Jokes & Riddles - February 2007

she gave herself a tonsoloctimy a apacindectomy a hystroctemy and circumsised three doctors poor spelling i'm aware of it myself

2007-02-04 11:14:43 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Everyone tells me I've lost mine. I didn't even know I had one.

Throw me a bone here. What the hell is a gourd, and why should I care if I lost it?

But, they seem to think it's important, so I guess I'll look.

What does is look like? Where did you look when you lost your gourd?




Funny, noncaustic, answers please

2007-02-04 11:05:12 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

why do Kamakasi piolits where helmets?

(sorry spelling?)

2007-02-04 10:44:42 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

Clinton is sleeping and has a dream. In the dream, she sees George Washington's ghost.
"Mr. Washington, what should I do to help the country?"
"Never tell a lie"
An hour later she sees Thomas Jefferson's ghost.
"Thomas Jefferson, what should I do to help the country?"
"Leave it alone."
An hour later she sees Abraham Lincoln's ghost"
"President Lincoln, what should I do to help this country?"
"Go to the theater..."

2007-02-04 10:44:18 · 10 answers · asked by Lt. V 2

The Bears winning the Super bowl. Hahahaha!!! Thats a good one..eh?!?

2007-02-04 10:43:41 · 8 answers · asked by Dr.DRE 4

the couch is blue, the celing is blue, and even the t.v. screen is blue!

2007-02-04 10:36:34 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

Please help me because if i dont get any good jokes my boss is going to fire me!!!Please. Thank You.

2007-02-04 10:34:07 · 13 answers · asked by Liz 1

.... And is looking around at everyone’s costumes, she notices a guy there with no clothes on, completely naked except he has a empty glass jar over his p***s...
"What are you supposed to be?" asked the girl...
"I'm a fireman...." he replies "...Break the glass and I'll come as fast as I can!"

xx

2007-02-04 10:30:03 · 16 answers · asked by *BURNY* 5

Nothing. The two have never met.

2007-02-04 10:30:02 · 18 answers · asked by Dutchcrunch 2

it is a riddle if he was 8 when will he be ten!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-02-04 10:27:09 · 10 answers · asked by Miss Olkahoma 1

BECAUSE SHE WAS GOING TO SOME PARTY CAN'T TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-02-04 10:22:31 · 7 answers · asked by Miss Olkahoma 1

i have GPS and i still get lost... NO im not blond.

2007-02-04 10:08:39 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

Where can I get a short stand please?

2007-02-04 10:07:30 · 4 answers · asked by Plato 5

Because he couldn't look under it! I know, it's daft!

2007-02-04 10:02:19 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

tell me your favorite away message

2007-02-04 09:54:21 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

I don't think so, but some people I have told it to, thought it was a bit risque - are we not allowed to mention anyone's colour any more? Woud like a black mans opinion ideally, as if he's not offended, then my white pc mates can kiss my ***!
Heres goes:
A blackman walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.
The barman says I really like that, where did you get it from?
The parrot says, Africa, there's millions of them!

2007-02-04 09:44:12 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

I met this girl on line about a month ago, and even though its foolish, I fell for her instantly. Everything she was and everything I saw in her I wanted, She says she felt the same way, And even told me that she loved me with in days of meeting me, I went to New York a few weeks ago to meet her for the first time, She was in the hospital, Then we went to her house, We did our thing and I said something to make her not like me anymore. I guess I was being condicending. Well anyways she drove me home and I didnt want her to leave. We kissed and held each other when she dropped me off. I felt heartbroken, She confused me totally, And i think I am in love. I barely talk to her anymore, but I keep her pictures beside my bed and I cant help but feel that my soulmate is gone. What should I do? I wrote her a long letter and am planning on sending it to her with her pictures back. Am I psycho? am I a stalker? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT SHOULD I DO. I AM IN LOVE WITH HER

2007-02-04 09:37:06 · 16 answers · asked by spidy 1

rich people dont have it but want it and poor people have it but dont want it.

2007-02-04 09:36:50 · 15 answers · asked by LizzyBear yaay 1

gary gliter goes to the doctor
"how may we help sir?"
" i have a 12year old crack adction"

(sorry spelling again)

also if a gay man jumped on ur back , would u toss him off ?

2007-02-04 09:34:23 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-04 09:33:56 · 5 answers · asked by Ms.J 2

Say the following name 3 times in a row :

Peggy Babcock

2007-02-04 09:33:48 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

!!!!!!!!!i like away messages!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-02-04 09:32:07 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven.
At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said "I want to hang out with God."
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced him to God.

God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley Davidson motorcycle?"
Arthur said, "Yep, that's me."

God said, "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?"

Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally he said, "Excuse me, but aren't You the inventor of woman?"
God said, "Yes."

"Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major
design flaws in your invention:

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusions;
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds;
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much;
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;
5. And the maintenance costs are enormous!;

"Hmmmmm, you have some good points there," replied God, "hold on."

God went to His Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours."

2007-02-04 09:28:54 · 8 answers · asked by MynameisShirl 5

2007-02-04 09:24:24 · 3 answers · asked by pollywollydoda 3

2007-02-04 09:24:10 · 4 answers · asked by pollywollydoda 3

worst book he ever read !

(sorry about spelling?)

2007-02-04 09:21:36 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-04 09:21:07 · 26 answers · asked by Alicat 6

what goes up but never down?

2007-02-04 09:19:54 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time


What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.


Why do men name their privates?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.

How are men and parking spots alike?
The good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped or extremely small.


A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!!"
The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "*****!!!"
They each continue on their way, and ..... as the man rounds the next
corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road ..... and dies immediately.
If only men would listen.

Enjoy!!

2007-02-04 09:18:11 · 9 answers · asked by ok 2

like this BEAR DOWN CHICAGO BEARS

2007-02-04 09:14:24 · 1 answers · asked by janet s 1