Jokes & Riddles - October 2006

...sitting at a table on which a sexy young lady is dancing for them...the first man decides to show off a little, so he takes a crisp £20 note from his wallet, licks it and sticks it to the strippers left b um cheek...the second guy decides he wants to go a step further so he pulls out a crisp £50 note from his wallet, licks and sticks it on her right b um cheek...they both look at the third guy, a little bemused, as he opens his wallet and pulls out his mastercard! He swipes it in the strippers crack, takes the 70 bucks and heads for the bar!!

2006-10-13 08:59:25 · 15 answers · asked by p_y_t 2

IF YOU SAY MY NAME,
I WONT EXIST ANYMORE

2006-10-13 08:49:09 · 11 answers · asked by candy12424 2

You're driving along on a bus.
At the first stop 6 people got on, the second stop 2 people get off and 8 people get on.
At the Third stop, 7 people get on and 3 people get off.....

What's the name of the Bus Driver?

2006-10-13 08:47:55 · 16 answers · asked by Kirk_84 4

some say its Zacchaeus-but its not him-he was so short he had to climb a tree to see Jesus to try and find out if he could get his sins forgiven-- Jesus said to him "This day has salvation come...For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost."

2006-10-13 08:35:08 · 5 answers · asked by ? 5

heres 5 short riddles see how many you get right... (I´ll post the answers in 40 minutes)

1.What won't break if you throw it off the highest building in the world, but will break if you place it in the ocean?

2.What two things can you never eat for breakfast?

3.Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white," or "The yolk of the egg is white?"

4.Who can shave twenty-five times a day and still have a beard?

5.If a spanish plane crashed exactly on the border between Chile and Argentina what country would the survivors be buried in?

good luck.... and if you´re gonna cheat don´t bother taking part;)

2006-10-13 08:28:10 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-13 08:27:56 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-13 08:22:57 · 10 answers · asked by LoveBug 2

An old farmer died and left 17 cows to his three sons. In his will, the farmer stated that his oldest son should get 1 / 2 , his middle son should get 1 / 3 , and his youngest son should get 1 / 9 of all the cows. The sons, who did not want to end up with half cows, sat for days trying to figure out how many cows each of them should get.

One day, their neighbour came by to see how they were doing after their father's death. The three sons told him their problem. After thinking for a while, the neighbour said: "I'll be right back!" He went away, and when he came back, the three sons could divide the cows according to their father's will, and in such a way that each of them got a whole number of cows.

The Question : What was the neighbor's solution ?

2006-10-13 08:18:05 · 10 answers · asked by hfbdog 2

...in the forest one day when they stumbled upon a magic lamp...they rubbed it and sure enough, a genie appeared, who agreed to grant them each 3 wishes.
For his first wish, the bear asked to be the most handsome bear in the entire forest so that all the female bears would find him most attractive...
the rabbit wished for a motorbike...
the bear then wished to be the strongest bear in all the forest so he could impress the females...
the rabbit wished for a crash helmet....
for his final wish, the bear asked to immortal, so he could enjoy the ladies forever...
the rabbit climbed onto his motorbike, put on his crash helmet and said, i wish that mr. bear was gay!!...

2006-10-13 08:17:58 · 12 answers · asked by p_y_t 2

why on earth do people keep feeling the need to put up that stupid coffin question?????? Egads!!

2006-10-13 08:12:37 · 5 answers · asked by mcnees79 3

Think about it for awile, then tell me why you chose your answer

2006-10-13 08:11:50 · 23 answers · asked by Luke 1

the barman pulls out a shotgun and aims it at the mans head, the man says thankyou very much and walks out of the bar.... why?

2006-10-13 08:06:51 · 13 answers · asked by bcbob 1

In a contest, four fruits (an apple, a banana, an orange, and a pear) have been placed in four closed boxes (one fruit per box). People may guess which fruit is in which box. 123 people participate in the contest. When the boxes are opened, it turns out that 43 people have guessed none of the fruits correctly, 39 people have guessed one fruit correctly, and 31 people have guessed two fruits correctly.

The Riddle : How many people have guessed three fruits correctly, and how many people have guessed four fruits correctly?


I will post the answer in 30 mins (if someone answers correctly)... if not i´ll let it run until someone does.... 10 points up for grabs... go!

2006-10-13 07:52:03 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-13 07:51:27 · 14 answers · asked by Nyema 3

Yeah, these are kind of random .. but anyway, first person to give me the three answers gets an easy ten points! =)



The one who makes it sells it.
The one who buys it doesn't use it.
The one who's using it doesn't know he's using it.



What's more powerful than God?
More evil than the devil?
The poor have it.
The rich need it.
If you eat it, you will die.



What is broken everytime it's spoken?

2006-10-13 07:36:42 · 19 answers · asked by Amanda 2

...and on their way they walk by a tree in which a parrot sits. He claims he can see through their clothes and sqawks out the colour of their underwear! so on monday as the three nuns pass, the parrot squawks "reb, black, purple"...the nuns scurry away, embarrassed and flushed....then on tuesday as they pass by, he squawks "green, yellow, pink"!! the nuns are once again startled and leave in dismay! That night, they get together in their convent and decide to hatch a plan to trick the parrot the next day so that he can no longer fluster them...the following morning, the 3 nuns set off, smug and confident, to the market. As they pass by the tree, they look up at the parrot thinkng he will be truly lost for words...then comes his reply..."curly, straight, shaved"!!!!!

2006-10-13 07:36:28 · 15 answers · asked by p_y_t 2

for those to look closly...what is missing from thie paragraph

Hint: somone wrote a huge book like this paragraph:

This is a most unusual paragraph-and so is its companion paragraph that follows. This writing may annoy you until you find out why it is so unusual, for you won't find a solution instantly. But don't go into a tailspin about it, for it isn't that difficult. But you will admit that it is most unusual. This writing looks so ordinary that you might think that nothing is worng with it. And, in fact, nothing is wrong with it. But it is unusual, and you must ask why. If you study and think about it, you may find out why, but you must do it without any coaching of any kind. No doubt if you work at it for long, it will dawn on you...who knows? So start to study it now, and try your skill at finding out what is so unusual about this writing. If you can do it in half an hour, you may claim an approach to wisdom, but if you can't do it in half an hour...find our solution

2006-10-13 07:11:22 · 14 answers · asked by bob v 2

You are stuck in a room with no windows or doors. a solid room. the only things in this room is a mirror and a table. how do you excape?

2006-10-13 07:09:15 · 17 answers · asked by bob v 2

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to yell and scream,

"Where did you get that car?"

He calmly told them, "I bought it today. "

"With what money?" demanded his parents. "We know what a Porsche costs.."

"Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars."

So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars?" they asked.

"It was the lady up the street," said the boy."don't know her name-they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars."

"Oh my Goodness!," moaned the mother, "she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on."

So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias! He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.

"Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and really doesn't intend to come back. He claimed he was stranded and asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did."

2006-10-13 06:56:16 · 21 answers · asked by Missbribri 5

Please don't say, Change it's course, of course, or melt it. I want you to be creative, and to make up your own answers.

2006-10-13 06:54:08 · 16 answers · asked by me-hoo 2

Which of the following statements are true?

1. At least one of these ten statements is false.
2. At least two of these ten statements are false.
3. At least three of these ten statements are false.
4. At least four of these ten statements are false.
5. At least five of these ten statements are false.
6. At least six of these ten statements are false.
7. At least seven of these ten statements are false.
8. At least eight of these ten statements are false.
9. At least nine of these ten statements are false.
10. At least ten of these ten statements are false

2006-10-13 06:40:30 · 17 answers · asked by bob v 2

2006-10-13 06:39:27 · 16 answers · asked by me-hoo 2

There are no such thing as 2 cent or 3 cent pieces. You can only use !, 5, 10, 25, 50 cent pieces. There are 2 ways to do it .

The correcrt answer for my train question is. It is impossible to catch the other train. It would take 2 minutes at 60mph to go the 2 miles. The second train going the first mile at 30mph takes 2 minutes. good luck

2006-10-13 06:39:12 · 7 answers · asked by jess g 3

when she comes across a little bunny in a trap...the bunny tells her he is magic and will grant her 3 wishes if she releases him...she agrees and just before she makes her wishes, the bunny warns her that whatever she wishes for, her worst enemy will receive twice as much. the woman accepts the rabbits condition and for her first wish, she asks to be the richest woman in the world...swoosh! her wish is granted but her enemy is twice as rich....for her next wish, she asks to be the most beautiful and irresistable woman in the world...swoosh! her second wish is granted but her enemy is now twice as beautiful...so for her third and final wish, she thinks long and hard and says, i wish for a really mild heart attack...

2006-10-13 06:33:45 · 27 answers · asked by p_y_t 2

2006-10-13 06:32:32 · 15 answers · asked by me-hoo 2

there were three married men waiting to get into "Heaven", but first they had to be asked a question by "God", he tells them you must answer this question truthfully, and if you do, depending on your answers, I'll give you a means of transpotation to get around while here in Heaven. He asks them, " have you ever cheated on your wife?" The first said, "God" I must be honest, I've cheated on my wife one time , "God" says, ok thats true, so I'm giving you a motorcycle, he comes to the other and ask him, well "God", I must be truthful, I cheated on my wife at least 10 times, "God" says, well at least you were honest, so I'll give you a bike. He asks the last guy, and he replies, in all of my 37 years of marriage, I've never cheated on my wife, so "God" says, that's correct, so I'll give you a new car. Later that day the guys with the bike and motorcycle sees the man crying in his new car, so they ask him why are you crying? He replies, I just saw my wife, and she was riding a bike.

2006-10-13 06:23:18 · 11 answers · asked by chris f 1

riddle

2006-10-13 06:21:56 · 12 answers · asked by thisistraci 1

2006-10-13 06:17:36 · 8 answers · asked by Zack B 1

2006-10-13 06:11:36 · 29 answers · asked by I am Sunshine 6

My favourite is:
I'm not a pheasant plucker I'm a pheasant pluckers son I'm only plucking pheasants till the pheasant plucker comes.

Try repeating that quickly 3 times.

2006-10-13 06:09:18 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous