Jokes & Riddles - October 2006

I am in the office, bored out of my skull!!

I tried answering questions, voting and playing games on Yahoo.

I am tired of doing the same thing.

if you had to suggest something entertaining to me to get me excited ...what would it be???

2006-10-13 00:33:58 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Bumper Stickers - For Women!



1. Men are like coffee, the best ones are rich, warm and can keep you up all night long.


2. Never underestimate the power of an extremely pissed off woman!


3. Being unstable and bitchy is all part of my mystique.


4. I haven't had my coffee yet, don't make me kill you!


5. Marriage: The end of a perfectly good sex life!


6. Romance: It's like sex without handcuffs.


7. Jewelry - Because great sex doesn't last forever!


8. Tequila! Helping women lower their standards for years!


9. Life! So much time, so few men!

2006-10-13 00:28:37 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

Six doors with plates at each door are in front of you. You know that the desired exit is behind one door only, and behind other doors there is either an ogre or false exit. If the real exit is behind the door then the statement written on the plate is true, if there is an ogre behind the door, then the statement written on the plate is a lie, and the door with a false exit can have either a true statement or a lie written on the plate. You should not make a mistake: the ogres will instantly eat you if you open one of their doors. What door should you choose to find the exit?


1. No exit behind this door

2. Statement 1 is false

3. The same thing is behind this door and door 6.

4. The statements of the doors 1 and 6 are both either true or false

5. Behind door 2 you will find a hungry ogre.

6. An ogre is behind this door

2006-10-13 00:17:58 · 14 answers · asked by martin 2

It's so hot i saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking

2006-10-12 23:54:51 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Tony Blair today visited a school and was asked by a teacher if he would lead a discussion on what constituted a ‘Tragedy’.

So our illustrious leader stood up, faced the class and took control asking the class for an example of ‘Tragedy’.

One little boy stood up and offered: - “if my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the farmyard and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy”.

“No,” said our leader, “that would be an accident”.

A little girl raised her hand: “if a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone on board, that would be a tragedy”.

“I’m afraid not” explained the P.M., “that’s what we would call a great loss”.

The room went silent with no other children volunteering. Blair searched the room, “isn’t there someone who can give me an example of a tragedy?”

Finally, after an awkward silence, at the back of the room a small boy raised his hand and in a quiet voice said “if an aircraft carrying you, Mr. Blair, was shot down by friendly fire and the plane exploded and you were killed, that would be a tragedy”.

“Fantastic” exclaimed Blair, “that’s absolutely right and can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”

“Well” said the boy, “it has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn’t be a great loss and it probably wouldn’t have been an accident”.

2006-10-12 23:51:32 · 14 answers · asked by billtheangler 5

That bit with the fizzy water bottle has got to be the funniest thing since Del Boy and the bar flap .

2006-10-12 23:47:48 · 15 answers · asked by nicemanvery 7

a butter dish or a gravy boat?

2006-10-12 23:39:34 · 32 answers · asked by markhatter 6

Prince Charles was in Wigan the other day and was wearing a hat with a head of a fox on top. A man asked him why he was wearing astupid hat he said " I told my mummy i was going to Wigan and she said "Wigan where the fox that?""

2006-10-12 23:36:24 · 15 answers · asked by david j 2

Have you noticed how many more responses you get when you spell a werd rong , all the spelling police wet they'r pant's .

2006-10-12 23:29:57 · 30 answers · asked by nicemanvery 7

37OH55V




































































LOOK AT IT UPSIDE DOWN

2006-10-12 23:28:16 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

Who's there?
Knock Knock!
Who's There?
Knock Knock!
Sh*t! Open the coffin, he's still alive!

2006-10-12 23:26:05 · 35 answers · asked by Michael E 4

Rene Descartes is on an airplane when the flight attendant comes up to him. "Would you something to drink, sir?" she asks. With a response of "I think not!", he disappears.

2006-10-12 23:23:03 · 4 answers · asked by Eegah 4

A gnome was sitting at the bottom of the garden on a rock, with his head in his lap (as they often do), when a fairy flew down. "Are you a goblin" she asked. "no he said, iv'e just got a bit of a headache"

2006-10-12 23:15:31 · 10 answers · asked by brillo 3

2006-10-12 23:14:12 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

best idea gets the points

2006-10-12 23:04:34 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-12 23:02:01 · 6 answers · asked by Kuldeep K 1

married couple in their sixtys are visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish.
I want to travel around the world with my husband said the wife, then 2 tickets for 2 appeared in her hand for a luxury cruise
husand says sorry luv but my wish is 2 have a wife 30 years younger then me.....
So the fairy waves her wand and the husband becomes 92......
MORAL OF THE STORY; men who are ungrateful bas*ards should remember that fairies are female

2006-10-12 22:51:03 · 25 answers · asked by flowerpot 3

For example.... If you feed me I grow, but give me water and I'll die. What am I ? - Answer..... Fire.

2006-10-12 22:51:01 · 0 answers · asked by monkyman 2

Three friends die and go to heaven. The first guy gets handcuffed to one of the ugliest girls there. ''Why?'' he asks.

St. Paul replies, ''When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.'' The same happens to the second guy. He asks why.

St. Paul replies, ''When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.'' The third guy laughs at his friends and says, ''Thank God I didn't do anything like that.'' He gets handcuffed to the prettiest girl in heaven. The other two guys ask, ''Why?''

''Because when she was nine she killed a bird with a stone.''

2006-10-12 22:49:50 · 11 answers · asked by ok 4

what is the first and last letter of the alpahabet?
first right answer get ten points!

2006-10-12 22:41:37 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous

Benny was a tough boy, he had to be. He grew up underprivileged and poor, but Benny was tough. He was used to hardships. When Benny was only 4, his dad left, taking all of the family’s money with him. Shortly after that, his mother died, but Benny was tough. He was used to hardships. After his mother’s death, Benny was sent to live in an orphanage, where he was routinely beaten. Often times, the other children would cry themselves to sleep, but not Benny, because he was tough. Benny was used to hardships. After a few years of living in the orphanage, a man came and adopted Benny. Instead of whisking Benny away to a fantasy family, the man sold him into child slave labor, but Benny was tough. He was used to hardships. Benny was put to work in a sweatshop overseas. He couldn’t speak or read the language, so the warnings given meant little to the boy. Within his first week at the factory, Benny lost his right hand to the machines, but Benny was tough. He was used to hardships.

2006-10-12 22:22:52 · 15 answers · asked by Eegah 4

Any non veg jokes with hindi langauage prefered.

2006-10-12 22:21:10 · 9 answers · asked by babu 1

An old sailor decided he'd enjoy an evening with one of the "dock girls" just one more time before he was no longer able to. So he found himself a willing wench and they went off to find a room. As they were making out, the old sailor asks, "how am I doing sweetie?" She replies Oh, I'd say you're doing about 3 knots matie. What'a ya mean by that he says. Well, 3 nots - 1. You're not up, 2. you're not in, and 3, you're not getiing a refund!!

2006-10-12 22:02:16 · 5 answers · asked by tee_nong_noy 3

just love me don't hate the jamaican.

2006-10-12 21:46:35 · 13 answers · asked by spice 1

just love me don't hate the jamaican.

2006-10-12 21:46:00 · 4 answers · asked by spice 1

'Fcuk all!' replies the man. The hard of hearing judge leans forward and asks the Clerk of the court 'what did he say?' Clerk replies 'He said fcuk all, your honour' 'Really?' said the Judge, ' I could have sworn I saw his lips move'

I know it's bad, but at least I've had a go!!

2006-10-12 21:12:43 · 15 answers · asked by Yokay Booboo 3

the sky cover the creatation hole and the pantie cover the creatation hole

2006-10-12 21:09:26 · 12 answers · asked by spice 1

2006-10-12 20:59:49 · 8 answers · asked by ray t 1

Between unlawful and illeagal? Watch out later and i will answer if no ones got it

2006-10-12 20:53:37 · 9 answers · asked by sam h 1

When asked to make a sentence using the word "horticulture," Dorothy Parker responded with a very definate yet humorous response.

"You can lead a whore to culture but you can't make her think"

Do you think it's funny?

2006-10-12 20:51:47 · 4 answers · asked by margaret 2