Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

2006-08-27 10:51:03 · 8 answers · asked by stephen p 4

"I will tell you the ages of my three daughters. The products of their ages is 72 and the sum of their ages is my house number" The guy runs out, looks at the house number, returns and says that he needs more information. The first guy simply responds "The oldest likes strawberry pudding" What are the daughters ages?

This problem was taken from a 7th grade math book.

2006-08-27 10:40:56 · 8 answers · asked by shadow_x651 1

....the Muffin Man????

2006-08-27 10:15:10 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

What is a Knee-Grow? Say it fast and don't hesitate.!

2006-08-27 09:53:10 · 7 answers · asked by workereleven 1

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He
reduces altitude and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon
further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my
friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I
am."
The man below says, "Yes, you are in a hot air balloon, hovering
approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42
degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude."
"You must be an engineer!" says the balloonist.
"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "Everything you told me is technically
correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and
the fact is, I am still lost."
The man below says, "You must be a manager!"
"I am replies the balloonist, but how did you know?"

"Well," says the engineer, "You don't know where you are, or where
you are going. You have made a promise, which you have no idea how
to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you
are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it
is somehow, my fault."

2006-08-27 09:16:30 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

One of my son's favorite jokes. I'm looking for other, kid jokes, to pass along to him. Know of any?

2006-08-27 09:15:59 · 10 answers · asked by Voice 4

This is a brain teaser that I need the answer to if anybody has and answer ,Thank You very much

2006-08-27 09:14:19 · 10 answers · asked by donna b 1

2006-08-27 09:00:32 · 39 answers · asked by geraldine 2

http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/1205/Shark+Cat

2006-08-27 09:00:21 · 13 answers · asked by ~ Just Me ~ 5

so one day a docter calls this guy and says he has bad news and worse news

The bad news is he is going to die tomorrow The worse news is i forgot to call u yesterday

HAAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHA if u dont think this is funny u all are mothertruckers

2006-08-27 08:59:17 · 15 answers · asked by USA Medik 2

best answer wins the 10 points!! good luck

2006-08-27 08:51:16 · 22 answers · asked by geraldine 2

2006-08-27 08:41:33 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-27 08:40:55 · 35 answers · asked by Kevin H. 3

Adamson was the lead singer/guitarist with Big Country

2006-08-27 08:30:53 · 9 answers · asked by steve p 1

http://riddlenut.com/gryriddle.php

Think of words ending in -GRY. Angry and hungry are two of them. There are only three words in the English language. What is the third word? The word is something that everyone uses every day. If you have listened carefully, I have already told you what it is."

2006-08-27 08:30:09 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-27 08:21:12 · 52 answers · asked by lia 2

know any funny words not bad words just like funny words like monkey butt, ketchup, buddha, stinky poopy u know funny words

2006-08-27 08:18:18 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Madonnas British accent sounds so real, you'd believe she was actually BORN there.

or

A hair dye has been developed that actually covers Ginger hair completely.

2006-08-27 08:16:01 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

1st to answer all or mostly all CORRECTLY wins 10pts!

~A true story: a white horse jumped over a tower and landed on a priest, who immediately disappeared from the landscape.
Where did this take place?

~What is broken every time it's spoken?

~What English word retains the same pronunciation, even after you take away four of its five letters?

~Continue the series: o t t f f s s _ _ _

~Are you good at math? Complete the last two in this sequence:
1=3, 2=3, 3=5, 4=4, 5=4, 6=3, 7=5, 8=5, 9=4, 10=3, 11=?, 12=?

2006-08-27 08:10:55 · 18 answers · asked by TheCatIsBack 2

2006-08-27 08:01:42 · 7 answers · asked by eric J 3

2006-08-27 07:59:40 · 22 answers · asked by ylime94 2

standing on the tee box jumping up and down with four fingers held up?

2006-08-27 07:52:09 · 2 answers · asked by NANCY K 6

Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second. "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee jumping service in Mexico." The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, harnesses, etc.

They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts and scratches.

Unfortunately, the second guy isn't able catch him, he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, the second guy misses him.

The first guy falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, the second guy finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"

The first guy says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the heck is a 'pinata'?"

2006-08-27 07:52:02 · 6 answers · asked by umm...yea 3

http://www.eyetricks.com/scary_optical_illusion.htm

2006-08-27 07:44:46 · 15 answers · asked by kYM 2

A very good looking lady was well drawn on the toilet door, and by her lips was written..'sweet sixteen, and never been kissed'....and a little lower by the numbi's ...'sweet sixteen, and never been touched'....and in the middelish...was written...but very small...and i had to lean forward to read...and it read......
'careful...you are messing on the seat'...

2006-08-27 07:42:12 · 5 answers · asked by Featherman 5

FYI - It's not the _________ (insert color) computer screen!

This is a 2 part question...

2006-08-27 07:39:21 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

During the war in Ireland the air raid siren went off and everbody was told to pull down their blackouts(Blackouts were dark curtains that the planes couldnt see). so the man who checked to see if all the blackouts were down noticed one open and h shouted "Hey pull down your blackouts" the man replied"i cant find my false teeth" to which the blackout man said " there dropping bombs not sandwiches". True story on my grandads street

2006-08-27 07:27:53 · 16 answers · asked by arsenalfc92 1

2006-08-27 07:23:22 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

gross pay=$1,222.02
income tax=$244.40
outgoing tax=$45.21
state tax=$11.61
interstate tax=$61.10
regional tax=$6.11
city tax=$12.22
rural tax=$4.44
back tax=1.11
front tax=$1.16
side tax=$1.61
up tax=$2.22
thumb tax=$3.93
carpet tacks=$0.98
stadium tax=$0.69
flat tax=$8.32
corporate tax=$2.60
tic tacs=$1.98
parking fee=$5.00
life insurance=$5.85
health insurance=$16.23
dental insurance=$4.50
mental insurance=$4.33
reassurance=$0.11
disability=$2.50
ability=$0.25
liability=$3.41
unreliability=$10.99
coffee==$6.85
coffee cups=$66.51
floor rental=$16.85
chair rental=$0.32
desk rental=$4.32
union dues=$5.85
union don’ts=$3.77
cash advance=$0.69
cash retreats=$121.35
overtime=$1.26
undertime=$54.83
eastern time=$9.00
central time=$8.00
mountain time=$7.00
pacific time=$6.00
time out=$12.21
water=$16.54
heat=$51.42
cool air=$26.83
hot air=$20.00miscellaneous=$113.29
sundry=$12.09
various=$8.01
net take home pay=$0.02
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2006-08-27 07:15:33 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-27 07:14:44 · 6 answers · asked by arsenalfc92 1