The president is not in his/her office at this time. Please leave your number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password.
Thanks for calling the psychic hotline. I'm not in my office right now, but leave your number and what you think of when you hear the following: orange, mother, unicorn. Also, leave me a brief history of your childhood. Thank you.
Hi, this is YOUR NAME's refrigerator. The answering machine eloped with the tape deck so this is my job for a while. Leave a message and I'll stick it to myself so that YOUR NAME receives it promptly.
This is you know who, I'm you know where, leave your you know what, you know when.
Hi, now you say something.
This is not the pizza place, so please do not leave an order or Luigi will come after you again. Jeez!
YOUR NAME's palace of pleasure. If you are a man/woman, leave your phone number and a brief description of yourself. If you are a man/woman hang up the phone and don't call back. I'm not gay.
2006-12-02 12:44:52 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Lmao, the last one of your's is HILARIOUS!
The answering machine on my friend's cell phone goes like this...
Hey! *short pause* What's up? *long pause* Nothing much, I've just been chillin' at my house *short pause*, Oh yeah! LEAVE A MESSAGE!
It's flipping funny, cause if you call him, you'll think he's having a conversation with you if you... it works most of the time...
2006-12-02 12:55:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi. This is (BLANK):
If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
If you are my parents, please send money.
If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money.
If you are my friends, you owe me money.
If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.
Hi this is BLANK. If you are an ex-boyfriend/girfriend, suck it up and move on. If not, I do have a life that is obviously being used so leave a message and if I have time, ill try to squeeze you in.
Hi. If you are a burglar, checking to see if anyone is home, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message.
hi you've reached the home of (name) also known as 007 agents if you get this machine we are probably saving the world this tape will self destruct in 5...4...3...2...1... (BEEP)
Hi! Jan's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
2006-12-02 20:54:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
lol!! my friend has one that says
Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line until we can trace the call. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
mine says
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet, and so are you
The roses have wilted, the violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head
The roses stink, sorta like sheep
But leave your name, number, and message after the beep
The roses are molding, the violets are rotten
And I might call you back, if I haven't forgotten
2006-12-02 20:52:23 · answer #3 · answered by Jessalyn N 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i only have three messages that i have used
1. hi i am out in the o zone, if and when i get back to earth i will call you back if you leave your phone number.
2. hi i wish not to answer right now, if you have known me for at least five years, leave a message, if under five years, then i have a message for you, [then i tape a little of ray charles's HIT THE ROAD JACK
3. this is bubbles pool hall, i am busy racking right now, leave your diggets, and i will do what i want about them
2006-12-02 20:49:53 · answer #4 · answered by walterknowsall 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I like this one:
Hi. If this is the IRS, I already gave you your money.
If this is Bill from the office, I'll try to get you your money.
If this is the plumber, I'm still working on that money.
If this is a hot blonde, I've got plenty of money.
2006-12-03 00:05:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave your message after the tone. If your a telemarketer gladly talk about your offer towards the machine, dont forget to call me 2morra.
2006-12-02 20:55:22 · answer #6 · answered by Jan 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry I can't come to the phone right now. Just leave your name, number, and i will try to get back to you. And one more thing, your sister was an animal last nite!
2006-12-02 20:50:38 · answer #7 · answered by generalgrievous16 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
(In a computer sounding voice) Hello, this answering machine has been confiscated by the FBI. The person you are calling is not avaliable.
2006-12-02 21:20:13 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer Gayle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haler, nobody wants to pick up the phone right now. just leave your name or number so you can return the favor.
Hello... uhuh... yeah... ok... sure... whatever... could you repeat the question? (isnt AI answering machines brilliant?)
2006-12-02 21:01:42 · answer #9 · answered by DelVinci 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey! I can't hear you. What is wrong with your phone? Are you in a dead spot? Hello! I still can't hear you. Just call me back on a better phone. (Beep)
2006-12-02 20:54:26 · answer #10 · answered by myst69angel 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋