Jokes & Riddles - December 2006

i smart feller
i feller smart
it takes smart feller to say feller smart

share it with a friend and have a laugh when they mess up

2006-12-02 14:27:43 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

What is the proper sentence:
The egg yolk is white...OR
The egg yolk are white

2006-12-02 14:24:50 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

When I'm laughing, smiling, and friendly joking people realy take me seriously. I think we all know that it's just a fun little joke but later find out I'v been taken seriously. Example: I tell one of my friends to "Bring it on!" and act scared when she jumps up tward me. Everybody busts out laughing and another friend of mine says "You need to controll you're emotions, the way you're smiling and laughing makes it seem like you're joking!", and I respond "I was joking!", and everyone's like "What!" Why am I never taken seriously.

2006-12-02 14:14:13 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

(This is a joke to amuse those who will get it. I do not condone eating children unless it is in a Swiftian way.)

2006-12-02 14:12:40 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

And? Best ending to the joke gets 10 points.

2006-12-02 14:07:51 · 8 answers · asked by Free Ranger 4

2006-12-02 14:03:49 · 9 answers · asked by Jay A 1

This is about the Cleveland Browns football team.
There was a boy in Juvenille Court
He was there because his parents beat him all the time so they had to try to find him a new home
The judge told him he would live with his auntie
He just broke out in tears
The jugde said"don't you like your auntie little boy?"
"No,she beats me too"
"what about your grandma little boy?"
"No she beats me too"
They had to through his whole family but they learned that domestic violence was through his whole family
"Well,who do you want to live with then?"
"I want to live with the Cleveland Browns team" "Why do you want the Brownsto own you little boy"
"Because they never beat anybody"
Somebody told me that joke and i was dying what do you think about it you guys?
They really do suck
At first i didn't know it was a joke everybody i told laughed at it

2006-12-02 13:55:51 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

A guy walks in to his bird class and sees 4 birds with paper bags over their heads so that only their feet show. The guy said "This is stupid." The teacher said "You are supposed to tell the kind of bird by their feet. Now, what is your name?" and the guy lifts up his pant leg and says "I don't know, you tell me!"

2006-12-02 13:40:54 · 20 answers · asked by greenschoolfriend 2

what is this (.Y.)

i know!!!


first correct aswer wins!!

2006-12-02 13:29:19 · 4 answers · asked by stephen 1

What is black, white and red all over!!! (and no it is not a newspaper!!!)

A hint it does invovle a zebra but no sunburn!!!

2006-12-02 13:27:18 · 21 answers · asked by Tee-Tee 2

Grandma n Grandpa are sitting on there pourch watching the sun go down, g-ma says g-pa remember how we use to hold hands,so g-pa grabs g-ma's hand,g-ma says g-pa remenber how you use to kiss me on my cheek,so g-pa leans over and kisses g-ma on her cheek,g-ma says g-pa remenber you use to nibble on my ear,g-pa gets up starts going into the house,g-ma says were you going ,g-pa says,To the bathroom to get my TEETH...

2006-12-02 13:20:10 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida,
his wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email,
unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her email address,
he did his best to type it from memory.

Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an
elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before.

When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor,
let out a piercing scream and fell to the floor in a dead faint, at the sound,
her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen.....


DEAREST WIFE...
JUST GOT CHECKED IN...
EVERYTHING PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW...

P.S.
SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE.

2006-12-02 13:16:01 · 7 answers · asked by smile♥ 3

You know when you use your keys to make a smiley face or snowman or bunny...be creative please!
()()
(o.o)
(u u)

2006-12-02 13:10:42 · 9 answers · asked by Jackie 1

Please share :D
I'm looking for a really cool,original one!

2006-12-02 12:59:03 · 28 answers · asked by Jackie 1

where do they bury the survivors?

2006-12-02 12:57:48 · 41 answers · asked by diane c 3

2006-12-02 12:53:53 · 14 answers · asked by eeyore_alleycat 1

The president is not in his/her office at this time. Please leave your number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password.


Thanks for calling the psychic hotline. I'm not in my office right now, but leave your number and what you think of when you hear the following: orange, mother, unicorn. Also, leave me a brief history of your childhood. Thank you.


Hi, this is YOUR NAME's refrigerator. The answering machine eloped with the tape deck so this is my job for a while. Leave a message and I'll stick it to myself so that YOUR NAME receives it promptly.


This is you know who, I'm you know where, leave your you know what, you know when.


Hi, now you say something.


This is not the pizza place, so please do not leave an order or Luigi will come after you again. Jeez!


YOUR NAME's palace of pleasure. If you are a man/woman, leave your phone number and a brief description of yourself. If you are a man/woman hang up the phone and don't call back. I'm not gay.

2006-12-02 12:44:52 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have a name,
When my name is spoken,
I am broken.
What is my name?

2006-12-02 12:40:30 · 27 answers · asked by Halliwell 1

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There were three fathers to be in a hospital waiting room, waiting for their babies to be born.

The first nurse comes out and tells the first father, "Congratulations you're the father of twins!" He says, “Great! I am the manager for the Minnesota Twins.”

The second nurse comes out and tells the second father, "Congratulations you're the father of triplets”! He says, "That's cool! I work for 3M."

The third father opens the window and jumps out.

The third nurse comes out, and asks, “Where's the third father?"

One of the other fathers said, "Oh he jumped out the window.”

The nurse asks, "Why?"

He replied, "He works for Seven Up!"

2006-12-02 12:34:32 · 35 answers · asked by Dharshi 2

How do you confuse and idiot?

Put him in a round room and tell him to fine a corner.

How does it confuse you?

He finds one.

2006-12-02 12:29:08 · 7 answers · asked by zzap2001 4

what do u do if a kerry(place in ireland)women threw a grenade at u?
pick it up ,take out the pin and threw it back.

if a kerry women was hanging from a tree how do u get her down?
wave at her!!!!!!!

how did the kerry women breack her arm racking leaves?????
it was the middle of spring!!!!!!!

and lastly ... wen does a kerry womens restraunt close?
for luch!!!!!!!!!!

2006-12-02 12:21:12 · 5 answers · asked by michaeljoyzer 2

A woman went in to the doctors office she was 5"3 when she left she was 5"0. what happened?

2006-12-02 12:19:00 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

I want the mine to read "Sorry, I'm not in right now. Please leave a message!"

2006-12-02 12:10:11 · 10 answers · asked by Cindy S 4

2006-12-02 12:06:00 · 19 answers · asked by jim r 1

One morning this blonde calls her friend and says "Please come over and help me. I have this amazing jigsaw puzzle and I can't figure out how to start it."

Her friend asks "What is it a puzzle of?"

The blonde says "From the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

The blonde's friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He takes a look at the puzzle pieces for a moment and begins to laugh hysterically!

He says to her, "No matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these puzzle pieces. Put these Frosted Flakes back in the box!!"

2006-12-02 12:01:00 · 23 answers · asked by Dharshi 2

One fall day, Dave was raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog and then about 200 men walking in single file.
Intrigued, Dave ran up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse.
"My wife", the man replied.
"I'm sorry", replied Dave. "What happened to her?"
"My dog bit her and she died".
Dave then asked the man who was in the second hearse.
The man replied, "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well".
"Can I borrow the dog?" says Dave.
"Get in line," replied the man

2006-12-02 11:56:35 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-02 11:52:57 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

You know like 'how do you make a hormone? don't pay her' kinda jokes or 'i went fishing in miami....and caught a cuban' names some more please!!!!

2006-12-02 11:50:14 · 4 answers · asked by Shorty 4

What is black, white and red all over!!!
(and no it is not a newspaper!!!!)

2006-12-02 11:44:46 · 28 answers · asked by Tee-Tee 2

once upon a time in a land far away.There was a little girl named Little Red Rideinghood.One day her mother called to her and said,I need you to take this basket of fruit to your grandmother,But I want you to be very carefull Becaus that Big Bad Wolf is out there and he will PULL YOUR LITTLE RED DRESS UP and PULL YOUR LITTLE RED PANITYS DOWN and F_CK the HELL OUT OF YOU.So she takes off walking through the woods.About a half mile away from the house she runs across her dad. Her dad asks where are you going? She replys, I'm on my way to grandma's house.Ok but you be carefull that Big Bad Wolf is out there and he will PULL YOUR LITTLE RED DRESS UP and PULL YOUR LITTLE RED PANITYS DOWN and F_CK the HELL OUT OF YOU.Ok daddy I'll be carefull.So she takes off walking through the woods.All of a sudden the wolf jumps in frount of her.She drops the basket and pulls her little red dress up and her little red panties down.Big bad wolf says,I'm going to F_ck you.she says NO the story says u EAT me

2006-12-02 11:35:48 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous