Jokes & Riddles - September 2006

if quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

2006-09-08 09:07:34 · 18 answers · asked by Happyworms 4

Going up or down?

2006-09-08 08:54:32 · 14 answers · asked by Fair Warning 2

are my eyes too big for my face? .....am i moody looking?...is my hair crap colour?....let me know what you think.

2006-09-08 08:52:00 · 8 answers · asked by Irish eyes 2

They named him "Sum Ting Wong"

2006-09-08 08:47:36 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

A knight went to a wizard, he wanted to sleep with the queen.Said the wizard, "Put this itching powder on her dress, when she comes to me, I'll tell her you're magic tongue will cure her!" The knight had a wonderful time with the queen, but refused to pay the wizard! When the knight saw the wizard speaking with the king, he asked, "So I wouldn't pay you, and you told the king what I did?" Said the wizard, "Oh, no...I just told him how to cure his itchy balls!"

2006-09-08 08:35:25 · 10 answers · asked by Laurie 3

and Norbert Weiner (mathematician), she would then be....?

2006-09-08 08:31:05 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-08 08:26:34 · 10 answers · asked by autumn_hendrix 2

A man from a nearby country explained the king how to play chess. Becoming very interested in the game, the king wanted to praise the man and asked him what he want. He humbly asked the king to give gold coins with the following condition.

Put a gold coin in the 1st square of the chess board and consequently put the double of the previous one's content in each squares. The total count of coins of all 64 squares placed in this order must be paid to him.

The king agreed happily to give that *SMALL* amount and he is now going to count. He is having ten tons of Gold in his treasury and a gold coin is weighing a gram. Answer me, will he praise the man as promised.

IF YOU CAN'T, THEN YOU'RE GRANTED TO USE YOUR COMPUTER.

2006-09-08 08:21:55 · 17 answers · asked by Naveen 2

2006-09-08 08:06:43 · 11 answers · asked by jbc3d33 2

I fired my secretary today because...

Yesterday was my 40th birthday and I wasn't feeling too good that morning.
I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy
Birthday", As it turned out, she didn't even say good morning, let alone any "Happy
Birthday". I thought, well, that's wives for you, the children will
remember. The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent..
As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said, "Good morning, Boss,
"Happy Birthday". And I felt a little better that someone had remembered.
I worked until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and said "You know,
it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch,
just you and me." I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard
all day. Let's go!" We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go instead we went out to a private little place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I said, "No, I guess
not." She said, "Let's go to my apartment."
After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think
I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable"
"Sure!" I excitedly replied.
She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying
a huge birthday cake ----- followed by my wife, children, and dozens of
our friends, all singing "Happy Birthday". And I just sat there ----
on the couch ----

naked

2006-09-08 07:57:19 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-08 07:49:44 · 17 answers · asked by CindayYEAHYYYY 6

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something very special."
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said.
The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, by check. "I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said. Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. "There's no money in that account."
"I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?".

2006-09-08 07:49:24 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

A Lickalotapuss lol

2006-09-08 07:13:08 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"

The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:


You got Male!

2006-09-08 06:50:40 · 6 answers · asked by Helzabet 6

try solvin this numerical puzzle..

2006-09-08 06:32:01 · 15 answers · asked by Steel 1

What do you call a donut shop which royals go in for hot coffee and donuts? Answer is Royal Donuts.

2006-09-08 06:31:27 · 8 answers · asked by April Ann Codon Cruz 2

did anyone hear of the new jewish car

2006-09-08 06:27:37 · 13 answers · asked by rockladder2 2

2006-09-08 06:25:06 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

so they lit a fire in the craft.
Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that
you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

2006-09-08 05:52:46 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

and they were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office
and asked them to disperse.
"But why," they asked, as they moved off.
"Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

2006-09-08 05:51:00 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

She was found face down in Ricki Lake

2006-09-08 05:22:16 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

Please don't give me a website link.

2006-09-08 05:21:01 · 6 answers · asked by WELL R.S. 1

there is a mirror in downtown new york that if you tell a lie you will get sucked in and never come back. but if you tell the truth you will get one wish.

a brunette come in and say, 'i am the most beautiful woman in the world' and she gets sucked in

a red head comes in and says,'i am the most beautiful woman in the world' and she gets sucked in

then a blonde comes in and says 'i think...' and she gets sucked in

2006-09-08 05:20:53 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

Please construct a full sentence to the question HRU?

2006-09-08 05:15:57 · 17 answers · asked by WELL R.S. 1

a blond girl was cooking dinner for her man. while doing she managed to burn the water, then the pot, and soon her house was burning. she called the fire department, "how may i help you" said the operator. "help help come quick! my house is on fire!!!" she cried. "ok no problem how do we get to your house?" she looked at the phone in disbelief "duh! big red truck!"

2006-09-08 05:11:42 · 12 answers · asked by cwfraggle 3

2006-09-08 05:08:19 · 7 answers · asked by hey_finny 3

2006-09-08 05:06:30 · 22 answers · asked by gifted 4

2006-09-08 05:04:32 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-08 05:03:26 · 13 answers · asked by Hacker 3

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

2006-09-08 04:47:51 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous