If you read this, do you promise not to hit me?

Question

Benny was a tough boy, he had to be. He grew up underprivileged and poor, but Benny was tough. He was used to hardships. When Benny was only 4, his dad left, taking all of the family’s money with him. Shortly after that, his mother died, but Benny was tough. He was used to hardships. After his mother’s death, Benny was sent to live in an orphanage, where he was routinely beaten. Often times, the other children would cry themselves to sleep, but not Benny, because he was tough. Benny was used to hardships. After a few years of living in the orphanage, a man came and adopted Benny. Instead of whisking Benny away to a fantasy family, the man sold him into child slave labor, but Benny was tough. He was used to hardships. Benny was put to work in a sweatshop overseas. He couldn’t speak or read the language, so the warnings given meant little to the boy. Within his first week at the factory, Benny lost his right hand to the machines, but Benny was tough. He was used to hardships.

After he lost his hand, the slavers put treated Benny worse than before, whipping and beating him to within an inch of his life. Did he break then? No. Benny was tough. He was used to hardships. Once he had recovered to a point where he could work again, Benny was put to work on another machine. Unfortunately, due to his weakened state, the boy lost an eye soon after, but this was nothing. Benny was tough. He was used to hardships. After once again nearly killing Benny with their punishment, the slavers threw the poor lad out into the streets. Poor, crippled, unable to communicate, and wracked with fever, did Benny give up? Of course not, Benny was tough. He was used to hardships. Subsisting on only dead rats and the scraps from dumpsters, Benny nursed himself back to near health, only losing one ear to frostbite, and his leg to gangrene. But Benny persevered. Benny was tough. He was used to hardships.

Wandering the shore looking for work, never a handout, Benny came across a freighter sailing back towards his home. Unfortunately, Benny had no sea experience. Did that stop him? Never, for Benny was tough. He was used to hardships. He learned as they sailed, even picking up a smattering of the sailors’ language as they went. Alas, the sea is a cruel mistress, as Benny learned, when he was washed overboard and left for dead during a rough squall. Floating at sea for days, the sharks soon came for him. Benny’s hope kept him going though, with the only loss this time being his other leg. This was no problem for Benny, he was tough. Benny was used to hardships. A few days later, a passing boat saw Benny and pulled him to safety. Half mad from dehydration, Benny attacked the crew though, and they threw him into the brig. There, Benny was once again forced to fend for himself, against the rats and sickness they brought. But Benny was tough. He was used to hardships.

Soon he was hale and hearty again, with the exception of his right arm, which had to be amputated to prevent the spread of disease, but this was ok. Benny was tough. He was used to hardships. The crew was soon impressed with Benny’s mastery of sailing, and even allowed him to keep watch from up in the crow’s nest. Once again, Mother Nature brought her fury down upon the world, unleashing a storm whose fury will never be seen again. While the rest of the crew tended to the lashings, and tried to keep from being swept overboard, Benny kept watch from on high. The wind and rain didn’t bother him, Benny was tough. He was used to hardships. Soon however a shrieking wind knocked him off of the mast, sending Benny plummeting to the deck below and, with a sickening *CRACK* Benny hit the wood. Amazingly, Benny took this all in stride, and climbed back up to his post. After all, Benny was tough. He was used to hard ships.

Answer 1

Man that was a LOT of work for not much. But thanks for my morning >snerk<

Answer 2

Ei ! Ya ! your name is more tough than poor Benny. just tell me when u have lost both legs & arms ,how u climb a pole ? I'm not going 2 hit u ,only 2 sent u for a checkup..

Answer 3

Shame Now we all know the writer's true name!!!


Hi Benny!!!

Answer 4

I read the first few lines but then I fell asleep.......

Answer 5

OMG is this a true story? I have read it all and it shocked me...

Answer 6

My god you are more unraveled than me! Thanx

Answer 7

i need to hire a secretary to read it for me....its too long!!!

Answer 8

It's too long, I can't be @rsed

Answer 9

Funny??
Ans: NO!!!

Answer 10

it would be funnier if it were shorter