Jokes & Riddles - February 2007

Best answer gets it!

2007-02-08 13:34:30 · 8 answers · asked by Pivoine 7

No Cheating!!!! No Internet Searching!!!! That is what makes this Fun! Fun! Fun!

Type out the Oscar Mayer Wiener Song, While You sing it! Make Sure you sing it real loud,

optional, You can record yourself singing it and put it on You Tube for us all to watch, if so Post us a link!

Have fun. I will pick the most fun, best answer to win!

2007-02-08 13:24:11 · 7 answers · asked by wyldeyezz 1

Quenstion - What do they call british people in iceland?

Answer - Poland!

2007-02-08 13:24:01 · 10 answers · asked by TastelessFish 3

Question - Who dies in a hotel honestly...?

Answer - Anna Nicole Smith

2007-02-08 13:15:28 · 14 answers · asked by TastelessFish 3

Are you we todd did or are you sofa king we todd did?

2007-02-08 13:11:53 · 13 answers · asked by Stewart G 1

You're in a room with 100 people. You're all asked to write down a number between 0 and 100 on a piece of paper.

The numbers will be averaged and whoever guesses 2/3rds of the average is the winner.

What number would you choose?

2007-02-08 13:07:53 · 13 answers · asked by ? 3

I once found a bunch of mangos...

2007-02-08 13:05:31 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

#1 why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory

she took out all the w's

#2 So there's this blonde and she's drivin down the highway in her sports car. she pulls over when she's another blonde on the side of the road in a boat paddling. she yells to the blonde in the boat "HEY! IT'S BLONDES LIKE YOU THAT GIVE US A BAD NAME! WHY IF I COULD SWIM, I'D COME OVER THERE AND KICK YOUR BUTT!!!"

#3 there's a blonde just drivin along and there's a cop behind her just drivin along and she looks in her rearveiw mirror and swerves to the right! then looks again and swerves to the left! the cop finally manages to pull her over and askes her why she did that. she replied "well every time i look in the mirror there was this big tree in front of me!"



if you didn't get it: #1 m upside-down is w #2 she's stupid #3 she had an air frenshener

2007-02-08 13:05:23 · 14 answers · asked by T1G 2

The new country song Missing Years

2007-02-08 13:05:02 · 4 answers · asked by lanebaby67 1

please help solve theses riddles for me please -

1 - 100 keys, but only 1 opens the door. What are the other 99 keys for?

2-100 flowers in a garden ;100 weeds. What percentage of the whole did the gardner plant as seeds?

2007-02-08 13:04:03 · 7 answers · asked by needsomehelpplz 1

alright this my second riddle my other was already answered(FYI the one about 31 out of 43) if anyone answers this ANSWER FULLY AND EXPLAIN WHAT EACH PART MEANS!!!

2007-02-08 12:55:11 · 4 answers · asked by mikey b 2

a little racist but still funny

A foreman was assigned three new workers; two big strong local men, and a little guy from Japan. Because of their size, the foreman gave the two locals the digging work, and told the Japanese man "You'll be in charge of supplies."

After an hour or so, the foreman came back to check on their progress only to find the two locals sitting down doing nothing. "What happened? Why aren't you at work?"

The men replied that their tools were broken and that the Japanese man in charge of supplies, had disappeared.

Worried, the foreman ordered the two men outside the mine to help look for the little guy.

Just when they were about to give up the search, the Japanese guy jumps up from behind a rock and yells "Supplies!!"

2007-02-08 12:47:28 · 22 answers · asked by T1G 2

really hard riddle!

2007-02-08 12:43:38 · 12 answers · asked by irish girlie 1

not my best but here goes

so this 3-legged dog walks into a saloon and he says to the bartender "i'm lookin for the guy who dun shot my paw"

for those of u who didn't get it when he says paw he means like his dad it's like a play on words

2007-02-08 12:42:58 · 8 answers · asked by T1G 2

I wanna see good jokes even though i know so many and funny pics, 2!!
NOT TOO LONG JOKES, PLEASE!!
love u!!
hugs
HYPER

2007-02-08 12:42:13 · 5 answers · asked by Funky Disco 3

If i can get through boot camp i should be allowed to help take this fight to the enemy were ever they are

2007-02-08 12:37:12 · 4 answers · asked by Raymond B 4

2007-02-08 12:34:48 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous

one bright day in the middle of the night.
two dead boys got up to fight,
back to back they faced each other,
drew there swords and shot each other,
a deaf police man heard the noise
came and shot the two dead boys,
if you do not believe this lie is true,
ask the blind man he saw it too.

the name of this rhyme is " the backwards rhyme"

2007-02-08 12:34:03 · 20 answers · asked by God loves you 2

the only remote sameness is the slack jawness the question is how about you

2007-02-08 12:29:26 · 5 answers · asked by Raymond B 4

How is it that the surgery i had in levenworth made me so happy this is a wonderfull thing that has happened to my arm my question is this what happened between surgery and the dom clinic or what ever it is you want to call william jefferson clinton building or maybe you can use word recongnition to call to attention to drug interaction in the pharmacy

2007-02-08 12:26:13 · 2 answers · asked by Raymond B 4

My then 4 yr old son asked ... "Mom, can we take Kayla back to walmart ... we don't want her anymore."

That is where we get everything ... and that is where we take things when they don't work out.

2007-02-08 12:19:20 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

motorway.He approaches and say's"Sir i need you to blow into this breathalyser". The man immediatly reaches into his poket and produces a letter which read's,"This man suffers from asthma.Please dont make him perform any action that will leave him short of breath.the officer say's "ok! then i need you to come to the station to provide a blood sample".But the man produces another letter and this one reads,"This man is a haemophiliac, please do not cause him to bleed".So the cop says"Fair enough, in that case, i need a urine sample".The man promptly produces a third letter, which reads"This man is a heart supporter, please dont take the p##s out of him

2007-02-08 12:16:26 · 6 answers · asked by driverfus 2

A woman finally gets her husband to join her in church. During the ceremony, he keeps falling asleep. She nudges him but he doesn't respond and she doesn't want the preacher to see him sleeping during the sermon. Preacher asks .... "what would you say if I told you ... Hes coming again soon?" The woman sticks her husband in the leg with a hat pin .... and he yells "Hey!"
Pastor ... concurs and says ... "Amen!" Pastor says ... the greatest man you'll ever know ... The woman sticks her husband again to wake him up! He says "Jesus!" Pastor very happy that he is participating so well.... Pastor continures. Says ... what do you think Eve felt when Adam decided they were going to have their 30th child? She poked her husband real hard again because he started to snore ... and he jumped to his feet and yelled. "Got darn it woman! You stick that thing in me one more time ... and I'm gonna break it off ... and stick it in you." Pastor said ... Amen to that!

2007-02-08 12:08:53 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

Pub regular, Old Sid says this will slay you.
A novice golfer can't wait for his instructor to turn up and hits a ball straight into the road. It hits a lorry driver in the head and his artic crashes head-on into a full coach. The coach and the artic lock, skid together across the road and smash into a block of flats, bringing down the entire building. The horrified golfer looks on helplessly as his imstructor arrives. "God, did you see what I did?" the novice cries, "What should I do?" The instructor says "I keep telling you, your grip is way off, hold the club so....."

2007-02-08 12:02:29 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

1day
you'll b
surprised
2C ME
beside U.
U+ME
laughing,
U+ME
crying,
U+ME
dreaming
U+ME
holding on,
2gether....
just u&me
sitting in a
MENTAL HOSPITAL.
but i'll love you mate even though
i wont know who the F*** you are!!

2007-02-08 11:59:37 · 14 answers · asked by MICHELLE 2

I can only remember part of this rhyme, does anyone know the full version? The part i know is...

Ask no questions, tell no lies,
have you ever seen a policeman doing up his
flies are a nuisance, bees are a pest
and this is the end of my funny verse.

Anybody got any ideas?

2007-02-08 11:58:19 · 8 answers · asked by Unhinged.... 5

i would really like to now how i can do a flip and fall into a bridge but i cnt do a cart wheel is it jsut me or is it my body? please help me

2007-02-08 11:55:50 · 4 answers · asked by Emma<33 1

At my school for $.50 you can buy a Valitine candygram. You write the persons name your sending it to, there jump-start class (the class thats like 10 minutes long thats before your 1st hour. and then you write a little message then your name. There is this girl, she is the hottest girl in my school, and thats who I written the note to. Then there is this kid thats really weird but he thinks he is pretty cool. So I put his name in the From line. Then in the message I put "we should get to know each other. Call me." then I put a random number. So tommorrow she is going to get this note with a sucker (you have to turn in the note to the people you buy it from so they can send it) I know she is going out with someone but I know that this isn't going to do anything to there relationship. And I'm not doing this to pi ss him off I'm doing this to see the look on her face when she sees his name! And lastly a few friends helped me do this!

2007-02-08 11:51:58 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

I need to make a animated button or graphic for my website. I need to know a website to make one on or something ! Please help !

2007-02-08 11:50:03 · 6 answers · asked by WebJunkie 1

be available under its chemical name. please ask your pharmacy for MYCOXAFLOPIN.

2007-02-08 11:45:42 · 14 answers · asked by MICHELLE 2