Jokes & Riddles - February 2007

2007-02-04 19:15:44 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

How did you solve the problem? I'm stuck at home in the mornings.

2007-02-04 19:04:54 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-04 19:04:18 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

superman was sitting around at home really really bored, his two best mates batman and spiderman had gone fishing and he had nothing to do, so he decides what the hey? ill go for a fly around and c what is happening. The he sees wonderwoman laying naked sprawled out on the roof of a building, now superman has always had a thing for wonderwoman, so he flies down, does the deed an flies away . wonderwoman, says omg, what was that?, to which the invisible man replies, i dont know but it ****** hurt!!!

2007-02-04 19:01:08 · 12 answers · asked by sydneygal 6

2007-02-04 18:45:11 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-04 18:26:38 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

and says hello!! the girl replies in a loud voice for evreryone to hear ''what do you mean go to your place?'' The man embarassed and surprised goes to sit in another corner. The girl later goes to the man and says quiely ''sorry I am a psychology student and I am doing a research on how people react and deal with embarasing situations'', to which the man replies in a very loud voice, ''what do you mean 50 bucks an hour?''

2007-02-04 18:23:46 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

One night a guy dropped his girlfriend at her home.
As they were about to wish each other goodnight at the
front door,
the guy started feeling a little in the mood. With an
air of
confidence, he leaned with his hand against the wall
and smiling, he
said to her "Honey, would you give me a kiss?"
Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will
see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He
asked grinning at her.
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on!
There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!".
"No way, it's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?".
"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!".
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
"No, no. I just can't" "I'm begging you ... "
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and
the girl's elder sister showed up in her pajamas, hair
dishevelled, and in a sleepy voice she said,
"Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or
I can do it. Or if need be, mom says she can come down
herself and do it, but for God's sake and all of
ours....
TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE DOOR BELL!!"

2007-02-04 17:47:02 · 29 answers · asked by stone 4

''Have you heard my knock-knock joke?'' asked the blonde.

''No,'' said the brunette.

''Okay,'' said the blonde, ''you start.''

2007-02-04 16:38:20 · 21 answers · asked by Mary 6

Just wondering how many people from my are are from here. i'm close to The Roxy in Hollywood

2007-02-04 16:36:02 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

what is so special about the number "364"?

hint: gift

2007-02-04 16:30:53 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

IMAO-Laughing My *** Off...
LOL-Laughing/Laugh Out Loud...

Any more I'd forgotten?

2007-02-04 16:14:33 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Where would you be:

If - You had all the money your heart
desires?

If - You had no worries?

If - You came home
and the finest meal is awaiting you?

If - Your bathwater had been
run?

If - You had the perfect kids?

If - Your
partner was awaiting you, with open arms and
kisses?








So, where would you be?














Huh?














You'd
be in the wrong f*cking house!

2007-02-04 16:06:23 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous

George W. Bush, Laura Bush, and Dick Cheney were all on a plane heading back to Washington D.C.
George noticed he had a dollar in his pocket and he said to everyone, "If I threw this dollar out the window, I could make a person happy."

Laura then replied with, "Well, if I threw 100 $1 bills outside, I could make 100 people happy."

Dick then said(to impress everyone), "You know, if I threw 1,000 $1 bills outside, then I would make 1,000 people happy!!"

A flight attendant then walked by and said to herself, "If I threw all threw of them out, then I could make the world happy."

2007-02-04 16:03:19 · 13 answers · asked by pikachu is love. 5

a guy is in is front yard and he needs to do some raking. He can't find the rake anywhere-he looks in the garage, in the shed ,under the porch, then he sees his wife standing by their bedroom window.
She sees him at the same time. He decides he will motion to her that he needs the rake. He points to his eye, then to his knee and then takes his two arms and acts like he's raking . (get it so far? I (eye) need (knee) the rake(arm movements) She answers him by pointing at her eye,then to her chest(left boobie) then turns and points to her butt, then faces him again and puts her hand over her private area(like Michael Jackson does when he sings). He cant figure out her coded answer so he runs in the house and says honey I was telling you I kneed the rake! and she replies I know I was telling you.................I left it behind the bush. (eye, left tit,behind(butt)bush(her privates) Ha ha ha!!!!

2007-02-04 15:58:12 · 11 answers · asked by Happy Bunny to the rescue! 4

Have you ever noticed the braille writing on the drive-thru ATM machines?

Why do they have those if blind people can't drive?

2007-02-04 15:53:00 · 13 answers · asked by Ace 5

i prefer funny ones

here's mine

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I am hot
and you are not

burnnnn =)

2007-02-04 15:48:38 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am there in Missisippi but not in Nile

I am there in the ladder but not in the staircase

I am there in the hammer but not in the nails

But I am there both in happiness and in sorrow.

What am I?

2007-02-04 15:42:33 · 19 answers · asked by Traveller 5

2007-02-04 15:29:44 · 8 answers · asked by sk_feroz2006 1

2007-02-04 15:28:00 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

Then: you tell something you did when you were younger
Now: you tell something you do now that has changed from the previous and makes it funny

Do you know what I am talking about?

2007-02-04 15:24:50 · 7 answers · asked by Snow Leopard 3

What has a whole bunch of little balls ans screws old ladies?

2007-02-04 15:23:31 · 8 answers · asked by pollywollydoda 3

What has a whole bunch of little balls ans screws old ladies?

2007-02-04 15:22:40 · 3 answers · asked by pollywollydoda 3

So theres a man in the middle of a forest dead, the forest is on fire, but his cause of death was from drowning, there was no water close to him, how is this?

2007-02-04 15:11:03 · 13 answers · asked by krazeekrnxpnosaj 1

Mom: doctor,doctor!......help my son just accidentally swallowed a roll of film!!!!!!!!!
Dr.: hmmmm lets hope nothing develops!!!!

2007-02-04 15:09:27 · 15 answers · asked by Dane Cruz 5

A little boy gets his report card, and read he had all F's
He took it back to the teacher and said:

"Hell naw! - Throw Sum D's On That!!!!"

2007-02-04 15:04:19 · 7 answers · asked by ♥michele♥ 7

I was at the doctor for a check up, I was only 31 years old at the time. The doctor said to me, Look, let me tell what will happen to you, your overweight and most likely always have been, I said that is true. He said, your smoke cigarettes, I said for most of my life. He said, you are going to about 40-45 years old, one day you will be out on the golf course, you'll be about to swing the club and BANG, you will drop over dead from a heart attack.

I said NO WAY doc, how can you say that?

He looked at me as though I were crazy for doubting him. I said look doc, I don't even golf!

2007-02-04 14:46:11 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

1. If you have two half-brothers, would you have one brother?


2. Would the fraternity name S.ociety O.f B.oys be good?

2007-02-04 14:45:05 · 5 answers · asked by Ace 5

There was a man without eyes who saw pears on a tree. He didnt take any and he didnt leave any, how can this riddle be?


first right answer gets best answer. good luck

2007-02-04 14:41:59 · 11 answers · asked by MARY M 3

What is worth more: 1970 quarters or 2000 quarters?

2007-02-04 14:18:43 · 22 answers · asked by Ace 5