Jokes & Riddles - November 2006

I'm looking for a word for "butt" for every letter of the alphabet. Here's what I have so far:

As#/Anus
Butt
Can/Caboose
Derriere
E____
Fanny
Glutes
Hide
I____
J____
K____
L____
M____
N____
O____
Pride
Q____
Rump
Seat
Tush
U____
V____
W____
X____
Y____
Z____

Words from other languages or slang words are OK to, but I'd prefer regular English if possible. Thanks butties!

2006-11-28 15:17:05 · 9 answers · asked by Fat Bastard 2

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS:
Your 1.3gb hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80mb and then slowly expands back to 1.3gb.

AT&T VIRUS:
Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

MCI VIRUS:
Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS:
Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back...

DAN QUAYLE VIRUS:
Prevents your system from spawning any child process without joining into a binary network.

TERRY RANDLE VIRUS:
Prints "oh no you don't" whenever you choose "Abort".

CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS:
Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.

EMELDA MARCOS VIRUS:
Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot up, then subtracts money from your Quicken account and spends it all on expensive shoes it purchases through Prodigy.

GEORGE BUSH VIRUS:
It starts by boldly stating "Read my docs...No new files!" on the screen. It proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard drive with new files, then blames it on the Congressional virus.

DENVER BRONCOS VIRUS:
Makes your P133 machine perform like a 286/AT

L.A.P.D. VIRUS:
It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in "self-defense".

2006-11-28 15:08:06 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown down enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.

Taped firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily. Written in large black letters was the sentence.

"Get well quick..... from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week."

2006-11-28 14:51:16 · 9 answers · asked by happyclown5769 2

2006-11-28 14:50:11 · 6 answers · asked by karachi wali 2

why doy the feel the need to deleat answers for bull crap reasons and then leave the crappy offensive answers. like i reccomend ebay or borders to help someone find a cd they deleated it. also i answered a funny question from "emanon" they deleted it for Chatting & Personal communications or some crap like that. the answer was, "that sucked. well for me at least. i just sent it to my friends and blamed you. thats just waht i needed at 3 in the morning. me stuck to the celing like a freaking cat. lol" that was it exactly. if you want to see the question go to my page and click on "my ansewrs" what the hell if you have a similar experience let me know.

2006-11-28 14:41:57 · 9 answers · asked by happyclown5769 2

i have a few friends i like to joke around with, and whenever i say something like "you're so dumb!" they say "your FACE is dumb!" (but in a jokey way, of course, not in a mean way).
what is a good comeback for something like that?
plus, any other comebacks you might have.

2006-11-28 14:29:36 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-11-28 14:27:02 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

yo yo yo dawg it's the illist rapperest cooliest fooliest holmy around dawg. i got a white T yeah holme boy i know you jealouse dawg. i got a question dawgies, if yo mama was yo mama how could a yo mama be a yo mama am i right fools, yeah mayne i'm so crunk it is crank you dawg, i'm a dawgy holme boy fool man son (word)


that's how my classmate's talk. any idea why people think it's cool

2006-11-28 14:22:54 · 23 answers · asked by Unknown 2

2006-11-28 13:48:13 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

Einstein climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.

Looking up, he asks the Lord...
"God, what does a million years mean to you?"

The Lord replies, "A minute."

"Einstein asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"

The Lord replies, "A penny."

Einstein asks, "Can I have a penny?"

The Lord replies, "In a minute."

2006-11-28 13:36:41 · 41 answers · asked by Dharshi 2

Mine is

"Hey girl, are you from Tenessee? Cause you the only Ten-I-See!!"

2006-11-28 13:21:40 · 13 answers · asked by Déjà Vu 5

http://jingle-bells-reversed.funnypart.com/

you will love it!!!

2006-11-28 13:14:42 · 18 answers · asked by Kayli (: 4

Mandonald who was given a special holiday.

2006-11-28 13:12:30 · 9 answers · asked by Iamman 1

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

"Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."

"&&** off!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money" and she tried to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.

"Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse poop all over her hallway carpet.

"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse poop from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."

"Well," she said, "I hope you've got a mighty good appetite, because the electricity was cut off this morning."

2006-11-28 13:06:54 · 36 answers · asked by Dharshi 2

i have a book with yo mama jokes i love that show i need some more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~missy

2006-11-28 13:02:48 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

all the kittens are at kitten club. 24 are sleeping & 8 play with 2 kittens each. than they sleep.

Q. how many kittens ???

the answer is Not 2,4,8,10,12,16,24,40,43,46,48,72,80,104,116,129,130,133,168,610,1554,
2210,3462
(this Q is from the great big quiz)
I Don't GET IT !!!

2006-11-28 12:58:13 · 19 answers · asked by hpandya316 2

Q. What do women and prawns have in common??
A. Their heads are full of **** but the pink bits taste great

2006-11-28 12:57:11 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-11-28 12:56:47 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

only answer if u have the same problem.

2006-11-28 12:55:25 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

Hey Y'all, watch this!




That's funny stuff.

2006-11-28 12:49:57 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

wibbling &wobbling

2006-11-28 12:49:38 · 6 answers · asked by lilskippinpete 1

think that the french whine, they wine which is much better.
go on now why dont u all have a good moan at this one?
all together now..........

2006-11-28 12:46:44 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Hairballs

2006-11-28 12:45:15 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-11-28 12:44:13 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

You can still hear wining after the engines are turned off

2006-11-28 12:40:51 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

there is this kid that i cant stand and well i wanna say yo momma jokes to him because he always seems to get ticked off by that so list me the best you got! thanks

2006-11-28 12:39:38 · 7 answers · asked by Que Pasa Mufasa? 1

Sadly, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline decided to get a divorce. Britney signed for custody of the children. Kevin also signed for custody. Today the children Signed for Brad and Angelina to adopt.

2006-11-28 12:37:59 · 6 answers · asked by Tom Riddle 2

baa baa bigc**k have you any sperm yes miss yes miss 2 balls firm, none for the girlfriend none for the ex all for the dirty b***h reading this joke...

2006-11-28 12:27:29 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

3 guys named shut up manners and poop, the 3 guys where walking down the street when poop fell down shut up went to get help and got stoped by the police. the police asked him "what's your name." shut up responded "shut up." the police said "hey where are your manners?" shut up said "over there picking up poop."

2006-11-28 12:11:53 · 14 answers · asked by Charlie T. Unicorn 3

When the paedophile got out of prison he said 'Man, I feel like a kid'

2006-11-28 11:59:38 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous