Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

Why does a man with a broken heart does not need general knowledge?

2006-08-27 03:52:06 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous

who dont like sex?is there any one?!!

2006-08-27 03:45:44 · 7 answers · asked by arman982 2

What is the most sexy thing between two legs of actress Preity Zinta?

I know the puzzle sounds cheap and obscene but its not. Its a very clean puzzle, you will be amazed when you come to know of answer.

10 points guaranteed for first correct answer.

2006-08-27 03:40:52 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

The answer is not mango trees or fruit shops.

Tell me where? 10 points guaranteed for first correct answer.

2006-08-27 03:17:33 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

This is going to make you so MAD! There are three words in the English language that end in "gry". ONE is angry and the other is hungry. EveryONE knows what the third ONE means and what it stands for. EveryONE uses them everyday, and if you listened very carefully, I've given you the third word. What is it? _______gry?

2006-08-27 03:16:41 · 20 answers · asked by pearly_cherry 4

Willys cynical thought for the fugging day,

I sent my photo to the Lonely Hearts Club. They sent it back to me saying "WE'RE NOT THAT FREAKING LONELY!!!!!"

What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and an anorexic prostitute?

A fake dollar is a phony buck.

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

2006-08-27 03:10:30 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop, and with them are their
nine children.
A blind man joins them after a few minutes.When the bus arrives,they find it overloaded and only the wife and the
nine kids are able to fit in the bus. So the husband and the blind man
decide to walk. After a while the husband gets irritated by the ticking
of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the side walk and says to him:
"Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end your stick, that ticking
sound is driving me crazy!
The blind man replies:
"If you would've put a rubber on the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding
the bus, so shut the heck up!"

2006-08-27 03:03:48 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-27 02:57:07 · 17 answers · asked by fb0581 3

I am slim and tall,
Many find me desirable and appealing.
They touch me and I give a false good feeling.
Once I shine in splendor,
But only once and then no more.
For many I am "to die for".
What am I?

HINT- it's a thing. A very very common thing tht u will see it every single day

2006-08-27 02:48:24 · 13 answers · asked by froggy 3

2006-08-27 02:38:45 · 37 answers · asked by kaviraj_panda 1

.."The other sister says she's Mellisa," Which sister said it?

2006-08-27 02:35:23 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-27 02:25:22 · 8 answers · asked by teco 2

There's this scotsman in a kilt, walking down the street, when a big wind blew it up. Two old ladies walking towards him, covered thier faces, and said, "oh sir it's gruesome", he replied, " Arrgh, have another look ladies.....it's grew some more"......

2006-08-27 02:11:00 · 10 answers · asked by precious#1 3

imagine there's no heaven and there's no hell.

^_^

Have fun

ps:

i dont want anybody to judge my grammar

2006-08-27 02:01:58 · 15 answers · asked by BigBoy 2

Did you hear Elton John Divorced his new husband...

Elton found out he was having s.e.x behind his back...

2006-08-27 01:49:41 · 9 answers · asked by Henry viii 2

Which Crime is He Going to Commit ?!

2006-08-27 01:38:24 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

I do customer service and people always have something to complaint about, why is that.

2006-08-27 01:18:51 · 14 answers · asked by John R 2

If you read this, you ARE the biggest joke in the word. "queef queef" "weef weef" wizzle wizzle, skit skit skit SKEET!

2006-08-27 01:09:28 · 16 answers · asked by E10 2

2006-08-27 00:57:01 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

The question, "I have a problem, I am doing work on the computer and my mouse is at the right at the very edge of the mouse pad but i cannot go any further because the mouse will go over the edge. I really need to move it more right. What can I do?" The guy who asked this question was serious, and he actually called technical support.

2006-08-27 00:47:55 · 13 answers · asked by E10 2

2006-08-27 00:44:20 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous

There were this two couple and they had a alittle boy... One time the boy saw his mom naked and seen her Private part and the boy asked """" mom what is that? she answered unmalisiously Oh!! that is a GARAGE.......then the boy to his Father and he answered Ummm! that is a car...then the boy one time saw them making love and thae boy said Daddy Daddy can you drive a little bit more in coz the two wheels still out.... ha ha ha

2006-08-27 00:41:49 · 10 answers · asked by lolipop 3

A blonde and a brunette are both in an elevator.

On the third floor a man gets on who's perfect: Italian
suit, handsome, great build with a nice butt, but
unfortunately they both notice he has a bad case of
dandruff. The man gets off on the 5th floor.

Once the doors close, the brunette turns to the blonde and
says, "Someone should give him Head & Shoulders."

To which the blonde replies, "How do you give Shoulders?"

2006-08-27 00:18:19 · 7 answers · asked by Sangy . 4

Brothers and sisters, I have none, but this man's father is my father's son - Who am I ?

2006-08-27 00:16:51 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

In a room are 2 couples: 2 men(A & B) and 2 women (X & Y). In all they totally have only 2 condoms. One of them has the AIDS and they dont know who it is! Now the question is how does A have sex with both X & Y and B also have sex with X & Y using only the 2 condoms but make sure that none are infected? Meaning the body fluid of none touches the other? This is a tough one with a very logical answer..

2006-08-27 00:10:35 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-26 23:55:58 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous

The Cadbury's Candy Co. and Merck Drug Co.
Have combined to market the new Mint flavored
birth control pill that women may take immediately
before sex.

The Pill will be distributed by the large major
drug store chains and Wal-Mart's Pharmacies.

They're going to be called....


Scroll down











"Pre-dick-a-mints."

2006-08-26 23:54:38 · 10 answers · asked by Sangy . 4

Why Brides Wear White

A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night goes to his mother with the following question. "Mom, why are wedding dresses white?"
The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this shows the town that
your bride is pure."
The son thanks his mom and goes off to double-check this with his father. "Dad why are wedding dresses white?"
The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "Son, all household appliances come in white."

2006-08-26 23:52:28 · 11 answers · asked by Sangy . 4

Marriage Humor

You have two choices in life: you can stay single and be miserable
or
get married and wish you were dead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has,
you wish you had ordered that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing
your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other women replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when
I married you."
She replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted". Next day
she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The bride, upon getting engaged, went to her mother and said, "I've found
a man just like father!"
Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let
her keep him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."


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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at all.

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You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with
the boys on Wednesday nights,.............and so does she.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

During a heated spat over finances, the husband said, "Well, if you'd
learn to cook and were willing to clean this place, we could fire the maid."
The wife fuming, shot back, "Oh yeah??? Well, if you'd learn how to make
love, we could fire the chauffeur and the gardener."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My wife told me I should be more affectionate, so I got two girlfriends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How do most men define marriage?
A very expensive way to get your laundry done for free.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.


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First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."


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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with
a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful

2006-08-26 23:50:33 · 14 answers · asked by Sangy . 4

The salt residue contained in one years worth of human sweat is enough to satisfy the requirements of a provincial fish and chip shop for one month.

2006-08-26 23:49:02 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous