced on friday and i am worried we will slip up and sleep together since the sex is the best we have ever had. We have tried in the past to avoid it but it just seems to happen anywhere and any time so how do you avoid sex with your ex in the future since you have to be around each other for the kids?
2007-05-19 06:10:43 · 36 answers · asked by I♥Karma 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i know some of you will say "find someone new" but i am not interested since i am just newly divorced and am not ready for a relationship. i need time to rebuild myself.
2007-05-19 06:11:50 · update #1
WHAT!
I DIDNT CHEAT! HE CHEATED AND LIED!
2007-05-19 06:17:07 · update #2
Well, use your head instead of your genitals.
If you are divorced and intend on staying that way...make up your mind that you will not have sex with him. No matter how great the sex is, if the marriage was so bad you had to get out then all the sex in the world is not worth it.
You may have to be around him for the kids, but don't use them as the excuse that you two might have sex. You need to be above all that and be an example to your kids.
You can do anything you put your mind to, no matter how hard it is.
Good Luck.
2007-05-19 06:18:34 · answer #1 · answered by ladyw0llf 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-05-07 20:25:12 · answer #2 · answered by Delores 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you get divorced what you agree to in that divorce is that you will no longer bother each other with things of a personal nature. If you cannot agree to that then don't get divorced. If it's a bad marriage then figure out what makes it bad and solve that, or solve that to the point that the bad part "rarely" happens. If it's an anger or controlling issue then have both parties attend courses on that or ask that the judge mandate those courses for the both of you...If your ex is the culprit then have the ex go because they need it and you go because you are the enabler, or visa versa.
Here in my state people just split and never divorce when children are involved. He lives by himself and does what he wants, and she goes on living in his house till the children are grown accepting his money and making sure his children are treated properly and are well educated. While you're living free you can have an outside job and educate yourself so that when you're left on your own then you can support yourself. A married surname is very important to have in some circles and that's the reason why people solve the problem in this matter.
If there is no trust in your marriage and your'e afraid of Aids or Std's or something then explain that, explain that that would hurt you and your children, and make an agreement between yourselves to not have sex anymore.
It seems like you want to have your cake and eat it too and that never works. It seems like you enable him by not saying no and then the circle continues. If it's bad then it's bad, come to a decision and stick by it. One way or the other. If you say you have a trust problem (that you can't trust him, cause he clearly isn't going to build up trust with you, so the problem is yours not his) then you're teaching your children that it's ok to bypass rules and laws, and laws of nature as well (like what happens if from your contact that you conceive another child?). Nothing "just seems to happen". Something in you is encouraging that activity. Solve that.
2007-05-19 06:27:03 · answer #3 · answered by sophieb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not spend time together unless it is to drop the kids off etc. I think you need to concentrate on getting your life back together rather then sleeping with your Ex. Everyone can say no if you do something then you are weak and pathetic.
P.S. If you do get married again do not base it on the quality of sex but on the depth of love and desire you have for the person. Marriage is suppose to be for life one person!
2007-05-19 06:37:16 · answer #4 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ugh, right this is the ingredient. the two one in each and every of you could experience that it is totally nicely in view which you 2 was once mutually. yet, it is no longer. he's married now, and you're able to appreciate his spouse a similar way you needed to be respected on the time. It sounds such as you opt to end however and if there are no little ones interior the image with the two one in each and every of then you it is going to be extremely ordinary. basically cut back all verbal substitute with him. it is the only way in view which you 2 are thank you to tempted with one yet another. in case you do have little ones mutually then as complicated because it may be you could desire to maintain your distance and say NO to him. additionally keep this in thoughts, he's utilising you for intercourse, you at the instant are not some inexpensive trick you're plenty greater suited then that and deserve greater suited. keep that throughout thoughts as a results of fact it is the reality and you will discover it much less complicated to decline to him.
2016-11-25 00:42:39 · answer #5 · answered by menut 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then take time for yourself and wait till your ready to get back into a relationship again. But DON'T base the relationship on sex. Right now I think sex should be the last thing you should be worried about.
2007-05-19 06:14:32 · answer #6 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be a real woman, not a sex object or controlled by your own sexual urges. I have to assume by trust you are talking about a sexual indiscretion. If you are divorced you can be certain he is having sex with other people. You certainly don't want to be exposed to whatever diseases he may come into contact with and you don't want another child by him after you are divorced. Have self-respect for yourself and retain your dignity. There is more great sex out there.
2007-05-19 06:24:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ya u need sometime relax first before u meet someone new. but the way to avoid it is. when u comes up to u, and u feel like he is asking for sex, just say no to him and get away from him for a while. u have to do this until he will stop. u need to tell him that u dont want to have sex no more. good luck
2007-05-19 06:15:15 · answer #8 · answered by Lil b-baller 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats hard but actually sex is what brought me and my hubby back together..the passion we had during sex rubbed off. But given your situation with the cheating..I would just think about him having sex with the other girl. That would totally turn me off. Good luck
2007-05-20 13:02:09 · answer #9 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you yourself said that you need to rebuild yourself. You can start with self-restraint.
It's not really the best sex if there's nothing else, now is it?
2007-05-19 06:15:23 · answer #10 · answered by Jac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋