Jokes & Riddles - February 2007

2007-02-02 11:19:38 · 22 answers · asked by cut3ch1k12 2

E I F P Q

2007-02-02 11:16:35 · 19 answers · asked by Great Eskape 5

What do you call a donkey that hates to eat grass?

2007-02-02 11:14:42 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

An englishman, italian and a frenchman were arguing about who was the best lover. The Frenchman said
"After I make love to my wife I gently kiss her breast and she rises 2 inches off the bed in ecstacy."
The Italian said,
"After I make love with my wife I gentaly kiss her all down her body from her head to her toes and she rises 2 feet off the bed in ecstacy."
The Englishman said,
"After I have sex wi our lass I wipe me knob on the curtains and she hits the bloody roof."

2007-02-02 11:10:36 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

Here's the joke, and I dont get it..... A bartender was working one night and these 3 girls came in carrying a puzzle with a picture of the cookie monster on it and they were chanting "44 days, 44 days" and when the blondes came and sat down on the table, the bartender leaned over and asked her why they were chanting 44 days. The blonde said "because on the puzzle box it said 1-3 months and we finished it in 44 days." ..... I DONT GET IT? HELP ME

2007-02-02 11:02:22 · 18 answers · asked by yayme_denae 2

Alice is walking throught the forest of forgetfulness. She wants to know what day of the week it is. She stops and asks a lion and a unicorn. Now the lion lies all of the time on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. The unicorn always lies on Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

Alice asks the lion what day it is, he says, "Well yesterday was one of my lying days." Then she asks the unicorn and he says, "Yesterday was also one of my lying days."

What day is it?

And explain your answer, the best explanation gets 10 points

2007-02-02 11:02:01 · 12 answers · asked by Caitlin G 3

2007-02-02 10:48:32 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

there was two peanut walking down the street. one was a salted.....

2007-02-02 10:36:34 · 34 answers · asked by cparkmi331 3

touchdown

2007-02-02 10:32:48 · 21 answers · asked by joelinn1974 3

2007-02-02 10:31:26 · 7 answers · asked by pollywollydoda 3

kille didit cause the clues showed a person with no socks kille
did not take his shoes cause harry will see that he had no socks

2007-02-02 10:27:39 · 5 answers · asked by jeffson2 l 1

it is a riddle

2007-02-02 10:23:57 · 24 answers · asked by jaya 1

There are three suspects no1bartty no2 kile no3 herby. when harry investigates the crime scene area he finds clues that shows
the suspect wore took of theire shoes, and had no socks. when harry went outside to observe the 3 suspects he finds them each pulling pranks on each other.
bartyis sleeping, kile is tying bartys laces together, and
herby is lighting up some fire in kiles shoe. when kile is finished
tying bartys laces up he stands up and flames coverd his shoes
kile jumped up and down, harry thought it was dum of kile why
dident take off his shoes who stole harrys money and how......

2007-02-02 10:04:36 · 10 answers · asked by jeffson2 l 1

inserting a supository and asked her elderly husband for help
she bent down
and he asked " does it go in the brown hole or do i feed it to the turkey ? "

2007-02-02 10:02:41 · 14 answers · asked by swanning66 2

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

2007-02-02 09:55:09 · 10 answers · asked by Vanessa Anne Hudgens 1

I am a blonde but still, do you have any?

2007-02-02 09:54:35 · 7 answers · asked by Lucy 2

I recently got told this riddle or phrase-

When it rains walk between the drops

What does it mean???????

2007-02-02 09:45:14 · 11 answers · asked by huskersdude05 1

you know the answer without working it out eg just know it...then bog off...let those who want to work riddles out do so!!!!!!

A dad and his son are driving in a car when they are involved in a crash........the son is seriously injured and taken to hospital....the
dasd is killed outright.

At the hospital they rush the boy into theatre and call the surgeon...the surgeon arrives stands over the boy and says....i cannot operate on this boy he is my son....

how can this be

2007-02-02 09:39:26 · 28 answers · asked by cosmic 2

An old man and a teenager...The teenager had spiked hair in all colours...green red orange and blue, The old man kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find the old man staring at him every time.
The teenager looked at the old man and said, "Whats up never done anything wild in your life" and the old man said " yeah got drunk and i had sex with a peacock and i was wondering if you was my son"

2007-02-02 09:35:02 · 34 answers · asked by chris w. 7

If you had nuts on your chest, you would have chestnuts! If you had nuts on your wall you would have walnuts. So if you had nuts on your chin, what would you have?

2007-02-02 09:24:50 · 19 answers · asked by Rod Stewart 5

An English school teacher was looking for rooms in Switzerland. She called upon the local school master to help her find an apartment that would be suitable. Such rooms were found, and she returned to London for her belongings. She remembered that she had not noticed a bathroom, or as she called it, "a water closet." She wrote to the school master and asked if there was a "W.C." in or near the apartment.

The schoolmaster, not knowing the English expression, was puzzled by the "W.C.", never dreaming that she was talking about a bathroom. He finally sought advice from the parish priest. They concluded she must mean a Wayside Chapel. The lady received the following letter a few days later.



"Dear Madam :
The W.C. is located 9 miles from the house, in the heart of a beautiful grove of trees. It will seat 150 people at one time, and is open on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays.

2007-02-02 08:46:36 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous

what do you call a woman who has just lost 90% of her brai capacaty.........A widow

What does an man do when his national team has just won the world cup.......switch his playstation off and go to bed

whats the ideal woman....after sex she turns into a pizza and a six pack

2007-02-02 08:45:12 · 19 answers · asked by mowmowball 1

2007-02-02 08:42:16 · 12 answers · asked by wonder woman 4

2007-02-02 08:28:51 · 4 answers · asked by Mum3grls 3

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years.

One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

"Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post card today."

"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said.

The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without."

2007-02-02 08:27:20 · 15 answers · asked by Jay A 3

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cold cream on her face.

"Why are you rubbing cold cream on your face, Mummy?" he asked.

"To make myself beautiful," said his mother.

A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue.

"What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"

2007-02-02 08:22:26 · 14 answers · asked by Jay A 3

strange world were compliments are not unisex!!!!

2007-02-02 08:22:06 · 7 answers · asked by mowmowball 1

2007-02-02 08:21:37 · 47 answers · asked by stefan 3

Yesterday, scientists in the US revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.

To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.

2007-02-02 08:20:51 · 10 answers · asked by Jay A 3

He got caught pumping Ethyl !!

2007-02-02 08:20:49 · 4 answers · asked by John in AZ 4