Jokes & Riddles (Entertainment & Music) - January 2007

9 ⤊

What can be driven....?

although it doesn't have wheels...sliced but stays whole?

2007-01-25 18:32:28 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

0 ⤊

Why there is no Cheney question posted?

I just found out, the automatic scanning code in the Yahoo Answer look for some forbidden words. If any question contain Cheney's first name, it will get removed programmatically.

So, word your question with this work around: Do not write his first name in the question, use vice president or something

2007-01-25 18:21:44 · 4 answers · asked by Tia T 3

3 ⤊

i am born twice, i have wings but i am not bird. Who am i ?

2007-01-25 18:06:54 · 17 answers · asked by Sasi k 1

2 ⤊

Funny or not?

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment... Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens.

One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."

"What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"

"Very good," said the teacher.

Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market.

We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, "don't count your chickens before they're hatched."

"That was a fine story Sarah. Michael, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen.

Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in the Gulf War and her plane was hit.

She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete.

She drank the whisky on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.

She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets.

Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. Then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

"Stay the f#ck away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking"

2007-01-25 17:53:43 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

5 ⤊

Winter Blonde?

WINTER BLONDE

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up.
She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks
on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says
"Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your
load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches
up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on
the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've
never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi, my name is
Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his
head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the
street.

At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All
out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks
on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window.
Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing
some of your load! "When the light turns green the trucker
revs up and races to the next light.

When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck,
and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and
after she lowers it, he says... "Hi, my name is Kevin. It's
winter in Michigan and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"

2007-01-25 17:32:18 · 13 answers · asked by Jodi C 5

7 ⤊

A new riddle for tonight.?

Cut me, I promise that I'll never bleed.
I'm often a want, but seldom a need.
Women will tease me, to show that they care.
Men will ignore, then cry when I'm not there.
I don't win or lose, but sometimes I tie.
Sometimes I wave, but I never say 'bye'.

2007-01-25 17:19:52 · 12 answers · asked by balderarrow 5

3 ⤊

I don't get this joke??

My mum's friend told her n i was there too. This is the joke:

Q. What's the hardest thing about cooking vegetables in the microwave?
A. Getting the wheelchair in.

I don't get it??

2007-01-25 17:19:21 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2 ⤊

Can you solve this Riddle?

Three men stop at a motel for the Night. The Desk Clerk tells them the Room is $30.00. So each man gives $10.00 then goes to the Room. The Desk Clerk realizes he made a mistake, the Room is only $25.00. So he tells his assistant take $5.00 back to the men. on the way he wonders how to divide $5.00 between 3 people so he decides to give each man $1.00 and keep $2.00.

Now with each man getting back $1.00 that means they spent $9.00 each. 9 x 3 = $27.00 the assistant kept $2.00 that's $29.00.

What happened to the other Dollar?

2007-01-25 17:17:10 · 12 answers · asked by mr_nice_guy 1

1 ⤊

Crazy indirect proof riddle.. can you solve it?

One of four children ate the last piece of lasagna. When questioned they responded as follows:
Joan: I didn't eat it.
Leo: Martha ate it
Ken: Leo ate it.
Martha: Leo is lying.
If only one of the four children lied, who ate the last piece?

2007-01-25 16:58:34 · 19 answers · asked by Joanna 2

15 ⤊

please help! i need a short clean joke?

for school tomorrow in front of my class!

2007-01-25 16:49:38 · 30 answers · asked by ms. clean 2

2 ⤊

did you hear about the blonde that returned her scarf to the store? she said it was too tight!!!?

2007-01-25 16:47:28 · 10 answers · asked by ferrisandclarence 2

2 ⤊

Now that you know you can't rollerskate in a buffalo herd, what will we do?

2007-01-25 16:46:06 · 8 answers · asked by Gnome 6

0 ⤊

If i married two midgets ..would that be Bigamy? get it big of me?

2007-01-25 16:39:49 · 18 answers · asked by ferrisandclarence 2

2 ⤊

Can someone help interpret this dream I had yesterday?

I was with a young lady. We met a 40 something engineer somewhere along a busy road. This chap drove a trailer and was laying a very long cable in the centre of the road. But what was unique about it was that tied to the long cable every 100 yards or so, he had fishing hooks of all sizes. We trailed him for a while and wondered what he was doing – laying the long cable with hooks. Eventually his cable laying ended a few kilometers to where his hotel was. We asked him what he was doing – so queer and so bizarre! He said he was going fishing and hoped to catch fishes that would be worth at least $1.5 million. Admittedly some parts of the cable were sunk into the ponds along the way but this was no way to catch fishes especially when he laid his line and hooks on roads!! I asked him how is it that no one stopped him from laying cables “Not to worry” was his answer. “The police know about it. They think I am crazy, well I am going to prove them wrong".

2007-01-25 16:31:27 · 6 answers · asked by Casey 1

1 ⤊

Does a crowded elevator smell different to a midget?

2007-01-25 16:18:00 · 17 answers · asked by Tammers 4

5 ⤊

Riddle [ The Well ]?

A Snail is at the bottom of a 30 foot well. He wants too get out. Every day he climbs up 3 ft and slides back 2 ft. How many days will it take him too get out?? [ If you get a point 0n 1]25 you got it right.]

2007-01-25 16:08:14 · 16 answers · asked by johnnybegood 3

1 ⤊

can you guess what orgnaization this is?

this isn't really a riddle, but can you all guess what organization has these members where:

36
Have been accused of spousal abuse

7
Have been arrested for fraud

19
Have been accused of writing bad checks

117
Have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

3
Have done time for assault

71,
Repeat
71 cannot
Get a credit card due to bad credit

14
Have been arrested on drug-related charges

8
Have been arrested for shoplifting

21
Currently Are defendants in lawsuits, and

84
Have been arrested for drunk driving
InThe last year

Can
You guess which organization this is?

2007-01-25 16:06:40 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

10 ⤊

joke contest?

who can tell me the most funniest joke thatis appropiate and not violent

2007-01-25 15:59:46 · 17 answers · asked by bassooncrazy 2

9 ⤊

Hurry..first to list wins 10 points!?

State capitals...
What 4 are named after U.S Presidents...name the state too.
What 4 are French?
What do Trenton, Concord, Santa Fe and Albany have in common?

2007-01-25 15:56:53 · 21 answers · asked by Sam I Am 3

0 ⤊

riddle, see if you can answer it?

A group of indians catch you and want to kill you. They want to make it interesting so they let you have one statement to say. If you tell the truth, then you get thrown down a cliff. If you lie, then you get thrown into a pit of hungry animals. What is the statement that can save your life?

There is only one statement that can save your life. If you don't know if it is the truth, the indians will decide, so know that you can not havea statement with any heaven or down at he__ stuff. Got it?

Also, tell why you think you're correct.

2007-01-25 15:48:28 · 3 answers · asked by bassooncrazy 2

3 ⤊

Why is thick sliced bread more expensive than normal stuff when the actual loaf is the same size?

if anything it should be cheaper............
someone help me out here , is it just me?
not sure which category this falls into so i suppose ill stick it in here.

2007-01-25 15:17:57 · 13 answers · asked by Fran G 4

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