Jokes & Riddles - March 2007

this is an old one,but it makes me laff out loud all the time
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the days when you couldn't count on a public toilet facility, an
Englishwoman was planning a trip to India. She was registered to stay
in a small guest house owned by the local schoolmaster.

She was concerned as to whether the guest house contained a WC. In
England, a bathroom is commonly called a WC which stands for "Water
Closet". She wrote to the schoolmaster inquiring the facilities about
the WC.

The school master, not fluent in English, asked the local priest if he
knew the meaning of WC. Together they pondered possible meanings of
the letters and concluded that the lady wanted to know if there was a
"Wayside Chapel" near the house . . a bathroom never entered their
minds.

So the schoolmaster, with the help of the priest, got together the
following reply:

2007-03-27 20:31:56 · 10 answers · asked by shrijaliciousme 2

there is a foutain where if you sin and you drink out of it you will be forgivin. the sinners line up one by one and tell the preachers their sin this one guy comes up and starts to giggle the preacher told him to stop laughing and tell his sin but he couldnt so they sent him to the end of the line the next people come up tell their sin and drank from the fountain finally came the dude and by this time he is cracking up the preachers asked again and he answered....."i peed in the holy fountain"

2007-03-27 20:15:29 · 8 answers · asked by Katie L 2

Angry and hungry are two of them.
There are only three words in the English language.
What is the third word?
The word is something that everyone uses every day.
If you have listened carefully,
I have already told you what it is.

2007-03-27 20:05:41 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

there is this bathroom in some bar in new york city rumor has it that if you tell the truth then your wishes come true, but if you lie to the magical mirror it will suck you up. this brunette walks into the bathroom and tell the mirror,"i think i am the most beautiful woman in the world " the mirror suck her up. then a red head walks in and says i think i am the sexiest women ever" then the mirror sucked her up. after that a blonde walks in and says"i think" then the mirror sucked her up

2007-03-27 20:01:30 · 7 answers · asked by Katie L 2

2007-03-27 19:54:43 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

I don't know if this was ever posted here but I still cant figure this riddle I have heard one answer but it seemed to complicated to be right. Here's the question: You are trapped in a room with nothing but a dresser, mirror, and a hat. How do you escape? If anyone can answer this I would appreciate it!:)

2007-03-27 19:06:54 · 6 answers · asked by Yvonne Cesaro 6

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life!, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night" She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary." She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

2007-03-27 18:53:48 · 18 answers · asked by lulu 6

They Both Share The Same Middle Name.

2007-03-27 18:39:02 · 8 answers · asked by brillo 3

curious...

2007-03-27 18:37:35 · 16 answers · asked by ~*Pr1nc355*~ 2

A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies , "If your penis is as hard as y our elbow, I'm in Room 221."

2007-03-27 18:33:05 · 2 answers · asked by cicabunn 2

Here's mine:

"The Big Black Bug Bled Black Blood"

(try sayin' that 3 times fast!)

2007-03-27 18:11:51 · 12 answers · asked by Lefty 7

I dont mean to offend anyone you know there are brunette jokes..


A blonde thinks her boy friends cheating on her so she buys a gun. she goes home to her apartment and her boyfriends kissing a redhead she points the gun at him. But she becomes so overcome with grief she puts the gun to her head.
" Honey dont!" yells her boyfriend
"Shut up your next" said the blonde


A blonde is in a car crash her car is completley ruined but shes fine. The police man walks up and says "are you okay your car looks like a squashed accordian that an elephant stood on"
"Yeah I'm fine"
"What happened"
"Well I was driving and I saw a tree so I swurved to the left then I saw another tree so I swurved to the right. you probably get the picture..."
"Mam there's no trees on this road that was your air freshener"

Please tell me if you know any more!

2007-03-27 18:11:42 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-27 18:03:37 · 12 answers · asked by Caribou 6

So there was a little boy who father died in a car acciendent when he was 7.When the boy is old enough to drive he gets in a car accident.They RUSH him to the hospital, and as soon as they were about to give surgey, the doctor said, "I cant do this,Hes my son"
Who was the doctor?
*remember the Father died

2007-03-27 17:57:59 · 17 answers · asked by Princess A 2

chuck norris lost his virginity b4 his dad did

2007-03-27 17:56:51 · 14 answers · asked by jonny 1

2007-03-27 17:51:46 · 6 answers · asked by Bark at the Moon 6

2007-03-27 17:50:17 · 10 answers · asked by Bark at the Moon 6

just curious

2007-03-27 17:27:19 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

My little sister wants to know.

2007-03-27 17:26:05 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

The community room is way down the hall and yet I can still hear him. The guy is down there watching t.v. and coughing his cigarette guts out. It sounds so sick. Wouldn't it gag a maggot off a gutt wagon to have to listen to that hacking?

2007-03-27 17:20:54 · 5 answers · asked by grannywinkie 6

2007-03-27 17:12:28 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man was sick and tired of going to work everyday while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: Dear Lord, I go to work everyday and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen....God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put the groceries away, paid the bills and balanced the checkbook. He cleaned the cats litterbox and bathed the dog. By now it was already 1pm and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. (con't...)

2007-03-27 17:09:58 · 10 answers · asked by QDPie 2

kids joke!!

2007-03-27 17:05:27 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

i have often seen this word LOL in answers. what does this mean?

2007-03-27 17:00:54 · 10 answers · asked by prs 6

try this!!

2007-03-27 16:58:04 · 7 answers · asked by Ram 2

I want to diss people that have been buttheads at my school like shelby burnett. (basically i just want some burns and disses plz)

2007-03-27 16:48:44 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

A young boy went up to his father and said, "Dad, the teacher gave us an assignment to determine the difference between potentially and realistically. Can you help me?" The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if
she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that." So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that
money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!" The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him
in a heartbeat, are you nuts?!?!?!" (con't...)

2007-03-27 16:46:20 · 15 answers · asked by QDPie 2

Can you?
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v254/chapmanfilmgirl/DSC01504.jpg

2007-03-27 16:31:02 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous

how do u roll yur toungue and make the rrr sound? i cant do it but my sis can and its so aggrivating to see her do it!

2007-03-27 16:25:31 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

mfcs!!!!!!!!!!!!!plz help me

2007-03-27 16:24:41 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous