Jokes & Riddles - January 2007

How do you call an image made of a word, in which the letters are streched so they must be viewed from an angle (like 70-80 degrees) You can find thiese in newspapers, usualy. THIS IS INPORTANT>
if you can't figure out what I mean, here's an image I made. Should be enough,
http://img145.imageshack.us/my.php?image=untitledtg6.png

2007-01-15 10:43:27 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

I think I'm fat but everyone says i'm not. I know they're lying because everyone who sees me will know Im fat. I do not eat any sweets or chocolates or any fatty food and I eat only a tuna sandwich and a cup half full of water a day. I exercise like 6 hours on a tredmill everyday. I've ran out of options so I am now going to eat nothing except water.

2007-01-15 10:36:13 · 20 answers · asked by Asian Princess 2

and say's "when ever i su*k charles c*ck i get indigestion.!"

the doctor replys have you tried andrews.!

uk thing.

2007-01-15 10:33:31 · 17 answers · asked by Mr (FnC).. Frogncat 5

If you get it right you get 10 points.

2007-01-15 10:31:59 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-15 10:28:48 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

Not a joke...just wondering...As a woman has a period every 4 weeks in effect she would be out of work a quarter of the year ...Hmmm

2007-01-15 10:24:03 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-15 10:23:18 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

... which is stupid, because the second guy should have ducked when he saw the first guy walk into the bar.

2007-01-15 10:23:07 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2 pretzels walk into a bar and 1 one of them left in an ambulence. What happened to him?

HE WAS A-SALT-ED!

2007-01-15 10:21:52 · 35 answers · asked by Hank 5

tell me any jokes that you know please cuz i have to know some by the end of the week please!!!!!or else they will fire me

2007-01-15 10:21:27 · 11 answers · asked by Lizzy 1

2007-01-15 10:21:27 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-15 10:20:04 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-15 10:19:56 · 7 answers · asked by boombabalala 1

anyone have any 185 bar jokes!!!!

such as:

185 apples walk into a bar, and the bartender says "sorry we don't serve your kind here," and the apples say "your rotten to the core!!!"

little puns!!!! PLEASE give me some. ANY!!!!!!!!!!

also, if you have any other small joke puns (one liners) go ahead and say them!!!

2007-01-15 10:19:36 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-15 10:18:26 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

A duck walks into a pub and says to the barman..
got any bread?
Barman: No we don't sell bread
Duck: Got any bread?
Barman: No i just said we dont sell bread
Duck: Got any bread?
Barman: I just fu*king told you WE DONT SELL BREAD!
Duck: Got any bread?
Barman: If you ask me that again i'll nail your fu*king beak to the fu*king bar.
Duck: Got any nails?
Barman: No
Duck: Got any nails?.

2007-01-15 10:16:12 · 23 answers · asked by Loo 4

Do you remember this little ditty from your childhood?

2007-01-15 10:10:22 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-15 09:58:25 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-15 09:57:01 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-15 09:54:39 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous

What word does not fit, father uncle sister neice cousin aunt brother son grandmother nephew grandson granddaughter

2007-01-15 09:54:39 · 17 answers · asked by manueldb1@sbcglobal.net 1

I Like my favorite Very Love Different my clothes Fashison

2007-01-15 09:50:16 · 1 answers · asked by gloria j 1

A young man joined a monastery and took a vow of silence. Every day he worked hard in the fields and never said a word. After ten years, the Abbot summoned him. "Brother, it is ten years since your vow of silence. On this special day, you may speak. Do you have anything to say?" He said, "The food is terrible!" Ten years later, he was again summoned to the Abbot's office. "Brother, it is now twenty years since you joined us. Again, on this special day you may speak." The monk said, "The bed is too hard", and walked out. Ten years later he was again called to see the Abbot. "It has been thirty years since you took your vow of silence, brother. Is there anything you would like to say?" Said the monk, "I'm resigning." The Abbot replied, "Yes, I'm not surprised. You haven't done anything but complain since you got here!"

2007-01-15 09:47:47 · 21 answers · asked by Cowboy 4

2007-01-15 09:44:17 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man was being given a hand job by his girlfriend, lost in pleasure, he loses control of the car, hits the barrier the car then flips over twice and slides down the embankment, his girl is thrown through the windscreen and hits a tree and dies instantly. The rescue teams arrive and proceed to cut the man from the wreckage. A cop sees that the man is crying and sobbing hysterically and so tries to calm him he says "Easy buddy calm down you should think yourself lucky your girl was killed but you're still living" "lucky!", wails the man "lucky ! you go and see what she's got in her hand!"

2007-01-15 09:38:05 · 18 answers · asked by abraxas5597 2

well, do you?

2007-01-15 09:30:54 · 13 answers · asked by Sara H 1

I am a common object enjoyed by both sexes, normally about 8 inches long, with little hairs on one end, and a hole on the other. For most of the day I am laying down, but I am ready for instant action. When in use, I move back and forth and in n out a warm, moist hole. When the work is finally done, a white, slushy, sticky mush is left behind, and I return to my original position. Cleaning is usually done after I am. What am I? Why, I am your very own...Toothbrush! What were you thinking, you pervert?

2007-01-15 09:30:25 · 18 answers · asked by Mr.Why? 2

A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer."

The receptionist says, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week."

The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." Once again the receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week."

The next day the guy makes his regular call to the law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer."

"Excuse me sir," the receptionist says, "but this is third time I've had to tell you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?"

The guy replies, "Because I just love hearing you say it!"

2007-01-15 09:28:08 · 8 answers · asked by *♥short~sh!t♥* 3

types of spaghetti.............well what did you think i meant?.....you have a dirty mind if you thought something else!

2007-01-15 09:23:10 · 20 answers · asked by crazeeladee no more 5

i'd like to thank all the people that helped me, i was looking for a job online, to earn some extra money and two guys refferd me to http://www.treasuretrooper.com/212559......
and it's a great site, i can earn money, play games and have fun, time passes so fast .....thank you

2007-01-15 09:16:59 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous