What would you do if your spouse wouldn't helpyou with nothing? And then tell you how it should be done and call you names and put down if you dont do it the way they think it should be done. and tell their mother all negative things about them. They dont want no responiblity for children niether nor wants to play with them or any thing. can't stand to be around them. Makes you feel like a single parent. treats you with verbal abuse. Tells how to punish a child that they don't want to help you with or even be apart of their life and expect you to do every thing for them including serving all meals in bed because they refuse to eat with you and the kids because they are noisey. tell spouse they need to get the kids house trained. And not act like children. thinks they can't play and explore their home enviroment. Thinks the spouse should have eyes inthe back of their head. What would you do?
2007-05-19 05:12:08 · 23 answers · asked by sassylassy2876 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He wasn't always like that, he became that way only a year ago. He wasn't like that when we got married. which now i dont even know if the marriage is valaid
2007-05-21 04:04:26 · update #1
PHEW!!!!
Girl, it sounds like you are going through some stuff. First of all, a marriage is a partnership. Both parties must play an acitve role in making the marriage successful. That includes raising children, domestic chores, etc. Second, a marriage is about love. And love does not involve verbal abuse and going to others outside the marriage and telling negative things.
You have children. And these children are going to grow up one day to have children of their own. Starting today, ask yourself what type of life do you want them to have and compare it to the type of life they are experiencing this very moment. Is it good? Do they deserve better?
At this moment, you have to think about your kids. Your husband doesn't do anything to help and is verbally abusing you. He is going to his MaMa and spreading lies about you. He wants to tell you how to do things, but doesn't want to do anything himself.
What would I do? Leave his ***!!
2007-05-19 05:27:34 · answer #1 · answered by Ugogirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time to take a long, HARD look at the marriage. He sounds verbally and emotionally abusive; is that what you want your children to pattern as adults? Go into marriage counseling, together or alone. There are sliding fee scales available through community and social service offices in your area. Find out for yourself why you're tolerating this abuse. Take classes, get a job; take the first steps to true independence for yourself. Look in the mirror and say to yourself, "I am stronger than this situation. I am beautiful, smart and can be better than this." Most importantly, YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS. Your children are better than this situation. Good luck and God bless.
2007-05-19 12:21:54 · answer #2 · answered by Judy W 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your children deserve better than this. Even if you think you don't, they do. Get out of that situation as soon as possible. This is not a spouse, this is a narcississtic loser who seems to thrive on your misery. You can do bad by yourself. There is someone out there who won't make you carry the load and go through life by yourself. There is someone who will be there for you, love and cherish you, not despise, ignore, and avoid you. You do not have to stay in it. Enlist the help of a trusted friend or family member. Tell someone else what's going on. Have someone help you get yourself and your children out of the situation. Good luck to you and your children.
2007-05-19 12:28:04 · answer #3 · answered by TwyztedChyck 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, here's the problem...this is somewhat your own fault.
When you first got married, and things started happening that made you unhappy...you should have stood up for yourself and said something about it right then and there...instead, you chose to keep quiet, and let him have his way on everything...so here you are, years later - resentful & unhappy.
You pretty much have two choices, you can try to get him into marriage counseling (but I doubt he will go) to see if you can have the counselor help you express what you haven't been able to....or you can file for divorce...since you feel like you are a single parent anyway...it won't be that hard for you...in fact in may be easier because you won't have him degrading you every other minute.
2007-05-19 12:19:57 · answer #4 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow, have experienced that and it's tough. He's not like that now, but yes it's not fun. You have to understand that the wife is doing everything that she can to give her children the best as well as trying to keep her sanity with what is going on with the husband. She is a strong woman because she still continues to take care of her children regardless of what a butt head like that instills in her. She is keeping a good attitude and telling herself that she's doing well with her children and keeping up with the house and trying to block everything that is verbally thrown at her. She has to think of it this way. He's never there. He may be at home, but he's shut up in his room and never shows his face but to yell at the wife. What's the point of staying married. If he truly loves her and the children, he'll straighten up, but she needs to stand for herself and tell him to back off and to get off his butt.
2007-05-19 12:24:42 · answer #5 · answered by Moon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all what are you doing with a man like this, let alone married to him? This is the question you need to ask yourself and then leave. Your husband does all this cause you let him and he can. You're a push-over! You must don't have a job and he feels superior to you...get a job pay your way and move--- you are being abused! And your kids deserve better, and you need to realize that better is out there!
2007-05-19 12:21:44 · answer #6 · answered by BossLady 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You picked this lazy bum only to come to us crying.How did you make more than one child with him?I am sorry but you already made your bed.No soup for you here.Let your plight be a lesson to all the good women out here looking to settle down.If it looks like a duck and quacks like one it is a duck.
Do not excuse bad behavior while you are dating.When you marry them expect the worse.
2007-05-19 12:22:06 · answer #7 · answered by miraclehand2020 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, if they didn't like the way I did it I'd tell them to do it themselves. This person is definitly not into the marriage. I think I'd have a long heart to heart with them. If that didn't work I'd probably JUST LEAVE. Or kick them out. You could try counseling. However, I doubt they will do it.
2007-05-19 12:17:56 · answer #8 · answered by Ann S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First I would write a letter to him so you do not need to listen to his crap of blaming you,in the letter spell it out what you need from him.If he refuses to make any compromises hes a nasty self absorbed boy.I would get a lawyer.and start going for a divorce.Hes got serious problems its not you honey.Get as far away as you can to protect your kids from his nasty attitudes,he may eventually start to get physically abusive.It always starts with emotional.Good luck
2007-05-19 12:23:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness this would not be a guy for me.Hell no! A marriage/ relationship should always be 50/50. If he does not chance his way please leave him and find one that will be more supportive.There are a lot of nice guys out there>
Good Luck and God Bless.
2007-05-19 12:17:03 · answer #10 · answered by Michael Jackson 1958 - FOREVER 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋