2006-12-09 17:27:16 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
a gorgeous woman walks into the doc's office and the doctor is about to examine her. He asks her to take off her clothes and bend over and asks "do you know what I'm doing now?" she replied "yes making sure I don't have any back problems" he then starts feeling her breasts and asks "do you know what I'm doing now?" she replied "yes checking for cancerous lumps" all of a sudden he starts having sex with her and says "do you know what I'm doing now?" she replied "yes getting herpes, that's why I'm here."
2006-12-09 18:34:40 · answer #1 · answered by Jeremy 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Subject: Redneck Vasectomy
After having their 11th child, a Tennessee couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive.
A less costly alternative, said the doctor, was to go home, get a cherry bomb, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
The Tennesseean said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."
"Trust me," said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:
"1"
"2"
"3"
"4"
"5"
At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, and resumed counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works in Missouri, Mississippi, Arkansas and Alabama.
2006-12-09 17:35:48 · answer #2 · answered by Dale T 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A plumber hands a doctor the bill for fixing his plumbing. The doctor yells "Man! I never got this much when I made house calls!" The plumber says "Yeah, I didn't get that much when I was a doctor"
2006-12-09 17:31:46 · answer #3 · answered by bigfoot 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There was a doctor that circumcised baby boys. He saved all of the little foreskins and had them made into a wallet. His friend asked why he would do such a thing.
The doctor replied "It is a great wallet, and when you rub it, it turns into a suitcase"
2006-12-09 17:31:03 · answer #4 · answered by maamu 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The duck came into a doctors office and said"do you got any grapes?"
The doctor says not course not I'm a doctor
so the duck leaves and comes back the next day and says
"you got any grapes?
The doctor again says NO now get out of here.
this happens eery day for a week then on the last day the doctor says "if you come ask for grapes again then I will nail your beak to the floor!!!!".
so the duck leaves and comes back the next day and says" you got any nails?"
The doc says "No, why do you ask"
then the duck says "you got any nails"
2006-12-09 17:35:18 · answer #5 · answered by 1-4-all 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Two men were at a urinal. The first guy asks the second guy "You were born at East County Hospital weren't you?" Second guy gives him a strange look and says "yeah, i was". First guy then asks "And you were delivered by Dr. Smith, correct?" Second guy says "yeah, I was". First guy then asks "And Dr. Smith also circumcised you, didn't he?" Second guy by this point is really wondering what's going on but answers anyway. "Yeah, he did. How do you know all this?" First guy says "He circumcised me too. He always cuts to the left, and you're pissing on my boots."
2006-12-09 17:50:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up a point or more?
Doctor: Sell!
2006-12-09 17:29:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
a doctor shoved his finger up this guys a'ss, the guy says doc i'm not here for a rectal exam, the doc says, and i'm not a doctor
2006-12-09 17:29:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
guy goes to his doctor and says "doctor you gotta help me i have this recurring dream I'm a tee-pee, I'm a wig-wam I'm a tee-pee, I'm a wig-wam"
doctor pats him on the shoulder and says "relax your too tents"
2006-12-09 17:30:12 · answer #9 · answered by diamonddude1234 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
~It's not really a joke, but my OBGYN has a sign on her door that reads "Deliveries through the rear only".
Best doctor joke I know is that quack that they send all the welfare surgeries to.
2006-12-09 17:29:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋