do you have a fav joke?

Question

mine is... two snowmen in the garden one says to the other.... do you smell carrots?

knock knock...whos there... bigish... bigish who?.... not thanks..

knock knock...whos there...runnip...runnipwho?... hehehe

Answer 1

Good one.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?
...
How do you pick up anything with that?

Answer 2

Here's my favorite jokes


1.
97 percent of scouse men have claimed to have had sex in the shower.the remaining 3 percent have never been to prison

2. Mick & Paddy reading head stones near church.
Mick says, "CRIKEY there's a bloke here who was 152." Paddy says, "what was his name?"
Mick says, "Miles from London."

3.I've Just been banned from local swimming baths, just because the f##kin letter S had come off my speedo trunks.

4. A muslim just crashed his car into the Ulley Reservoir in sheffield.... Police think it might be the start of RamaDam

5.I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, 'That's Abbariginal.'

6. I went to Blockbusters and I said
'Can I rent "Batman Forever"?
He said, 'No, you'll have to bring it back by 9pm tomorrow'

Answer 3

Pandamonium

A Certain Panda went to a Restaurant and ordered for a Hamburger.After sometime the panda took out a gun and a shot at the ceiling,waved his hand in the air and left the place...Nobody understood why?

The answer:Because 'Pandas eat shoots and leaves'

Answer 4

it's more fo a riddle rather than a joke. Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Answer 5

ahaha love them all :)

a blonde was doing a jigsaw but she was having trouble fitting the pieces togethher, she cals her husband and says "honey, help me with my jigsaw, none of the pieces fit, i cant even find an end piece to start it off" her husband replies, "okay sweetie,well there's usually a picture on the box to tell you what it looks like when you finish it" and she goes "Yeah its a massive rooster" there is a pause and the husband sighs "okay dear, put the cornflakes back, il be home soon..."

gerrit?

LOL :)

Answer 6

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce, who?
Lettuce in and you will find out!


Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Tick.
Tick who?
Tick 'em up. I'm a tig tad towboy!


Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Toby.
Toby Who?
Toby or not to be!


Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Dot.
Dot who?
Dots for me to know, and you to find out.

Answer 7

actually i have two right now they are:
1. what did the egg say to the boiling water?
*** "it may take me a while to get hard cause i just got laid"***

2. did u hear about the boy that was born with no eyelids, well the drs did this revultionary surgery where when they did his circumsicion they used his foreskin to give him eyelids and now he's c0ck eyed

Answer 8

Happy and sad

A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband said, "I bet you can't tell me something that will make me feel happy and sad at the same time." The wife thought for a few moments, then said, "Your pen** is bigger than your brother's."

Answer 9

Did you hear about the scarecrow that won a Noble Prize?

He was outstanding in his field

Answer 10

Mummy mummy what's a lesbian?...Ask your father, she'll know.
Mummy mummy can I lick the bowl?...No, pull the chain.

Knock knock...whose there?...Paddy the burglar.

fobpunk whatever...what the hell is a Nunu???

Answer 11

Two cows standing in a field. One cow turns to the second and says "Have you heard of this mad cow disease?". The second cow responds, "Why do I care, I'm a helicopter!!!"