Jokes & Riddles - December 2006

computer mouse changed

2006-12-13 08:24:41 · 8 answers · asked by honeybear37211 2

2006-12-13 08:24:32 · 1 answers · asked by ~♥~ *CHEEKY* ~♥~ 6

There was this muscular man and this thin but busty woman who meet in a bar, they start talking having a few drinks,a few drinks turns into alot, until the man asks the woman if she wants to see his house, so now hammerd she says "what the hell sure lets go". so there at his house where the drinking continues after awhile they start to get horny. so they start getting touchy feely she takes off his shirt and says " O MY WHAT A NICE CHEST YOU HAVE" he says "YEAH THATS 100 POUNDS OF DYNAMITE BABY" so next she takes off his pants and says "O MY WHAT NICE LEGS YOU HAVE" and he says "YEAH THATS 100 POUNDS OF DYNAMITE BABY". so now by this time all that is left is his underwear, she starts to take them off and all of a sudden she takes off running yelling an screaming. so he puts his pants on and catches up to her and asks why did you leave she said "I DIDNT WANT TO BE AROUND ALL THAT DYNAMITE WITH SUCH A SHORT FUSE"

2006-12-13 08:22:59 · 10 answers · asked by ploppy pants 3

5 mins later she goes out for dinner with him. how can this be?

2006-12-13 08:22:32 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party.

Then he had a bright idea.

When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on... just a pair of pants.

"What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host.

"A premature ejaculation." said the man - "I just came in my pants!"

2006-12-13 08:18:19 · 29 answers · asked by ploppy pants 3

Paddy is walking down the street and see's a sandwich with wires sticking out of it.He immediatly phones the police to report it.'is it ticking' asks the policeman. 'No,It was definatly beef' says Paddy

2006-12-13 08:17:12 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-13 08:12:58 · 35 answers · asked by Neeto 2

Paddy is walking down the street and see's a sandwich with wires sticking out of it.He immediatly phones the police to report it.'is it ticking' asks the policeman. 'No,It was definatly beef' says Paddy

2006-12-13 08:12:55 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

You think you got it bad? All night long I deal with soot in the chimneys, smelly socks, cross dogs, getting shot at, mistaken for a stork, driving all night in the snow - damn near got killed by a 747. Mrs. Clause is pissed off cause I got in so late.
Donner and Blitzen and Rudolph got the shits over Albuquerque and you should see my suit. The damn elves won't clean the sleigh unless I pay them double time.
I'm so sick of cookies and milk, I could vomit. The only highball I had all night was when I slipped getting out of my sleigh.
My prostate is giving me hell. I peed my pants at 20,000 feet and froze my *** to the seat. I'm allergic to pine needles. I itch all over and I think my hemorrhoids are back.
HO! HO! HO! A very MERRY CHRISTMAS, my ***!
Santa

2006-12-13 08:11:35 · 13 answers · asked by Cowboy 4

2006-12-13 08:10:25 · 29 answers · asked by Neeto 2

2006-12-13 08:09:14 · 8 answers · asked by PrinceOfDarkness 2

A doctor walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to 'write' with it.

Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said, "Well that's great, just great... some a*shole's got my pen."

2006-12-13 08:07:23 · 19 answers · asked by ploppy pants 3

the father replies "I dont know. after 20 yrs I am still paying"

2006-12-13 08:07:10 · 3 answers · asked by D *)sukky 3

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking put out.

The egg mutters to no one in particular,
"I guess we answered that question."

2006-12-13 08:05:42 · 11 answers · asked by ploppy pants 3

2006-12-13 08:01:53 · 16 answers · asked by Neeto 2

Finished files are the re-
sult of years of scientif-
ic study combined with the
Experience of many years

2006-12-13 07:59:38 · 61 answers · asked by scousey1505 1

PLEASE will someone make me laugh. i seriously need cheering up. I am pregnant and the hormones are making me feel really down.

2006-12-13 07:57:57 · 5 answers · asked by Serry's mum 5

Okay, i'm having a party at a hotel (13yr old girls)...Anyone know of any good pranks....-any kind-?!?!?!?!?!

2006-12-13 07:55:24 · 5 answers · asked by muah 2

This question is to tease your mind you have to think before you answer it. its fairly simple. if you dont get it just type dont get it and i will email you the answer

2006-12-13 07:51:56 · 13 answers · asked by First L 1

Roses are red, violets are blue...
I'm in love but not with you...
When we broke up you thought I cried
But all it was...
Was another guy,
You told your friends that I was a trick,
I told mine that you had a weak di-k...
I said I loved you
And you thought it was true,
But guess what baby?!
You got played too!!

2006-12-13 07:46:36 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

I woke up early one morning,
the earth lay cool and still,
when suddenly a bird perched on my window sill.
He sang a song so lovely,
so carefree and gay,
that slowly all my troubles began to slip away.
He sang of far away places,
of laughter and of fun,
it seemed his very chirping,
brought up the morning sun.
I stirred beneath my covers,
crept slowly out of bed,
and gently shut the window,
and crushed his bloody head!!!
(Im not a morning person).

2006-12-13 07:35:14 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-13 07:31:34 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

Holy mother, full of grace Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous face
Bless his hair that tends to curl
Keep him safe from all the girls
Bless his arms that are so strong
Keep his hands where they belong
Bless his d--k, the one i sucked
Bless the bed, in which we f---ed
And if my Mom happened to walk in
Bless the sh-t I'd be in.

2006-12-13 07:31:29 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

Peasant Under Class

2006-12-13 07:30:41 · 4 answers · asked by Legandivori 7

since saying his(Mel Gibson) anti-semic slur's while busted for DUI, Iranian president mahmoud ahmadinejad has poster's of the Lethal Weapon himself hung up around Tehran

2006-12-13 07:27:24 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

I think it would be a lot

2006-12-13 07:25:08 · 12 answers · asked by giggles2girl2006 1

I just moved into this nice neighborhood, and before going to work last night, I was kind of freaked out when seeing my entire car was covered with Post-It notes. The car wasn't locked, but nothing was missing or damaged. I've never seen anything like that and just had no idea what the heck that was all about, and there also was a big leter "G" made up of different color notes on the car hood. Does anyone here know or have any idea what this might be? There is a Highschool about a few miles down the road from this house, and that is the only thing I can think of...Highschool kids !

2006-12-13 07:22:10 · 13 answers · asked by dn.dan_6575 1

Kissing is a habit
F--king is a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain
The guy says I love you
You believe its true
But when your tummy starts to swell,
He says 'to hell with you'
10 minutes of pleasure
9 months in pain
3 days in hospital
A baby without a name
The baby is a b---ard
The mother is a whore
This never wouldn't have happened
If the rubber wouldn't have torn

2006-12-13 07:20:44 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

i never want to hurt anyone feelings,we are here to laugh n fun,god bless them,good night sweet dreams

2006-12-13 07:06:55 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

I've been stuck on Level 16 for a few days, Not wanting an answer just a few hints no matter what I enter its wrong, Not sure if I'm going about it the wrong way But help please

2006-12-13 07:06:48 · 4 answers · asked by Chris 1