Jokes & Riddles - September 2006

Be the first to guess my middle name
Hint 1: Starts with an A
Hint 2: Ends with an A
Hint 3: 6 letters

2006-09-04 13:57:33 · 20 answers · asked by lpkegirl 3

I am tired of likstening to my friends say the same old jokes so does anybody have a good catchy joke?

2006-09-04 13:52:06 · 8 answers · asked by zooogirll 1

....at Eenie Meenie Miney Moe?

2006-09-04 13:52:01 · 25 answers · asked by smilesfromred 5

Is that what happened to Pluto?

2006-09-04 13:49:34 · 6 answers · asked by smilesfromred 5

I have two eyes, two arms and two legs.


Be the first to answer it right.

2006-09-04 13:47:55 · 19 answers · asked by lpkegirl 3

2006-09-04 13:45:24 · 13 answers · asked by -Tequila17 6

2006-09-04 13:39:22 · 8 answers · asked by Big M 1

Of course it is! So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

2006-09-04 13:36:21 · 8 answers · asked by ? 6

end, then across across another ramp when you reached the bottom. What am I? (think the alphabet)

2006-09-04 13:25:46 · 8 answers · asked by Display Name 3

are they trying to tell me I need to trim my whiskers?

2006-09-04 13:22:07 · 3 answers · asked by smilesfromred 5

Jimmy Naill is going to sing crocodile shoes at Steve Irwin's funneral, they were going to ask sting, but they thought it was inapproaprite

2006-09-04 13:11:00 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous

well this ladie goes to her boyfriends parents house for Christmas
so this is the first time she meets them!
they have caserol for dinner but all of a sudden she get pain in her stomach! as we all know this is gas!
and she really cant hold it any longer she desides to let it out very softly!and thier it goes .....
she turns around to see if they had noticed
and the family dog goes to her chair and starts sniffing ...
the father says (daingit snippy!!)as he sitts in the bottom of her chair
so she sings victory that no one noticed!
as the night goes she feels pain again and easaly lets it rip!
the father looks at the dog and says "ugh skippy!"
the woman is safe again!!
10 minutes later she still feels pain soo she knows that this one is goin to be alittle louder!
she takes the rist and thier it goes (like a train when they blow the horn)
once again the father looks at the dog and says
(SKIPPY, GET THE HELL OUT OF THIER BEFORE SHE SHITS ON YOU!)

2006-09-04 13:09:50 · 51 answers · asked by Moi, 3

http://answers.yahoo.com/my/profile;_ylt=ApilP2qqyYW4SEJ.F1aztjrsy6IX?show=AA11372442

Is his avatar funny?

2006-09-04 12:44:37 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

three blondes where out walking in the woods ....when the came across some tracks ... the first blonde said ...i think they are deer tracks ....the second blonde said ...i think they are bear tracks ...the third blonde said ...i think they dog tracks .....they where still argueing when the train hit them ......lol ha ha ha ha

2006-09-04 12:35:41 · 24 answers · asked by paddy 1

best ending wins

2006-09-04 12:32:32 · 47 answers · asked by 96.7 KCAL ROCKS!!! 3

2006-09-04 12:30:29 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

> Wrong thing to say...
>
>
>
> This married couple were sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife
>
> looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor.
>
>
>
> The husband asks "I notice you've been watching that man for some
>
> time now. Do you know him?"
>
>
>
> "Yes" she replies, "He's my ex-husband, and has been drinking like
>
> that since I left him seven years ago."
>
>
>
> "That's remarkable" the husband replies, "I wouldn't think anybody
>
> could celebrate that long."

2006-09-04 12:29:29 · 17 answers · asked by Sangy . 4

2006-09-04 12:26:33 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

teacher says to the class .....today we are going to talk about animals ........she asks does anybody know what a schitzu is ...........little tommy at the back of the class puts his hand up and says ...i do miss .....its a zoo with no fuckin animals in it .........

2006-09-04 12:22:57 · 36 answers · asked by paddy 1

When I am made, at first I am wet. I have a younger brother, but he's missing a bowl. Can anyone tell me what I'm talking about???

2006-09-04 12:07:37 · 7 answers · asked by Display Name 3

Think outside the box

2006-09-04 12:04:43 · 11 answers · asked by ? 4

bring em on!

2006-09-04 11:59:35 · 9 answers · asked by carine-bean 2

2006-09-04 11:57:23 · 11 answers · asked by Mr Answer 1

Do you know the answer, points to the first correct person.

2006-09-04 11:48:28 · 47 answers · asked by AnonyMoose_UK 2

2006-09-04 10:49:05 · 11 answers · asked by robbins 2

the bishop of a large cathedral sent word through the streets that he was after a new bell ringer. a day or so later, the applicants came filing in, and the bishop took each of them up to the belfry to begin the screening process. after interviewing several of them he became tired and was about to call it a day when an armless man approached him and announced he was there to apply for the bell ringers job. the bishop was incredulous.
'but you have no arms!'
'that hinders me not,' said the man. 'watch!'
he then began striking the bells with his face, producing a most beautiful melody. the bishop listened in astonishment, convinced he had found his man. the bell ringer rang the bells again, but this time he slipped on something and plunged headlong out of the window and to his death below. the stunned bishop rushed down to the fallen figure, where a crowd had already gathered. as they parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, 'bishop, who was this man?'
'I’m not quite sure,’ the bishop sadly replied, ‘but his face rang a bell.’
(but wait, there’s more…)
although very sad, the following day the bishop continued the interviews. The first man to approach him said, ‘your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor, armless wretch who fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you pay due homage to his life by allowing me to replace him.’ The bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and as the armless brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest and died on the spot. Two monks, hearing the bishop’s cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side. ‘what has happened?’ the first asked breathlessly. ‘who is this man?’
‘I don’t know his name,’ sighed the distraught bishop, ‘but he’s a dead ringer for his brother.’

2006-09-04 10:27:19 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

women pregnant with tripplets gets shot in the belly 3 times and survives so do the babies. 10 years later she's sat nitting one of her kids comes in and says "mam i had a pee and a bullet came out". "thats ok she says" . 2 mins later the other kid comes in and says the same thing. "thats ok" she said "dont worry" . 3 mins later the other kid comes in and says "mam mam" . the mam says "you v've had a pee and a bullet s come out". "no" he said "ive had a **** and shot the cat".

2006-09-04 10:23:13 · 13 answers · asked by jericho sland 4

A man needs to carry a wolf, a sheep and a hip of grass across a river on a boat. He needs to carry one at a time, how does he do this without the wolf eating the sheep or the sheep eating the grass. Please don't ask why cos its a riddle.

2006-09-04 10:11:52 · 12 answers · asked by cross 2

2006-09-04 09:51:03 · 16 answers · asked by Susz 2

Three men were talking about what had happened to them after they had got drunk the previous night.

The first man said 'I was so bad last night when I went home I blew chunks'

The second man said 'That's nothing, when I was driving home, i got stopped for drinking and driving by the police'

The third man said 'Mine was worse, I picked up a prostitute and took her home and the wife caught me giving her one'

The first man interrupted saying 'Hey guys, Chunks is the name of my dog......'

2006-09-04 09:49:57 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous