Jokes & Riddles - January 2007

Gaze at this sentence for just about sixty seconds and then explain what makes it quite different from the average sentence.
Quick! What is it?

2007-01-06 18:53:50 · 15 answers · asked by Jibbs Boo 2

A painter had lived in his loft for six months, and by now it was filled with the paintings he had created.

He worked day and night, stopping only occasionally for something to eat. He thought little about food and less about sleep. But what he thought about least of all was his rent.

As a result, his landlord now stood before him, demanding the three months' rent the painter owed on the loft.

"Give me a couple of weeks," teh painter pleaded. "I know I'm on the verge of making some sales."

"Absolutely not," the landlord said. "You gave me that story last month. You won't get another day's credit from me."

"Look," the painter said, "think of it as an investment. Someday this loft will be famous, and you'll be able to charge a fortune for it.

In a few years, people will come into this disgusting loft and whisper, 'That great painter used to paint here.'"

"Pay your rent now," the landlord said, "or they'll be able to say it tomorrow morning."

2007-01-06 18:41:26 · 3 answers · asked by Oh My God! 6

2007-01-06 18:33:35 · 12 answers · asked by brian c 1

You feed a dog and the dog says mmm thank you. You must be God.

You feed a cat and the cat says mmm thank you. I must be God

2007-01-06 18:00:13 · 12 answers · asked by Jessica's advice 2

2007-01-06 17:58:22 · 9 answers · asked by Phillip 4

He who gives his exact answer will receive a 10$ reward from me..............Come on friends!!!!!!!!

2007-01-06 17:57:24 · 17 answers · asked by Konfuzius 3

Is this where we get wire wool from

2007-01-06 17:56:50 · 3 answers · asked by colin050659 6

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070107/ap_on_re_us/train_fatal

2007-01-06 17:56:41 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Guess the answer Its not on the internet.
I bet ya its a hard 1

2007-01-06 17:40:27 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-06 17:36:13 · 13 answers · asked by ganesh p 1

That's what i hear, and from the looks of it, it seems true.

2007-01-06 17:27:19 · 13 answers · asked by Johnny Vegas 2

a)fire
b)water
c)wind
d)nature
e)lightning
f)ice

wud u be: good/evil

wat wud u do
a)build a kingdom and make everyone obey you
b)help others with your power and kill all evil
c)create a small island with your power and live your life


after 14 people had submitted i shall tell what you are
GOOD LUCK

2007-01-06 17:26:49 · 22 answers · asked by あみ 2

a blonde got tired of all these jokes about blondes being dumb so she died her hair red went for a ride,

she came upon a farmer herding his sheep. she went twards him and said "if i guess how many sheep you have here would you let me have one?" the farmer thought it was a fair bet so he said "okay" she looked oround and said "you have exactly 356 sheep" stunned the frmer said "take your pick" and she pick one that she was truly fond of and sat down to pet it.

when the farmer came back he said "if i guess what your natural hair color is will you let me have my sheep back?" she said "sure"
he said "your a blonde now give me my dog back!"

2007-01-06 17:25:39 · 19 answers · asked by liltrackstar94 2

A 80 yr old nun goes to see a ginacolgest. when the doctor is through checking her he says, everything looks alright except for one thing.
The Nun ask whats that? the dodcor said, Looks like you've got the crabs.
The Nun looks at him and says I can't have the crabs I'm a 80 yr old Nun. I've NEVER had sex. she is so upset she leaves his office and goes to another doctor. As he is checking her she tells him what the other doctor told her. He said Well the other doctor was wrong. You don't have the crabs. Your cherry is so old you have FRUIT FLIES

2007-01-06 17:25:14 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

My son has learned the art of joke telling. He's been telling the "Why did the chicken cross the road?" joke so much that we are all going crazy. After hearing it for the 9,000th time the other day, I decided to use the fact that as his father, I am never wrong to my favor and I answer, "The chicken crossed the road to get away from the Colonel." My son, paused, smiled at me and said, "Dad, you're right, but why did the other chicken cross the road?"

Someone please help me. Real life event. Please rate how funny you think this is from 1-5. 5 being hilarious.

2007-01-06 17:08:18 · 11 answers · asked by Wise ol' owl 6

There were three girls riding in a truck, A brunette was driving, A redhead was in the passinger seat and a blond was in the back of the truck.
The truck was going 70 Mph straight for a cliff and when all of a sudden breaks went out.
The brunette opens the door and jumps out.
The Redhead sees that the brunette jumped out so she opens her door and jumps too.
While they are laying on the ground they see the Blond go over the cliff.
WHY DIDN'T THE BLOND JUMP?










She couldn't open the tailgate.

2007-01-06 17:03:21 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

I'll give you a hint.
Take the "F" out of free what do you get?
Take the "F" out of way what do you get?

2007-01-06 17:03:09 · 7 answers · asked by peaceoutxcubscout 2

A woman enters a resteraunt and asks for a cup of water the waiter pulls out a gun and aims it at the woman the woman now has a big grin on her face and says to the guy with the gun "Thank You." Why does she smile and say thank you? p.s. its not because she wants to die

2007-01-06 16:51:09 · 24 answers · asked by tlmesi 2

YOUR FINGER POKED THRU THE TOILET PAPER?

2007-01-06 16:45:22 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-06 16:19:19 · 16 answers · asked by ? 4

What is the funnest joke you ever heard.The one that makes me laugh out loud well be the best answer.But make it simple.

2007-01-06 16:16:04 · 18 answers · asked by ♥sweety♥ 1

A 16-year-old boy was driving a moped down a one-way street in the wrong direction. A policeman stopped him and gave him a ticket. The policeman paid the ticket himself. What is a logical explanation for this?

2007-01-06 16:12:26 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

> > 0
> > 6. ------------
> > M.D.
> > Ph.D.
> >
> > Ans. = two degrees below zero
> >
> > knee
> > 7. ------------
> > light
> > Ans. = neon light (knee-on-light)
> >
> > ground
> > 8. ---------------
> > feet feet feet feet feet feet
> > Ans. = six feet underground
> >
> >
> > 9. he's / himself
> >
> > Ans. = he's by himself
> >
> >
> > 10. ecnalg
> >
> > Ans. = backward glance
> >
> >
> > 11. death ..... life
> > Ans. = life after death

> > 12. THINK
> > Ans. Think Big
> >
> > 13.
> > ababaaabbbbaaaabbbbababaabbaaabbbb....
>> long time no 'c'(see)

2007-01-06 16:08:54 · 5 answers · asked by Nocturnal Supremacy 3

Sat. morning mr. says to wife,say honey, go make the coffee please.
she say's I m not supposed to.---He says, well sure, you always have.Why not now?-----She says The bible says lits your job..-----He chuckles and says prove it please. ---- She says,l Itsd the 19 book of the new testament , He brews. ---Her husband went and made coffee. Did you enjoy it? Please let me know.

2007-01-06 16:01:52 · 11 answers · asked by swamp elf 5

2007-01-06 15:48:51 · 5 answers · asked by ? 4

Which of the following statements are true?
1. At least one of these ten statements is false.
2. At least two of these ten statements are false.
3. At least three of these ten statements are false.
4. At least four of these ten statements are false.
5. At least five of these. ten statements are false
6. At least six of these. ten statements are false
7. At least seven of these ten statements are false
8. At least eight of these ten statements are false.
9. At least nine of these ten statements are false.
10. At least ten of these ten statements are false.

2007-01-06 15:41:24 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

At noon and midnight the hour and minute hands are exactly coincident with each other. How many other times between noon and midnight do the hour and minute hands cross?

2007-01-06 15:39:26 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.

2007-01-06 15:38:05 · 19 answers · asked by Jessica's advice 2

What object has keys that open no locks,
space but no room,
and you can enter but not go in?

2007-01-06 15:37:43 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-06 15:34:54 · 9 answers · asked by mdevito18 2