Why is no one ever happy with what they have?

Question

when my husband and i got married we hit a rough spot he told me that once we got our own place and settled he would feel better about everything. now we have our own place and everything we need plus a little more but hes still not happy it actually seems as though its getting worse. i donot understand why he always wants more and more i know thats natural but he 's taking it to an extreme and its effecting our relationship majorly to the point where i debating leaving him... i need advice

Answer 1

I was in a similar situation myself, and am now newly-divorced. It wasn't my idea. We had other issues too, but his obsession with money and him being materialistic (& wanting to protect his assets) played a huge part in my husband's decision to divorce me.

If it's not one problem, it's another. And every marriage has its fair share of struggles - that's part of EVERY relationship. It's painful, I know. I don't know what vows you took at your wedding ceremony, but the commonly used "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer ... till death do us part" gives us an idea that things might not go so hunkydory all the time and this situation you're in could well be the "worse" that the vows speak of. My only advice is, pls don't give up on your marriage. It is a covenant. Pray, get counselling, seek help. Do whatever it takes to save your marriage. Just don't give up.

I understand my answer might not be popular here, but that's ok. Too many marriages are falling apart. For many people it's easier to just throw in the towel & start anew with someone else - there's a real lack of commitment and the desire to work at their marriage.

And no, I haven't given up on my marriage.

Answer 2

It's just one the the many problems of marriage,and I don't think anyone on here can solve it.
I'm not trying to be a wisea** when I say that the marriage contract is the only contract I know that gives the date the contract starts but no date of when we are relieved of the obligations of It.If there is a date of the end, it could be renewed if both parties agree to renew it.If they choose not to then they go their separate ways. Of course the parties must be obligated to share the the responsibilities they they incurred when they were under the contract;children and properties etc.
You might say that's what divorce is.Divorce can be and is to some people intimidating because of the religious aspect or family tradition.But if we separate the contract by having an ending date it separates it from religion and tradition psychologically. It is separation of church and state.
We all change as we go through life,we never stop. We are not the same people we were on our wedding day

Answer 3

Get into therapy for the sake of your marriage. When things like this are left not dealt with, they only get worse, as you have indicated. The majority of people out there in relationships learned how to be in relationship based on their upbringing.
If that upbringing was neglectful or abusive in any way, people will carry that into their adult life, even when they don't want to admit it...while you can never change the past, you can change your views on things, which therapy will do but the key is to find the right kind of therapy for you. Good luck.

Answer 4

Well why don't you sit your husband down and have a serious talk with him about all that your concerned about. If that doesn't work then why don't you try marriage counseling or something? I mean a lot of people want more than they have but f it's to the point that it's affecting your relationship as a whole then maybe you should definitely consider getting help if your husband doesn't respond to you talking with him. Good luck to you!

Answer 5

It's not that people aren't happy with what they got. People always want what they cant have.

Not all people are this way, but most people just cant settle for what they got and always want more.

A good quote of mine.
"people love to love the unattainable"

meaning that we want what we cant have.
You need to either make him realize what he has and that he needs to be happy with it.

Or the worst of the two, leave him and and find someone who will treat you like a queen.

Life's too short to live angrily or upset.
Be happy in the short time were granted to live in this world.

Answer 6

You and your husband have differing priorities. This happens from time to time. He may be in materialism or something similar.

You need to discuss this with him and let him know how you feel. If need be, you might need counseling.

Fight for your marriage and your relationship, but don't get pushed around. You are not alone, lots of people worship at the altar of consumerism.

Answer 7

Get a professional counseling opinion. There's no way to resolve a problem until you know the reason FOR the problem.
Oftentimes one is not happy within oneself, thus no ONE or NOTHING will create happiness, and/or satisfaction. Thus it becomes a vicious cycle, thinking more 'things' will fill that unexplainable void.

Answer 8

Some people are always looking for more they want the best of the best
maybe your husband thinks that way
i feel sorry for you that things are not the way you want them and i do hope things look better in the future
Respect
shaz

Answer 9

try Crises line, Call them.
Call any Counslor.
Get a Motel & see if your relation can get stronger
Ask him, If he really loves you.
Sometimes Seperation is the only Route to go, you still can be friends with him, just not living with him, its all up to you, & since i dont know you, you gotta think for yourself now, which is best, good luck, hope i run into you again & hugs

Answer 10

Some folks who didn't have much growing up will always seek something better than they have.
They'll never have enough money, clothes, cars, friends, love.

And it can be physical items like cars/clothes/tv's, etc, or it can be emotional things like lack of parental love/attention.