Jokes & Riddles - December 2006

2006-12-09 14:15:14 · 17 answers · asked by chryssybrat495 1

Four Gay guys in a hot tub, A condom pops up, Whats the question?

..................Who Farted

2006-12-09 14:14:21 · 7 answers · asked by SweteCHeekz 1

Are you harboring a fugitive- Hu Yu Hai Ding

See me A.S.A.P. - Kum Hia Nao

Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni

Your price is too high - No Bai Dam Thing

Did you go to the beach - Wai Yu So Tan

I bumped into a coffee table - Ai Bang Mai Ni

I think you need a facelift - Chin Tu Fat

It's very dark in here - Wai So Dim?

Has your flight been delayed? - Hao Long Wei Ting?

That was an unauthorized execution.- Lin Ching

I thought you said that you going on a diet - Wai Yu Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone. - No Pah King

You are not very bright - Yu So Dum

I got this for free - Ai No Pei

I am innocent - Wai Hang Mi?

Please, stay a while longer - Wai Go Nao?

Our meeting was scheduled for next week - Wai Yu Kum Nao

They have arrived - Hia Dei Kum

Stay out of sight - Lei Lo

He's cleaning his automobile - Wa Shing Ka

Does this bathroom stink! Hu Flung Dung?

2006-12-09 14:13:23 · 10 answers · asked by they're savages 5

Last time I went, I got a hair cut by a velosaraptor, a tattoo on my nuts, a Prince Albert, a graphic on my *** hairs, and a new tattoo on my chest that says "Big D**k Willy".

2006-12-09 14:02:00 · 5 answers · asked by Music=Life 1

My Dog Peed on my cable box, and now it is broken. how many bateries does a cable box need.. please help me..

call this # ask for george (me), or Dutchie (my wife)

2006-12-09 13:59:47 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

If the pope pooped in the middle of the woods and there was no one around to hear it, would the woodchuck who chucked wood be catholic? There is an answer!

2006-12-09 13:54:19 · 15 answers · asked by shanerox2005 1

Once Upon A Time, there were three campers named: Shut Up, Trouble, and Manners.

Trouble got lost, so Shut Up and Manners went to the Police Station. Manners stayed outside.

"What's your name?" The police chief asked.

"Shut Up." Shut Up replied.

"No, really." said the Police Chief.

"Shut Up." He replied once again.

"Where's your manners?!" said the Police Chief.

"Outside." Shut Up said.

"Are you looking for trouble?!" yelled the Police Chief.

"Yes."

2006-12-09 13:49:38 · 16 answers · asked by they're savages 5

FIRST person to give me the correct title to these five songs gets the best answer. You don't have to know the artist, but if there were a tie...it might help.....

1. "A mother riding on a city bus
Kids are yelling kicking up a fuss
Everybody's staring not knowing what she's going through"

2."Well I come from the country and I know I ain't seen it all
But I heard that oceans salty and the stars they sometimes fall
But that would not do justice to the way I feel for you
So I have to sing this song about all the things I knew"

3."They don't rate with the guys that score
Cause they don't flaunt what the boys want more"

4."I'm not afraid to fall
it means i climbed up high
to fall is not to fail
you fail when you don't try"

5."What if the armies of the Lord
Picked up and dusted off their swords
Vowed to set the captive free
And not let satan have one more"

2006-12-09 13:48:09 · 4 answers · asked by Julia 4

TEACHER: Why are you late?

WEBSTER: Because of the sign.

TEACHER: What sign?

WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

2006-12-09 13:43:19 · 16 answers · asked by they're savages 5

2006-12-09 13:30:36 · 18 answers · asked by Kellie 2

You turn it upside down!

2006-12-09 13:30:34 · 11 answers · asked by texasblueslady 3

You are out in the freezing temperatures in the middle of nowhere. You finally come to a small cabin. When you walk in there's an oil lamp, a fire place, and a candle. You only have one match. What do you light first?

I heard this at school and I wanted to see if anyone could get it. It's pretty simple.

2006-12-09 13:12:39 · 31 answers · asked by NONAME 2

What's more powerful than God, the rich don't want it, the poor have much of it, and if you eat it you'll die?

I dont understand this riddle, I can't figure it out....help?

2006-12-09 13:07:45 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have asked this question about 10 times but its fun! Here is the first part of the song:So what you see is only half the story theres another side of me im the girlyou know but im someone else too if you only knew its a crazy life but im alright.10 points who answers it first and right!!

2006-12-09 13:05:40 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-09 13:00:05 · 25 answers · asked by Master John 1

2006-12-09 12:57:42 · 13 answers · asked by wilbur2lot 3

2006-12-09 12:56:50 · 8 answers · asked by mike 1

there r 2 sisters, one blonde, one brunette. they hav 600 dollars to spend to buy a new bull. the brunette goes out and finds a bull for 599 dollars. she buys it, so she only has 1 dollar left to get a message to her sister to come and get her. she goes to a telegraph place and asks the secratary how much it cost per word. the secratary replied "1 dollar per word" the brunette thinks, then she asks to send the word "comfertable" to her sister. the receptionist looked at her, and the brunette said "my sisters blonde... she reads slow, so when she reads it, she will read
"come-for-da-bull".

2006-12-09 12:56:30 · 13 answers · asked by xojessox 5

2006-12-09 12:55:15 · 25 answers · asked by texasblueslady 3

A British Airways passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone into a good mood as he served them food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing this big scary plane shortly lovely people, so, if you could just put up your trays, that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines." he said, "I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us onto the ground".

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one." To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat,

"Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, b!tch.

2006-12-09 12:39:56 · 17 answers · asked by a m 4

I was eating in my kitchen this morning, I had burritos. This fat Mexican threw a flashbang into my living room and scared the **** out of me. He was going after my crack again. He had an AK47, but I was much more prepared, I grabbed a kitchen knife and said "Stop it or I will call the cops on you" Was this a good decision?

2006-12-09 12:36:43 · 12 answers · asked by Ai 1 1

Well, you should.....


....wait a minute, though....maybe you shouldn't..after seeing some actual labels manufacturers put on their products..

http://www.rinkworks.com/said/warnings.shtml

2006-12-09 12:36:21 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-09 12:35:09 · 18 answers · asked by janice w 1

Here is a list of genuine courtroom questions and answers.

You won't believe some of them.

http://www.rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml

2006-12-09 12:32:54 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

tell me the best joke you got!! explain why it is funny.

2006-12-09 12:31:52 · 8 answers · asked by wayne b 1

there was this thing in my yard. it looked like a kitten so i followed it. them i saw it was a possum. i was makin all these sounds tryin to get it to play dead. but it didnt even stop and listen.so i ran after it. it saw me from the corner of its eye and turned around, bit a weed, and hissed at me. i screamed and ran back to my house!

2006-12-09 12:29:39 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-09 12:21:24 · 5 answers · asked by cg 2

Looking for the best and freshest snap. Be Brutal!!! 10 points to the winner.

2006-12-09 12:19:24 · 15 answers · asked by Laughing Man Copycat 5

I live in a four by four foot house. All the wall are south facing. The walls make a square. What color is the bear?

2006-12-09 12:19:16 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

as i was goin to saint ives
i met a man with seven wives
each wife had seven sacks
each sack had seven kittens
each kitten had seven mice
each mouse had seeven pieces of cheese
cheese, mice,kittens,cats, and wives
how many were going to saint ives

2006-12-09 12:13:33 · 18 answers · asked by corrave123 4