Jokes & Riddles - November 2006

2006-11-27 11:54:10 · 2 answers · asked by sdm1866 1

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS

2006-11-27 11:43:05 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

A starving rabbit came upon a farmer’s lettuce garden which was surrounded by a picket fence. The rabbit knew that he must eat soon or he would die. The problem the rabbit faced was that he could barely squeeze through the fence even in his hungry condition. If he were to go inside and eat the lettuce, he would be too fat to escape should the farmer come by. The other problem facing the rabbit was that the lettuce was too large to push through the fence. How could the rabbit manage to eat the lettuce and still be able to escape?

2006-11-27 11:39:28 · 33 answers · asked by Alex 1

2006-11-27 11:36:34 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Have you heard about the new clubbing craze??
You fill a woman's va?ina with vodka & drink it out of a straw.
Doctors have warned, it can lead to MINGE DRINKING?????????????????

2006-11-27 11:36:30 · 12 answers · asked by ? 4

artificial insemination.

2006-11-27 11:36:26 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Burp-le

2006-11-27 11:35:49 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-11-27 11:34:27 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?

Lettuce eat, and I'll tell you more riddles.



ha ha

2006-11-27 11:34:25 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

One day,a brunette and a blonde went to a mexican resturant.The waiter came up and said:"may i take your order?"
The brunette said,"sure,i'll just have 2 taco's please."
The blonde said,"uuuuhhh.....lets see" without looking at the menu,"i'll have the spaghetti please."




good one isnt it? rate 1-10!

2006-11-27 11:29:32 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"
Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"
Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.
The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"
Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!"
Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.
By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"
And the blonde yells, "FIRE!!!"

ya get it?

2006-11-27 11:22:29 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

DON'T PAY HER!

2006-11-27 11:21:36 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

WIPED HIS AR$E

2006-11-27 11:18:16 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

What's the useless flesh around the penis called?
Man.

2006-11-27 11:17:35 · 12 answers · asked by nicky_bronx 3

A teacher was telling her students about human anatomy in a sex education class. She took her pointer and pointed to the picture of a male and a female.
"The female has two breasts and one vagina. The male has one penis."

A little boy in the front row jumped up and said that the teacher was wrong.

"My daddy has two penises. He has a short one that he pees with and a long one that he brushes Mommy's teeth with!"

2006-11-27 11:14:52 · 24 answers · asked by nicky_bronx 3

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.

When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself. [just a joke animal lovers, i <3 animals too]

A penny saved is a government oversight.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

He who hesitates is probably right.

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL."

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble


TBC..

2006-11-27 11:12:39 · 11 answers · asked by Shorty 4

One day a little girl came running into her house yelling, "Mommy, I got five dollars!"
The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she got the five dollars from.
The little girl replied, ''Tommy down the street gave me five dollars for doing cartwheel while he sat in the tree.
The mother told her daughter, "Don't you know that Tommy is just trying to see your panties."
''OOOOhhhh'' said the little girl.
The next day the little girl came running into the house yelling, "Mommy, I got ten dollars. The mother asked, "Where did you get the ten dollars from?"
The little girl replied, "Tommy down the street gave me ten dollars for doing a cartwheel while he sat up in the tree and laughed."
The mother replied, "Didn't I tell you that he is...''
Before the mother could finish, the little girl said, ''Wait Mommy. I tricked him, I didn't wear any panties today.''

2006-11-27 11:12:03 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"
Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"

Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.

The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"

Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!"

Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.

By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"

And the blonde yells, "FIRE!!!"

2006-11-27 11:11:52 · 9 answers · asked by nicky_bronx 3

2006-11-27 11:09:18 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Really?

2006-11-27 11:07:39 · 6 answers · asked by Tiffany B 2

Two cows in a field.
One asks,.."have you got mad cow diseas? " the other replys...." not me,im a sheep!"

2006-11-27 11:04:51 · 4 answers · asked by ? 4

Have you noticed when a couple get married, they walk down the AISLE...stand at the ALTAR.....at the end everyone sings a HYMN. Repeat the 3 words that are in capitals to yourself....Is that what she's thinking?

2006-11-27 10:58:55 · 16 answers · asked by kev3753 1

A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter's bedroom. When she opened the door, she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator.
"What are you doing!?!" she exclaimed.
The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."
Later that week, the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on a sofa with her vibrator.
"What are you doing!?!" he exclaimed.
The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."
A couple of days later, the mother heard the humming sound again, this time in the living room.
Upon entering the room, she found her husband watching television, with the vibrator buzzing away beside him.
"What are you doing?" she asked in shock.
He replied, "What's it look like? I'm watching the game with my son-in-law."

2006-11-27 10:57:09 · 9 answers · asked by nicky_bronx 3

What is the answer to this riddle?

"The son begins to sail, while the father is not yet born."
And maybe some hints to help my friend find the answer for himself :) Thanks.

2006-11-27 10:54:30 · 4 answers · asked by l3lackitty 1

Because everyone who can run, jump & swim are in the USA

2006-11-27 10:50:16 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

Anyone know any funny pickup lines that have to do with star wars? My friend is having a star wars party and I want to make him a funny card. I tried looking some up online but they were all lame... the more inappropriate, the funnier it is.

2006-11-27 10:49:50 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous

im soo curious!!lol

2006-11-27 10:48:50 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

The temperature is FREEZING. Four members of the APOLLO 6776 onboard a ROCKET get caught in a MAGNETIC STORM. The SHIELD of their ROCKET disintegrates, and the group gets caught in the RADIATION. Which one is able to land the ROCKET on EARTH and tell EVERYBODY that his/her fellow crew members are dead, the one that was in the COCKPIT, the PLACE BEHIND THE COCKPIT, the BATHROOM, or IN SPACE?

2006-11-27 10:48:05 · 4 answers · asked by merviedz trespassers 3

2006-11-27 10:47:08 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Some where over the Rainbow !



("Some where over the Rainbow, wey up high")

2006-11-27 10:43:59 · 20 answers · asked by jabelite 3