Jokes & Riddles - December 2006

Last time, we saw this following riddle:

How were Saturday and Sunday able to beat up on other days?
A: Because those other days are weak days!

Hehhe... And here is today's riddle:

How can you tell that Pac-man is winning the race?

Have fun! :)

2006-12-09 17:43:52 · 7 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

Hehe first one to get it right gets 10 points.

2006-12-09 17:30:38 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-09 17:27:16 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

and she went back to Him and told Him it was very uncomfortable to have three boobs...so he removed one and handed it to her. After awhile she returned and said, "God, what am I supposed to do with this extra boob?" God said, "Give it to me" and He took that boob back and then created man.

2006-12-09 17:26:30 · 10 answers · asked by Raven 5

A kind man comes across a market place, a voice says to him "Coconuts, $5 a dozen" With his lightning quick arithmatic he calculates that if he sold those same coconuts to the coconut whole saler to the accepted rate of $3 per dozen that in no time at all he would be a millionare. What's with this guy, assuming his math is accurate?

2006-12-09 17:20:10 · 8 answers · asked by ☺•˚ºo(█?) 2

Is it any wonder that my wife is fat? She just asked me "Honey, will you please make me a sandwich as long as Europe? That's a pretty damned long sandwich!

2006-12-09 17:12:50 · 12 answers · asked by ? 4

Two women that are both blonde were driving together down a hill.
Suddenly, the brakes fail and one blonde says "Oh no, we're gonna crash.
The blonde in the passenger seat says "Don't worry, there's a stop sign."
Then the blonde driver says "I'm not dumb okay, that's yeild sign."

2006-12-09 17:08:55 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

what is your faviorte movie in the hole world? anwser please! mine would have to be superman returns!

2006-12-09 17:01:15 · 11 answers · asked by PIRATE LOVER FOREVER!!!! 3

2006-12-09 16:58:23 · 8 answers · asked by bubbles 2

A man wanted to enter an exclusive club but did not know the password that was required. He waited by the door and listened. A club member knocked on the door and the doorman said, "twelve." The member replied, "six " and was let in. A second member came to the door and the doorman said, "six." The member replied, "three" and was let in. The man thought he had heard enough and walked up to the door. The doorman said ,"ten" and the man replied, "five." But he was not let in.

What should have he said?

Think about it........

2006-12-09 16:52:02 · 13 answers · asked by ☺•˚ºo(█?) 2

A paraplegic after a house fire.

2006-12-09 16:52:01 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Scientists have proven that cats have more hair on one side then their other side. Some people believe that this is because when cats lay on their side they need insulation from the cold on the floor or ground. Which side of a cat has more hair?

2006-12-09 16:37:34 · 8 answers · asked by ☺•˚ºo(█?) 2

"You're good at ciphers, aren't you, Dad?" said PEggy
"I've solved a few in my time," said her father.

"Have a stab at this one." On a half-sheet of paper Peggy had printed:
IMPS ELUDE
NEWS-RIME
-NERO

"It doesn't seem to make much sense said Peggy's father. "What's the big idea?"
"Transliteration," said Peggy.
"Absurd, my good girl. There's not nearly enough material."
"I knew you'd say that," said PEggy, grinning. "Have a go, all the same. It has been described as too wonderful."
Can you-with the aid of the hint-transliterate Peggy's cipher?

2006-12-09 16:33:20 · 6 answers · asked by enigma 1

your worship (honor)

2006-12-09 16:22:51 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Entertain me .

2006-12-09 16:05:47 · 12 answers · asked by Wonder woman 1

Stupid questions

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?

2. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?

3. Why can't woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?

4. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say
"hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"?

5. If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit?

6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

7. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

8. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries
have a use by date?

9. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a
horrible crisp no one would eat?

10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think i'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

11. Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream?

12. If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?

13. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

14. Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ***?

15. Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

2006-12-09 15:40:44 · 32 answers · asked by me here, where are you? 3

I was just thinking:

How would diaper checks be run in a daycare type of enviroment? Tons of kids, how would you know who made a mess, or if any of them made a mess? How do you check?

2006-12-09 15:37:55 · 2 answers · asked by Catherine 1

Two sort of racist jokes...sorry if I offend any of you!

1) How do you find the population of Mexico?
Roll a peso down the street.
How do you find the richest man in Mexico?
It's the person that picks up the peso.

2) What do you call a bunch of white guys running down a mountain?
An avalanche.
What do you call a bunch of black guys running down a mountain?
A mudslide.
What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a mountain?
A jailbreak!

2006-12-09 15:13:05 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-09 15:11:29 · 5 answers · asked by g unit 1

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read:

"Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight. - Your Husband"

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:

"Dear Husband. You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Don't wait up."

2006-12-09 15:05:59 · 27 answers · asked by asheslovesjoel 2

this is a joke m y friend heard on the radio and told me. get it right, and you'll have my best answer!

2006-12-09 15:04:38 · 35 answers · asked by ellen 2

the answer is not: bc he was was stuffed is not it!!

2006-12-09 15:03:29 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

1)Two blondes are walking in the forest when they come across marks in the ground.

One says to another, 'Oh, look at the deer tracks!'

'Those aren't deer trucks, you dumb blonde!' says the other. 'They're bear prints.'

'Deer tracks, you dumb blonde!'

'Bear prints, you dumb blonde!'

Next day's headlines : Two blondes killed by train in forest.


2)A blonde with two burnt ears went to the doctor, who asked what had happened.

"The phone rang, and I accidentally picked up the iron."

"What about the other one?"

"They called back."

2006-12-09 15:02:42 · 17 answers · asked by hey 4

I am new to your culture. I have been watching Basketball. Apparently a new season has started. My friend told me that the game is governed by the NBA. From what I can see does this mean **** Be Airborne.

2006-12-09 14:47:41 · 10 answers · asked by Jimfix 5

What is the difference between a porcupine and the white house?
A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside.

How do yo turn a stick into a tree-trunk?
Put a ring on her finger

What is the difference between a g/f and a wife?
25 kilograms

What is the difference between a b/f an a husband/?
25 minutes

2006-12-09 14:39:01 · 11 answers · asked by Waar was jy by 1

Brunette:Why were indians the first in america?
Blonde:idk
Brunette: because they made reservations
Blonde: ok i get it here ive got one
Blonde:why was the cookie the first one in the hospital? Brunette:because he crumbled
Blonde: no he made reservations

2006-12-09 14:26:30 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

I told ur mom to stop wearing Blue Lipstick she makes my balls look like smurfs . hehe

2006-12-09 14:25:12 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

2006-12-09 14:21:01 · 12 answers · asked by asheslovesjoel 2

Q: "How can you tell a blonde has lost her virginity?"

A: "Her crayons are still sticky.."

2006-12-09 14:17:54 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No I deer.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no eye deer.

2006-12-09 14:16:11 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous