Jokes & Riddles - July 2007

If you are rowing across the desert in a rowboat, how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house?

2007-07-28 08:00:38 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

there are 6 drumsticks, the father eat 3 of them , his son eat 2 of them, but they keep another one drumstick forever, why they wanna keep it??

2007-07-28 07:28:39 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

One of the city's top cardiac specialists died.

At his funeral his coffin was placed in front of a huge replica of a heart made of red roses. When the pastor finished the sermon and everyone said their good-byes the large heart opened up, the coffin rolled inside and the heart closed again.

It was a majestic and fitting tribute to the much loved cardiologist. Suddenly one of the mourners burst into a fit of laughter. Irritated by his insensitivity the man sitting next to him asked, "Excuse me but why are you laughing?"

I was just thinking about my own funeral," the man replied.

I'm a gynecologist ! "

2007-07-28 07:25:32 · 14 answers · asked by postypaul 3

I am filled with hotness. I don't mind how hot water is. What am I?

2007-07-28 07:22:35 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Ok I have a clean joke for ya my brother took a bath with bubbles. Ok now u have a dirty one for ya, bubbles was the girl next door!!!

2007-07-28 07:18:25 · 6 answers · asked by Amber 1

A California policeman pulled a car over and told the driver that because
he had been wearing his seatbelt, he had just won $5,000 dollars in the
statewide safety competition.

"What are you going to do with the money?" asked the policeman.

"Well, I guess I'm going to get a driver's license," he answered.

"Oh, don't listen to him," yelled the woman in the passenger seat. "He's
a real jerk when he's drunk."

This woke up the guy in the back seat, who took one look at the cop and
moaned, "I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car."

At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a voice said, in
Spanish, "Are we over the border yet?"

2007-07-28 06:36:25 · 17 answers · asked by Phoenix 寶尚羿 3

what is so special about this order of numbers?
854917632
and remember its not math at all
please think its teasy

2007-07-28 06:31:43 · 6 answers · asked by A's 4

what is so special about this order of numbers?
854917632
and remember its not math at all
please think its teasy

2007-07-28 06:26:17 · 5 answers · asked by A's 4

A little old lady sits at the cafe counter and orders a hamburger. The huge guy behind the counter houts, "One burger."

"Whereupon the chef grabs a huge chunk of minced meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and then throws it on the grill.

"That's the most disgusting thing i've ever seen, i've changed my mind," the old lady says.

"Yeah," says the counterman, "You should be here in the morning when he makes the doughnuts!"

2007-07-28 06:10:14 · 19 answers · asked by MYKLIA G 5

Which is to blame for the floods?

Is it that Umbrella song that's been number 1 for 10 weeks, or is it a publicity stunt for the new film?

2007-07-28 05:48:19 · 9 answers · asked by We Are Squirrel 3

mine is... two snowmen in the garden one says to the other.... do you smell carrots?

2007-07-28 04:50:39 · 16 answers · asked by insatiable little yellow duckie 3

For those who have pondered the chicken & egg question. This story comes from an im-peckable source.

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking a bit pissed off. The egg mutters, to no-one in particular, "Well, I guess we answered THAT question!"

2007-07-28 04:03:25 · 7 answers · asked by Caretaker 7

3 men of 3 different countreis were in a competition
they asked them to form a sentence of these 3 words :"pink,yellow,green"
the american said" the yellow sun shined on the green grass and the pink flowers"
the frech said" i ate a yellow banana with the green grapes in a pink bowel"
the stranger said" the phone rang GREEN GREEN, then i PINK up the phone and said YELLOW.

2007-07-28 03:44:24 · 28 answers · asked by A's 4

This article http://www.savvyminded.com/2007/07/28/when-stand-up-sits-down/
points out a great question that I've always wanted to ask others. What do you see in vulgar comedy that's so funny? Why can't it be clean?

2007-07-28 03:41:51 · 7 answers · asked by sonicboom96 1

A guy flies into a town for a meeting the next day and decides he could use a beer. He doesn't know his way around, so he just goes into the first bar he sees. After a few moments, he realizes it's a gay bar, but he figures it's no problem, he'll just have his beer and go back to his room.
He asks the bartender for a beer and the bartender replies, "there's only one rule here, before I can serve you, you have to tell me the nickname for your penis."
This definitely surprises the guy but he still wants a beer so he asks the guy next to him what his is called.
The other guy says " I call mine Chevy, like a rock"
Then he asks the guy on his other side who replies, "I call mine Gillette, the best a man can get."
Finally the guy is ready to order a beer so he asks the bartender for one.
"So what do you call yours? " the bartender asks.
"I call it Secret, strong enough for a man but made for a woman!"

2007-07-28 03:33:31 · 10 answers · asked by seadog 5

2007-07-28 03:33:01 · 9 answers · asked by dan2low 1

a husband and wife were traveling in the car
then suddenly the car stopped, so the man said:"wait here honey i'll go get some help, close the windows and the doors and dont open for anyone."
when the man came back he saw his woman dead in the car and a stranger in too.
knowing that the car is not opened!
how that can be???!!!

2007-07-28 03:28:40 · 22 answers · asked by A's 4

One day Belinda, the good witch, was walking down the road when she saw a yellow frog crying. She asked him what was wrong and he said ” I just want to be green like the other frogs.”

So she did some magic and he turned green but when he looked down his dik was still yellow. She said that she couldn’t do any more magic and he’d have to go see the Wizard.
As she kept going she saw a pink elephant that was crying. She asked him what was wrong and he said that he wanted to be gray. So she did some magic and turned him gray. When he looked down his dik was still pink so she told him to go see the Wizard.
He asked how to get there and she said “Follow the yellow dik toad.”

2007-07-28 03:22:52 · 10 answers · asked by Brad 2

How did this happen and how the bleep did they get out!!??

http://www.maxumowners.org/Images/damaged_boats/SummRL2002contest.jpg


and NO jokes about women drivers - too predictable and just not true, (it was a guy driving!!)

2007-07-28 02:14:31 · 13 answers · asked by lola 5

An old woman had 3 daughters. One day she decided to test her Sons-in-law.


One day she was walking along a lakeshore with the first son-in-law. Purposefully, she fell down in the lake and started yelling for help.


The first son-in-law jumped into the water and dragged her out into the shore.


The next day he found a brand new E Class Mercedes in his door steps with the wordings "Thank you!!!-Your Mother-in-law who loves you very much!!!"


Another day she was walking along a lakeshore with the second son-in-law. Purposefully, she fell down in the lake and started yelling for help.


The second son-in-law jumped into the water and dragged her out into the shore.


The next day he found a brand new E Class Mercedes in his door steps with the wordings "Thank you!!!-Your Mother-in-law who loves you very much!!!"


The third time she was walking with the third son-in-law and she repeated the same. But that guy didn't respond to her cries for help and didnt move a single step to save her.


The poor old lady who wanted to test her sons-in-law drowned and died.

.


.
.



. .
.

The next day he found a brand new Rolls-Royce in his doorsteps with the following wordings ...
.
.
. .

"Thank you very much! Your Father-in-law! !!"

2007-07-28 01:56:19 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

i must go down to the sea again
to the lonely sea at skye
i left my vest and socks there
i wonder if there dry

2007-07-28 01:29:18 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

Because they can't get the Wrappers off.

2007-07-28 01:29:17 · 19 answers · asked by Paul T 4

think of a number1-10
multiply it by 9
if it is a two digit number plus the nuber together(e.g 32=3+2)
subract 5
think of a aplhabet with that number(e.g 1=a 2=b)
think of a country with that letter
remember the last letter of the country
think of a animal with that letter
rememeber the last letter of that animal
think of a fruit with that letter



are u thinking of a Kangaroo in Dnemark eating an Orange?


this is freaky right?if u did not get that answer u are among the 32% who did not get that answer but if u did u r among the 2%.

2007-07-28 01:25:12 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

100 Camels for Wife
US tourists, a man and his wife are traveling in the Middle East. An Arab approaches the husband, saying, "I'll give you 100 camels for your woman."

After a long silence, the husband says, "She's not for sale."

The indignant wife says, "What took you so long to answer?"

The husband replied, "I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home."

2007-07-28 01:13:31 · 34 answers · asked by ๏๓ รђคภtเ, รђคภtเ รђคภtเ ....... ! 7

2007-07-28 01:04:57 · 16 answers · asked by majoti 5

A ship sank in high seas and the following people got stranded on a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere:


A. 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
B. 2 French men and 1 French woman
C. 2 German men and 1 German woman
D. 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
E. 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
F. 2 Mexican men and 1 Mexican woman
G. 2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman


What a Crazy coincidence! One month later, on various parts of the island, the following was observed:

2007-07-28 01:00:34 · 16 answers · asked by Phoenix 寶尚羿 3

to recommend for me to watch?

2007-07-27 23:55:58 · 25 answers · asked by Dan 3

and sees a pile of old newspaper, some wood, and a lantern. Which does he light first?

2007-07-27 23:55:48 · 13 answers · asked by Coco55 3

There is a man who can make 1 cigarette out of 8 cigarette butts, he has 64 cigarette butts, how many cigarettes can he make?

2007-07-27 23:04:39 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

A Cuban family in Miami was considering putting their grandfather in a nursing home. All the Catholic facilities were completely full so they have to put him in a Jewish home.

After a few weeks in the Jewish facility, they come to visit grandpa.

"How do you like it here?" asks the grandson.

"It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful," says grandpa.

"We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you."

"Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents here," grandpa says with a big smile. "There's a musician here -- he's 85-years old. He hasn't played the violin in 20 years and everyone still calls him 'Maestro'! and there's a physician here -- 90 years old. He hasn't been practicing medicine for 25 years and everyone still calls him 'Doctor'!

And me, I haven't had sex for 30 years and they still call me "the Fuking Cuban"!

2007-07-27 21:05:46 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous