Jokes & Riddles - July 2007

One of the most wanted Top Contributor of Yahoo! Answers Jokes&Riddles Section ~ ~ ~ GAMER NIKKO ~ ~ ~ Woo Hoo XD XoxOXoxOxoXoXoxOxO

To start it off I'll make a joke Right On The Spot a.k.a ROTS
What do you do when you see a Car Rot?

feed it to the rabbits!

2007-07-29 02:45:06 · 3 answers · asked by caroline 5

would that be considered as ...................


CAT LITTER?????

2007-07-29 02:34:36 · 5 answers · asked by George C 2

Because it uses a pad !!

2007-07-29 02:10:48 · 17 answers · asked by Kunal B 1

Donald Rumsfield briefed the President of the United States this morning.

He told bush that three Brazillion soldiers were killed in Iraq.

To everyones amazement the colour drained from the presidents face, Then he
collapsed onto his desk, Head in hands, visibly shaken almost whimpering.

Finally he composed himself and asked Rumsfield.... "Just how many is a
Brazillion???"

2007-07-29 01:26:02 · 24 answers · asked by lilmissdisorganised 6

It's causing quite a bit of confusion; people can't figure out which side to spit on.

2007-07-29 00:18:00 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man went to a pet shop to buy a talking parrot for his wife. The owner of the pet shop asked
Did the gentleman’s wife know anything about parrots? He said “His wife said before they were married she had a cockatoo that why I’m buying the parrot “

2007-07-28 23:44:59 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-07-28 22:45:31 · 24 answers · asked by Alex 3

A little boy wrote to Santa ...

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

2007-07-28 22:15:17 · 9 answers · asked by hunnybuns 2

A Lonely Jew in Catholic School

A Jewish student was doing well in school in all subjects except for Math. So his parents decide to send him to a private Catholic school.
While there the boy came home from school and studied every day. At the end of the marking period the boy got straight A's. So his parents asked him, "What motivated you to do so well in school?"

He replied, "When I saw that guy nailed to a plus sign I knew they weren't fooling around!"

star is appreciated if u find it funny

2007-07-28 22:11:17 · 6 answers · asked by hunnybuns 2

just answer and get 2 points

2007-07-28 20:50:42 · 19 answers · asked by john 1

1) You think Possum is the other white meat.

2) Your husband spray paints the upholstery in the car to make it look new.

3) You've ever given Tupperware Ice tea "Glasses" as a wedding present.

4) You're dungarees expose more than half of your buttcrack because of the weight of you're pocket knife.

5) Your idea of heaven involves two shotguns and a keg of beer.

6)You picket you're horses on the lawn so you don't have to mow it.

2007-07-28 20:33:52 · 13 answers · asked by Jim Jnr M 6

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?"

No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, "You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents,
and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!"

The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?"

Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."

Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Billy," then turned to Mary and continued. "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:
One, you have a dirty mind.

Two, you didn't read your homework
Three, you will be very disapointed one day. .!

2007-07-28 20:30:13 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Something you can steal but cannot physically touch.

2007-07-28 20:21:03 · 16 answers · asked by TOP CONTRIBUTOR - FEMALE ORGASMS 1

Under or Over the roll ?!?
Now for me it is always over ... Very else to give it a good spind with one hand ... lol ... Just wondering about the rest of the world would do..by country if you could ... thanks .... =)
Oh by the way from canada my self...

2007-07-28 19:58:53 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them
and said that because they had been so good that each one of them
could have one wish.

The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.

Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...

Whoosh...immediatel y he turned ninety!!!

(Gotta love that fairy!)
star it if u like it:-))

2007-07-28 19:35:12 · 9 answers · asked by Soft Heart 6

Teacher: Why were you late?

Student: Well you see I got in a fight with this kid who said you WEREN'T the best teacher in the world!

2007-07-28 19:34:03 · 21 answers · asked by Carl 3

you have 12 balls same size and weight except one that is different, may be lighter may be heavier you don't know..
you have a balance scale where you can compare the weight of the balls, you're allowed to use it only 3 times to figure out the different ball.. can you? no tricks i assure you...

remember that you dont know whether the odd ball is heavier or lighter, you just know that it's different...maybe lighter maybe heavier.

2007-07-28 19:06:26 · 13 answers · asked by Olita 4

First correct answer wins the round/points!

2007-07-28 18:01:42 · 11 answers · asked by CluelessOne 5

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.
"It's a period,'' said the little boy.

"Well, I can see that,'' she said, ''but what is so exciting about a period?''

''Damned if I know,'' said the little boy, ''but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself."

2007-07-28 17:59:37 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

a cane in the past...did he just recently start using a cane or walking device to assist him with his walking? Why?

2007-07-28 17:55:25 · 4 answers · asked by marcecore 1

What's the funniest thing you've seen on youtube lately? Please give me the tittle of the video or something close. I love you guys! Seriously. Who cares? I do! I care about you. yikes. What are you smoking? Who me? Yes you!

2007-07-28 17:44:29 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-07-28 15:48:39 · 16 answers · asked by mystery woman421 2

Bad Salesman

John was a clerk in a small drugstore but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted.

Bob, the owner, had about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last.

Just then a man came in coughing and he ask John for their best cough syrup. Try as he might John could not find the cough syrup. Remembering Bob's warning he sold the man a box of Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once.

The customer did as John said and then walked outside and leaned against a lamp post.

Bob had seen the whole thing and came over to ask John what had transpired.

"He wanted something for his cough but I couldn't find the cough syrup. I substituted Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once" John explained.

"Ex-Lax won't cure a cough!" Bob shouted angrily.

"Sure it will" John said, pointing at the man leaning on the lamp post.

"Just look at him. He's afraid to cough!"

2007-07-28 15:33:50 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

4 contruction worker, one blonde haired, one red haired, one chinese, and one russian, were one there lunch brake eating there lunch. the blonde haired guy had pb&j, the redhead guy had a tuna sandwish, the chinese guy had raman, and the russian guy had mac & cheese.
blonde: "aww! i'm sick of having pb&j! the next time i have it i will jump off this building!"
redhead: "the next time i have a tuna sandwish i will jump off this building!"
chinese: "the next time i have raman i will jum off this building!"
russian: the next time i have mac & cheese i will jump off this building!"

the next day the blone had pb&j, the redhead had a tuna sandwish, the chinese had raman, and the russian had mac & cheese, so they all jumped off the building and died. :(
at the funeral, the redhead, chinese, and russian's wifes were crying, but the blondes wife did not cry so the three wifes asked why and she said, "he makes his own lunch..."

2007-07-28 15:18:54 · 8 answers · asked by maghadeera 2

The son of a North American Indian has come of age, as he is the son of the Chief, he has the privilege of choosing two squaws from his tribe as potential brides. He chooses the two young ladies and as tradition has it, they both give him a challenge that has to be completed before their respective weddings. The first squaw asks her husband to be, to hunt and kill two grizzly bears, so that their hides can be used on their wedding bed, the other squaw, by far the prettiest, asks for a hippopotamus skin for her wedding bed! The young man sets off on his quests, returning after only one moon with the two bear hides, he then ventures out again to complete his second quest, many moons later he returns with a hippopotamus skin. Both, squaws, and, tradition satisfied, the weddings take place nature takes it’s course, and nine months later, the first squaw gives birth to a baby boy, soon after, the second squaw gives birth to twin boys!
Elated yet confused, the young man ponders the events and the resulting children, asking his father to help him understand why things have turned out the way they have, his father is just as perplexed and suggests he speaks with the tribes wisest elder, the elder quietly reflects on the young man’s question, then he leans forward and gives his answer, “Young Brave, the answer is quite simple, ‘the sum of the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaw on the other two hides!’”

2007-07-28 14:49:55 · 7 answers · asked by DEQSAN 2

the person with the most discriptive answer gets voted best answer!

2007-07-28 14:25:06 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

A physically large guy meets a woman in a bar, and after a number of drinks they decide to go back to his place.
As they are making out in the bedroom, just before the act, he stands up takes his shirt off, flexing his muscular arms and says: "See them baby? thats 100 pounds of dymamite!"
She begins to drool.
The man drops his trousers, stands in a bodybuilder pose and says:( referring to his bulging legs) "See those baby? thats 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She's aching for action at this point.
Finally he drops his underpants, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door.
He catches her before she gets out the door and asks: "Why are you in such a hurry to leave baby?"
She replies: "with 200 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, i'm afraid your going to blow!!"

2007-07-28 14:00:25 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-07-28 13:36:27 · 36 answers · asked by . 3

I have a serious issue. Do you mind me asking you a favour? Here's my dilema....I've been wanting this for a long time. I've been craving it for so long! I mean the memories of it going in hard and coming out soft; it's driving me insane! My tongue wrapped around it, licking up the juices. Ny mouth waters due to the strong urges. I can't help moan at the thought of each bite, for the flavour is too great! I need it, can't you see? So can you please help me? Well, now that I've chimed my heart out, here's my question........






















Can I have some gum?

(Smila, stop drooling! :)

2007-07-28 13:18:49 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

You know someone actually complimented me on my driving today.
They left a little note on my windscreen it says "Parking fine."
So that was nice.



Still makes me laugh today not sure about you miserable lot?? :O)

2007-07-28 13:17:23 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous